Damn you coverage maps!

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I spend a good chunk of my days at work dealing with people who are complaining about their coverage. Cell phone customers seem to be under this highly unrealistic assumption they should be able to get 5 bar LTE signal just about anywhere we have coverage.

And part of the reason is our freaking coverage maps. To get an idea of what I'm talking about, here's the coverage map for T-mobile:



So looking at this map, you can see the state of North Dakota for example is almost completely magenta.

What SCs think this means: I'll have super fast LTE service EVERYWHERE in North Dakota, Woo hoo!

What this ACTUALLY means: You'll get T-mobile signal just about anywhere in North Dakota, but nowhere NEAR 5 bars in a lot of spots.

You see, these maps are created by marketing people, not engineers. A single layer of coverage is incredibly misleading. Not to mention, our wonderful country is NOT flat.

When you consider elevation and terrain factors, construction factors, congestion/traffic factors and a half dozen other things you will quickly realize there are in fact only certain areas where you'll actually get that blazing fast LTE you so desire.

Of course SCs never deal in reality so they bombard me with their crap all day long...

- Well yes sir, your service does suck but despite your complaints it is NOT because of our towers, it's because you're using a POS Prepaid phone you paid $40 for. I mean, this is not exactly an iPhone we're talking about here. The phone costs $40 for a reason (spoiler: it sucks).

- Yes you have no signal. Yes, you live in a valley. No, I can't send you another phone. No, I can't give you a credit. No, I can't cancel your services without a fee. What can I do for you? Recommend you move somewhere that ISN'T IN A VALLEY if you want decent cell signal!

- So you're complaining about dropped calls but you're in an area around a major sporting arena for a team that is currently in their leagues playoffs only FIFTEEN minutes after the game ended and you think its "absolutely preposterous" the towers might be a bit congested.

- Okay, let's get this straight lady. You will not, I repeat NOT get great signal in the middle of Idaho approximately 40 or so miles from any form of civilization. No I don't care what the guy at the store told you. No I can't give you a credit.

- Sure, go ahead and sue us because you only get two bars and you should have four. I'd love to see THAT go to court! Somehow I think "the customer is always right" won't really fly as a legal defense.

- Let's review. You're on a boat in a river in a forest AND at the base of a hill and you're cussing me out because your calls keep dropping and you can't figure out why? People like you are why I fear for the future of humanity.

- Demanding we roll a truck out to your house and install a cell phone tower BY THE END OF WEEK is really not going to endear me to you.

- There have been not one but several people recently complaining to me about their lack of service in - wait for it - an ELEVATOR! I mean my god, we're talking about wireless signals, not high powered laser beams that can cut through anything in their path. You want one of those? Take it up with Dr. Evil.

- Had a guy refusing to pay his bill because it took him - GASP! - THREE MINUTES to download a half hour video. Evidently he expected it to be done in fifteen seconds. How? I haven't the foggiest. It's not like I keep a giant red button at my desk that says MORE SPEED that I can hit whenever I want. That would be pretty cool, not that I'd waste it on him...

[Argabarga]

I'd like a button that says "more derp" that I could hit, then I'd feel like I accomplished something when the next yutz came through the door.

[HotelMinion]

I feel your pain. There were too many times when our sales and marketing team told BLATANT LIES to the customers and us front desk clerks got reamed a new one by the SCs b/c of it. There ought to be a law against false advertising...oh wait there IS one *eyeroll*

[Racket_Man]

- So you're complaining about dropped calls but you're in an area around a major sporting arena for a team that is currently in their leagues playoffs only FIFTEEN minutes after the game ended and you think its "absolutely preposterous" the towers might be a bit congested.

THIS ^^^^^^^^ is sometime a pain. I do know that during the football season they bring in extra portable cell towers AND have vastly upgraded the stuff at the stadium to handle the 75000+ fans AT the stadium AND the gazillion hotels, apts, and homes surrounding said stadium.

It is still a pain for me if:
- I have to call a customer during or just after a game
- I had to call my then living GF to see why she called me in a bit of a panic
- I have to call the store during or just after a game

YES 10 bazillion people trying to all call/text/use data at once will tend to kill service.

[notalwaysright]

All the ads for my work suggest that a customer can walk into our store and ask any question and get dedicated assistance. They say things about getting ideas and inspiration and "just ask!"

