craziest crazy phone call i've ever taken + bonus a-hole

[katzklaw]

so... couple days ago i got a call.. started out normal enough. custy asked first if we had trailers for rent... informed her we had cabins. she asked how long one could stay in a cabin. i explained they were not for long term stays and we only rented them by the day. she was like "oh. well do you have a discount for a longer stay?" 6 nights for the cost of 5 is best i can do. then she asks about tents. tell her again that we don't do long term on tents (we barely do any long term at all at this location, actually... mostly it's at manager's discretion... and i ain't the manager! lol)

she kept going back you "yeah, but how long CAN i stay?" i finally just say 28 days, so as to stay under a month and not fall into whatever "long term stay is now a resident and must go thru the official eviction process" law bs that may exist here...seemed pleasant enough, call was wrapping up... just about to say "ok, thank you. have a nice day." and hang up, and suddenly.. her voice literally changed and she launched into this 10 minute run-on-sentence rant about how Kevin Costner was her twin soul, had been abducted and replaced, and was actually in the boot of Italy being tortured, she was a reborn virgin of God and if she were also captured and tortured there would be hell on earth and the world would end, and there were evil people in Colorado that were trying to get her and she needed to move back to California to get away from them and evil people in her family and and and and and. started calling me by a name TOTALLY not like my real name (my name is 2 syllables, the name she started using started with a completely different letter than mine and had 3. was SUPER strange

omg. i couldn't get a word in edgewise... i didn't have any other calls coming in, nor any guests in front of me, so i just let her yammer on while i cleaned the office... she finally wound down and said goodbye. left me shaking my head. lol

and for the other guy... well.. guy comes in... we have had a LOT of snow... 2 weeks ago we got 3 feet in 3 days on top of an existing 7 inches. was more, and fell faster, than is normal for this area, so our equipment couldn't really handle it. we only have a few spaces plowed out and usable. guy only wanted water and electric, no sewer... i have a few of those right on the front row, so i sign him up for one of those... tell him where the site is, give him a map... whole 9 yards. (note: i do have 2 other reservations coming in that day). guy goes into the park, takes a look at the site i assigned him, and takes it upon himself to randomly drive to the far side of the park into a full hookup site (thankfully not one of the reserved ones) without so much as saying a PEEP to me...

not only that, when he pulled into the site, he pulled so far in he pulled into the road in front of himself. my outside guy went and talked to him, and the guy was like "is it ok if i park my truck here?" "no, you're blocking the road, we need to get through." and the guy actually said "it's no big deal, no one is coming in today." my outside guy had to resist the urge to say "you came in today." and just reiterated he needed to park not blocking any roads. told my guy to tell me if he hooked up to the sewer... i was TOTALLY gonna charge him for the upgrade. he didn't, tho, so i didn't get to. seriously, tho. wtf?

[eltf177]

The woman sounds like she lost her foil hat and needs a new one...

The guy should totally have been charged an upgrade fee, and if he'd given you trouble about blocking the road tossed out without a refund...

[Rosco the Iroc]

I'm sure she is perfectly fine andWHOA BIG DOGS ARE LANDING ON MY FACEand just got side tracked in checking for an reservation.

[MoonCat]

By any chance did the woman give her name? She sounds a bit like a wackjob that used to call us and go off into these huge rants about how the CIA and the govn't had kidnapped and raped her, something about JFK Jr., stolen jewels, the whole 9 yards of crazy. She was one of the few nutcases I've talked to that you couldn't tell from word one, it was only after she talked a bit that she suddenly veered off into fantasy-land.

Also one of the few people in 38 years at that place that ever scared me.

[raw1989]

By any chance did the woman give her name? She sounds a bit like a wackjob that used to call us and go off into these huge rants about how the CIA and the govn't had kidnapped and raped her, something about JFK Jr., stolen jewels, the whole 9 yards of crazy. She was one of the few nutcases I've talked to that you couldn't tell from word one, it was only after she talked a bit that she suddenly veered off into fantasy-land.

Also one of the few people in 38 years at that place that ever scared me.

I had a similar call where she clamed religion and it was our time to go ect let me tell u how fast I ran from that call... If only our call center would block some people from calling us....

[notalwaysright]

That lady reminded me of a customer I helped a while ago... It was like listening to someone describe a dream they had. There was also a customer who started coming in not too long before I left the fabric store. She always had a tiny dog in her cart, and very long fake nails. Maybe three inches long, but they were GROSS underneath and her real nail had grown out, so it just looked funky. She'd say odd things about why she was buying her fabric. She once told me she was buying fabric so he would have something to do while she was at rehab. But then she came in again like the next week. You had to be really careful not to engage her about anything, or else she would stay and talk your ear off.

I wonder what happened, because Twoface was enforcing the company's policy about not allowing any animal except service animals. Oh, and that guy who parked at the full hookup site should be charged accordingly! So what if he didn't use all the hookups, he was parked in that spot. I mean, if I stay in a hotel with a waterfront view, but refuse to open the curtains, can I pay for a room with no view?

