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More craziness from the phone lines...
Error NOT in your favor!
This one just bluescreened my brain. We cancelled a line for a guy but the rep who did accidentally it cancelled the wrong line. Okay, fair enough, this happens sometimes. We make the mistake, we take responsibility.
So we nicely tell the customer "our bad, we'll fix it for you". This of course involves waiving the reconnect fees and such.
But then he decides he wants to leave the line cancelled. I explain that sure, he can do that but a $150 Early Termination Fee will apply.
The guy blows his stack and starts ranting on me about how he should NOT have to pay that fee because we cancelled the line in error.
It took me FOUR attempts before he finally understood that yes, the line was cancelled in error and that's why we would waive fees to reconnect it but if he actually wanted it cancelled he'd have to pay the fee.
Suddenly, he decided he'd rather have the line reconnected.
Gender Bender
Unfortunately, most of us who have worked in customer service for any length of time are familiar with those SCs who will only do business with a certain type of person (and please, let's not run this into fratching!). I've had a handful of customers who either demand to talk to a man or refuse to talk to a woman, but this particular SC was odd in that she insisted on talking to another female.
Apparently she'd only been talking to male reps all day long and thought they were lying to her, so she wanted to talk to a woman. We didn't have any female managers around at that hour (call came in 45 minutes before close) and while I considered pitching my voice really high and making a go of it, I ultimately just gave her two options:
1. She could speak to yet another man (i.e. me)
2. She could call back tomorrow if she was determined to speak to a woman.
She thanked me and said she'd call back tomorrow. Some people I just don't get.
English, Mother F*&^er, can you read it?
I hate wannabe legal experts. Seems like several times I week I get on manager calls with people who are convinced they know EXACTLY what our service agreement says and because it says X, Y or Z I MUST give them a free phone or let them out of their instalment plan without penalty, or give them a $500 credit for services NOT provided.
Of course it most certainly does NOT say those things, as a matter of fact, it says much the opposite in most cases. It's very detailed and very clearly lays out ALL THE THINGS you are agreeing to when you buy one of our phones and use our services.
But they still don't agree. Fine, go on, sue us, try and prove me wrong. I'll enjoy watching you waste your money fighting us.
But wait, there's more!
SC: I got two new lines last month. It was a buy one, get one free deal but I've been charged for both lines, what the hell??
Me: I apologize for the confusion. The way that deal works is you get both phones on our SHARP Instalment plans and after you've had service for awhile on one of the devices, we send you a prepaid debit card for the cost of it. You still need to pay your activation fees and the monthly access charge on each line.
SC: Access charge? Why do I need to pay an access charge?
Me: Well there are essentially three parts to your phone bill. Device costs, access costs and taxes/fees.
SC: I don't understand.
Me:
Me: You have to pay for your phone, you have to pay for the voice, text and data services we provide to the phone and you have to pay the taxes associated with each.
SC: But it was supposed to be a FREE phone!!
Me: And it is, after you've had the phone for a few months we send you a prepaid VISA card for the cost of the device.
SC: The guy at the store said I wouldn't have to pay ANYTHING. You need to fix this right now.
Me: I apologize if the store rep gave you incorrect information but there's really nothing me for to fix. I tell you what though, I'll waive all charges on that line for you for three months because of the error. Is that acceptable?
SC: NO.
Me: ...Okay, so what would you like me to do for you?
SC: Make the line free.
Me: Well as I said, the system won't let me do that. I can offer the credit like I said, but I can't waive the charges permanently.
SC: Fine, just cancel that line then. I don't want it.
Me: I can do that, but you will have to pay the remaining $642 on your instalment plan.
SC: WHAT?!?!? HELL NO. Dude...this was a free phone. FREE PHONE. It shouldn't cost me a PENNY to cancel it!!
Me: It is free in a sense but there are requirements for this promotion, one of which is you keep service with us for several months. If you want to cancel today, you will not meet that requirement and no longer be eligible for the promotion.
SC: The guy at the store told me it would be FREE. Why the hell isn't it FREE?!?
Me: I apologize again for the misinformation, would you like the three months of credit?
SC: No, I want the phone to be FREE, as in I pay NOTHING for that line as long as I have it on my account!!
Me: Well, I'm afraid I can't make that happen for you. You are welcome to go back to the store and discuss it with the manager there if you wish.
SC: This is completely unacceptable. I'm going to go back to the store, throw these phones in the trash and take my businesses elsewhere!! *CLICK*
Sigh...I have a love/hate relationship with store reps. Now of course this SC could have been lying through his teeth about what the rep said but I know for a fact some of them tell the customers all manner of lies and half truths to get them to sign on the dotted line, subsequently leaving people like me to clean up the inevitable mess. And don't even get me started on our "authorized dealers"...
Short and sucky
PROTIP: If you want me to make a special exception for you calling me champ, sport, guy, boss, chief or sparky is NOT going to help your cause!
Error NOT in your favor!