Lies! Anyone who's been in a location of the chain I work for (other than rare slow times) knows that we're chronically under staffed, and often the employees are new or otherwise unable to help. I really want to find the marketing staff for the company I work for and make them actually work as a cashier or cutter for a week. During the holidays. With the same amount of training that a real new hire gets.

[Evandril]

It's fun for me, for some reason my house is in a dead spot. I walk down a house, great signal, in either direction...But at my house, in the front yard, inside, on the roof (yes, I actually checked that), shitty signal for both V 'n T, 'tis annoying. Short of them building another tower, or getting rid of whatever is causing the 'shadow', not much they can do, but still annoying :P

[EricKei]

I hate those coverage maps -- For the reason you mentioned, they're basically worthless, if not outright deceptive. x.x

Evandril - Do you live in a brick home, or is there similar material nearby? That could explain it.

As for reception -- There's a place in the middle of BFE (even for rural Louisiana, and that's saying something!) that has a bunch of nice log cabins where people take vacations, go river rafting, spend all day fishing in their stocked pond, etc. When I describe it to people, I tell them not to expect cell phone reception, and I use that as a selling point!

[Mr Hero]

A few of these points were new to me, but after having read them just seem like common sense. If I had a problem with reception and one of the above was happening, I don't think I would have been aware of it until I ask a rep about it. It's still possible to ask about this and not be a dick.

And Oregan's coverage on the above map doesn't surprise me. A few years ago I went to meet my gf's family in the middle of BFE, Oregon. I was without a signal for the stay. I had to depend on wifi calling.

[Librarybabe]

Thanks you for posting the map. I'm looking into changing carriers and now I know T-Mobile is non-existent in my area.

[Aria]

Hey, do you have any idea why my phone wouldn't ring and the voice mail would show up an hour later? I was hoping my mom would call so I would NOT have to go to my sister's place. She didn't, or so I thought, so I left the house. Got all the way to the other town, a twenty minute drive, and my phone dinged with a voice mail... that was left an hour ago. x_x Now I get her to e-mail me but damn, lol

[prjkt]

I'd like a button that says "more derp" that I could hit, then I'd feel like I accomplished something when the next yutz came through the door.

I'd imaging that like those "On Air" signs - every time you press the button it lights up over you shoulder.

You get points based on how many times you can press it before the SC notices.

[XCashier]

All the ads for my work suggest that a customer can walk into our store and ask any question and get dedicated assistance. They say things about getting ideas and inspiration and "just ask!" ....I really want to find the marketing staff for the company I work for and make them actually work as a cashier or cutter for a week. During the holidays. With the same amount of training that a real new hire gets.

^^^This x 1000! Corporate and marketing don't even think about what they're working with! We're not seamstresses or professional crafters, we're just ordinary customer service people. We don't freaking have the time to tell the customer everything they can make with our products and hold their hand and guide them through every damn step!

Saturday, some young man came up to the cutting counter and asked me how to make a backpack. He said it was for home ec class, that they'd made aprons and now the teacher said they were on their own.

Another time, after hearing one of those "ask our team members what's new" ads, some twit asked me, "So, what's new?" and started expectantly at me as if I was going to perform a magic trick. Madam, I have way too much work to do now, I'm not going to show you every new item in the store (that you have no interest in or intend to buy) just to entertain you.

[KellyHabersham]

YES 10 bazillion people trying to all call/text/use data at once will tend to kill service.

Very true.....I know that when my family goes to our cabin in northern Arizona for the July 4th weekend, my brother and his wife often have service issues because of the amount of people using data.

(it's a small town, one major cell phone provider, and the July 4 holiday is a very busy time for that area)

[icmedia]

I get a lot of people in my store who are angry that we don't post coverage maps. When I try to explain to them that they're useless, and offer to pull up a detailed map of their actual address and how the signal looks where they're planning on using the device(s)? "I just want to see a map!"

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

All the ads for my work suggest that a customer can walk into our store and ask any question and get dedicated assistance. They say things about getting ideas and inspiration and "just ask!"

Lies! Anyone who's been in a location of the chain I work for (other than rare slow times) knows that we're chronically under staffed, and often the employees are new or otherwise unable to help. I really want to find the marketing staff for the company I work for and make them actually work as a cashier or cutter for a week. During the holidays. With the same amount of training that a real new hire gets.

And of course the employees in the ads aren't even real employees. They're just actors from some talent agency your company is working with.