[katzklaw]

i don't remember her giving her name... and i wasn't scared.. just kind of bemused. i suppose it may have been different if she were in front of me instead of on the phone... but she wasn't agressive or worrisome... just... off the deep end going round and round round about Costner being tortured in Italy (specifically the boot part).

and as for the guy... ehh. we're kind of lenient here when it's quiet.. we have, and do, put people on nicer sites or into nicer cabins occasionally than what they actually paid for (example charging a tent rate for the full hookup site that's RIGHT next to the restrooms when the park was dead quiet and the guy was, indeed, only staying in a tent) the guy just pissed me off that he did his own thing without even asking me... and trust me, i wouldn't have asked if it was ok to run his card for the extra 5 bucks a night if he HAD hooked up to sewer.

[WishfulSpirit]

By any chance did the woman give her name? She sounds a bit like a wackjob that used to call us and go off into these huge rants about how the CIA and the govn't had kidnapped and raped her, something about JFK Jr., stolen jewels, the whole 9 yards of crazy. She was one of the few nutcases I've talked to that you couldn't tell from word one, it was only after she talked a bit that she suddenly veered off into fantasy-land.

Also one of the few people in 38 years at that place that ever scared me.

Sounds like Uncle Vic has a sister out there somewhere

[Kit-Ginevra]

Oh, and that guy who parked at the full hookup site should be charged accordingly! So what if he didn't use all the hookups, he was parked in that spot. I mean, if I stay in a hotel with a waterfront view, but refuse to open the curtains, can I pay for a room with no view?

Cue the wonderful story of man who stays in hotel and is billed for all sorts of extras-sauna,jacuzzi,etc that he didn't use.When he queries his bill with the manager,he is told 'They were available,you had the opportunity if you wanted....'
He replies 'Fine,but when I've paid this,I'll be putting in a complaint that you slept with my wife.'The manager replied 'I did no such thing'. 'Well,she was available,you had the opportunity if you wanted...'

[emax4]

"The tow trucks are coming today. You feelin' lucky?" (pick up phone)

[Lovecats]

"The tow trucks are coming today. You feelin' lucky?" (pick up phone)

You forgot the "punk" on the end there. Just sayin....

[Ironclad Alibi]

With apologies to Jo Stafford:

Tow Trucks

Tow trucks is a-comin'
Their hooks are in sight
Tow trucks is a-comin'
There's towin' tonight
Why don't-cha hurry, hurry, hurry home
Why don't-cha hurry, hurry, hurry home
Look here! The tow trucks is a-comin'
There's towin' tonight
(Tow trucks is a-comin', there's towin' tonight)

(SLOWLY):
They leave the lot for the evenin' ride
And their dispatchers wave their good-bye
(Ill sant vas... There they go)
While the bright full moon floats on high
And they wait for the day they can cry...

Tow trucks is a-comin'
Their hooks are in sight
Tow trucks is a-comin'
There's towin' tonight
Why don't-cha hurry, hurry, hurry home
Why don't-cha hurry, hurry, hurry home
Look here! The tow trucks is a-comin'
There's towin' tonight
(Tow trucks is a-comin', there's towin' tonight)

(SLOWLY):
Happy the days while they're greasing the winch
'Til once more they ride out for a fee
(Ill sant vas... There they go)
Then how lonely the long nights will be
'Til that wonderful day when they see...

Tow trucks is a-comin'
Their hooks are in sight
Tow trucks is a-comin'
There's towin' tonight
Why don't-cha hurry, hurry, hurry home
Why don't-cha hurry, hurry, hurry home
Look here! The tow trucks is a-comin'
There's towin' tonight
(Tow trucks is a-comin', there's towin' tonight)

[XRogue]

Had one earlier this week. As follows...

This week I got a customer on the phone who wanted to know why her legal name change had not come thru the systems and was not posting on the account yet. I looked into that and advised it was because of a legal issue that means it won't take effect until 90 days after it was filed. 3 months. The name change was filed 3 weeks ago.

The notes on the account also stated that the customer had been advised of this each week since filing the paperwork, plus the initial notification at the time of filing. And that each time she'd called in she'd requested a manager because she refused to believe the frontline agent.

At this point customer became irate and started swearing. I replied that I understood the frustration but the legality in question could not be gotten around in any way, by anyone, and that even if the software would permit it, the customer could not expect our employees to break the law and risk termination and any legal consequences that might ensue. Nor was the refusal to do so in any way a personal attack on the customer.

Customer remained irate, kept swearing, dared me to hang up on her ( also very much discouraged by employer) and finally requested another manager.

Turned out to be the same one she'd gotten the previous day, thankfully so already familiar with the case.

[vikingchyk]

At this point customer became irate and started swearing.

I'm guessing that changing her name to "Bitchy McBitchface" is frowned upon my your employer...

[XRogue]

I'm guessing that changing her name to "Bitchy McBitchface" is frowned upon my your employer...

Alas, yes. Altho I will admit to keeping myself cool by thinking up similar name replacements......Crusty McCunstomer topped the list.....

And cx did slow the swearing a little bit. After asking why the foul language did not seem to offend me, and being advised that I learned to swear from my Uncle George, a Marine veteran of the Korean War.