This one just bluescreened my brain. We cancelled a line for a guy but the rep who did accidentally it cancelled the wrong line. Okay, fair enough, this happens sometimes. We make the mistake, we take responsibility.
So we nicely tell the customer "our bad, we'll fix it for you". This of course involves waiving the reconnect fees and such.
But then he decides he wants to leave the line cancelled. I explain that sure, he can do that but a $150 Early Termination Fee will apply.
The guy blows his stack and starts ranting on me about how he should NOT have to pay that fee because we cancelled the line in error.
It took me FOUR attempts before he finally understood that yes, the line was cancelled in error and that's why we would waive fees to reconnect it but if he actually wanted it cancelled he'd have to pay the fee.
Suddenly, he decided he'd rather have the line reconnected.
Gender Bender
Unfortunately, most of us who have worked in customer service for any length of time are familiar with those SCs who will only do business with a certain type of person (and please, let's not run this into fratching!). I've had a handful of customers who either demand to talk to a man or refuse to talk to a woman, but this particular SC was odd in that she insisted on talking to another female.
Apparently she'd only been talking to male reps all day long and thought they were lying to her, so she wanted to talk to a woman. We didn't have any female managers around at that hour (call came in 45 minutes before close) and while I considered pitching my voice really high and making a go of it, I ultimately just gave her two options:
1. She could speak to yet another man (i.e. me)
2. She could call back tomorrow if she was determined to speak to a woman.
She thanked me and said she'd call back tomorrow. Some people I just don't get.
English, Mother F*&^er, can you read it?
I hate wannabe legal experts. Seems like several times I week I get on manager calls with people who are convinced they know EXACTLY what our service agreement says and because it says X, Y or Z I MUST give them a free phone or let them out of their instalment plan without penalty, or give them a $500 credit for services NOT provided.
Of course it most certainly does NOT say those things, as a matter of fact, it says much the opposite in most cases. It's very detailed and very clearly lays out ALL THE THINGS you are agreeing to when you buy one of our phones and use our services.
But they still don't agree. Fine, go on, sue us, try and prove me wrong. I'll enjoy watching you waste your money fighting us.
But wait, there's more!
SC: I got two new lines last month. It was a buy one, get one free deal but I've been charged for both lines, what the hell??
Me: I apologize for the confusion. The way that deal works is you get both phones on our SHARP Instalment plans and after you've had service for awhile on one of the devices, we send you a prepaid debit card for the cost of it. You still need to pay your activation fees and the monthly access charge on each line.
SC: Access charge? Why do I need to pay an access charge?
Me: Well there are essentially three parts to your phone bill. Device costs, access costs and taxes/fees.
SC: I don't understand.
Me:
Me: You have to pay for your phone, you have to pay for the voice, text and data services we provide to the phone and you have to pay the taxes associated with each.
SC: But it was supposed to be a FREE phone!!
Me: And it is, after you've had the phone for a few months we send you a prepaid VISA card for the cost of the device.
SC: The guy at the store said I wouldn't have to pay ANYTHING. You need to fix this right now.
Me: I apologize if the store rep gave you incorrect information but there's really nothing me for to fix. I tell you what though, I'll waive all charges on that line for you for three months because of the error. Is that acceptable?
SC: NO.
Me: ...Okay, so what would you like me to do for you?
SC: Make the line free.
Me: Well as I said, the system won't let me do that. I can offer the credit like I said, but I can't waive the charges permanently.
SC: Fine, just cancel that line then. I don't want it.
Me: I can do that, but you will have to pay the remaining $642 on your instalment plan.
SC: WHAT?!?!? HELL NO. Dude...this was a free phone. FREE PHONE. It shouldn't cost me a PENNY to cancel it!!
Me: It is free in a sense but there are requirements for this promotion, one of which is you keep service with us for several months. If you want to cancel today, you will not meet that requirement and no longer be eligible for the promotion.
SC: The guy at the store told me it would be FREE. Why the hell isn't it FREE?!?
Me: I apologize again for the misinformation, would you like the three months of credit?
SC: No, I want the phone to be FREE, as in I pay NOTHING for that line as long as I have it on my account!!
Me: Well, I'm afraid I can't make that happen for you. You are welcome to go back to the store and discuss it with the manager there if you wish.
SC: This is completely unacceptable. I'm going to go back to the store, throw these phones in the trash and take my businesses elsewhere!! *CLICK*
Sigh...I have a love/hate relationship with store reps. Now of course this SC could have been lying through his teeth about what the rep said but I know for a fact some of them tell the customers all manner of lies and half truths to get them to sign on the dotted line, subsequently leaving people like me to clean up the inevitable mess. And don't even get me started on our "authorized dealers"...
Short and sucky
PROTIP: If you want me to make a special exception for you calling me champ, sport, guy, boss, chief or sparky is NOT going to help your cause!
When we get those calls, dispatch sends out a message on the terminals saying where and when the trip is, ladies please call in, because the one thing our system can't select by is driver's gender.
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