How to get moved to the front of the line at the food stamp office

[Blue Ginger]

I could work there for the next 100 years and would still be mocked about this.

You will probably go down in the history of the office. You will be referenced for years to come.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that freaks out a bit about being around anyone about to drop a bundle. Way to scary.

I freak out around blood, guts, body fluids and pain. If anyone ever expects me to be in the delivery room, they are going to need a nurse dedicated to keeping me from passing out, puking or both. Probably both.

And as a very un-athelitic 33 year old, I would be climbing the walls to escape the elevator too.

[Slave to the Phone]

I'm pretty sure there are exits in the ceilings of most elevators ... and as non-athletic as I am at the ripe old age of 62, I would bloody well levitate myself out of there if I had to.

Thank you so much for reminding me of those, I had totally forgotten!

Today, a man came to the front desk and asked for me. Those bitches pointed me out and he came over to me and told me that his wife was very grateful for my help, so wanted me to see pics of her new baby!

From what he told me, she had started having real labor contractions while she was talking to her worker but didn't say anything because I was so concerned about her having the other kind. He said she would grab her kid and hug him so I couldn't see her face. I just thought they were conversing while waiting for her worker to make her calls and he said something sweet.

Baby was born less than 5 hours after she left the office! It could have happened here if I hadn't fast passed her!!! After that conversation, I had to take a break and run to the closest store to get a paper bag to breath into for a while.

[Blue Ginger]

Oh dear dog! I'm going to have nightmares about this now.

Even in labour, she is clearly a nice person to not want you to freak out. Glad both of them are doing ok.

You are never going to be allowed to live this one down.

[Mental_Mouse]

So, your "irrational fear" turned out to be completely justified? Congratulations! Of course, the local drama queens will hate you because now they don't get to talk about "a woman gave birth in the waiting room, OMG!"

[Sliceanddice]

]... I wanted to be a Midwife back in the day...
I have sat through surgeries and the like...
So I dont understand the panic but I understand why, i understand why people can be freaked out by blood and stuff.
Me? I can't handle watching a needle enter my skin any more.
I can handle watching a real time knee replacement surgery but a needle going into my arm?
I am always on verge of panic

I'm pretty sure there are exits in the ceilings of most elevators ... and as non-athletic as I am at the ripe old age of 62, I would bloody well levitate myself out of there if I had to

I'm sorry to be the one to inform you this, but those emergency exits?
Are locked from the inside the elevator and only accessible from the outside.
Why? So that people without the proper training and equipment can't crawl around on the top of a dangerous piece of equipment with the potential of crushing or falling injury.

Why do you think you never really see them? They hide them behind panels and lights to eliminate the temptation to try.

[Kit-Ginevra]

This..

[Slave to the Phone]

Of course, the local drama queens will hate you because now they don't get to talk about "a woman gave birth in the waiting room, OMG!"

Nah, they still get to mock me for panicking without "reason" and then talk about when they would have called 911 with discussions of water breaking and timing labor pains. (The mocking will all be good natured, and it really won't last that long because my good natured reaction is to agree that it was pretty funny and remind them how frightened I was of Sup A and Sup B during the last month of their pregnancies.)



I get to go back to my quiet cube for the next 4 months tomorrow. I am SO happy. I can interview an in labor woman over the phone while messaging a sup to call 911. All of the messy stuff will happen outside locked security doors!

[Rayndel]

Psh. If I had waited for the whole "five minutes between contractions before going to the hospital" I would've had my daughter at home. ....well, no, the contractions were terrible so I would've been at the hospital for the pain, but still. Mine never hit a steady time. The nurse was horribly confused. I'd go 10 minutes, then have 2 in 2 minutes. *shrugs*

(13 hours exactly, no complications, slept for a good part of it. Yay epidurals!)

But don't feel bad, Slave. I was scared of me when I was pregnant too! ^_^

[Slave to the Phone]

I would have been scared of you too! Pregnant women are scary! Even when they aren't going to give birth within a month, they still tend to be rather unpredictable. While I am perfectly fine with holding someone's hair while they puke, the mood swings tend to leave me feeling shell shocked.

I am no longer the main topic of conversation now, though. Someone else's customer got so mad about being questioned about income that she threw some chairs and then slid/tossed her baby (in a car seat) half way across the lobby.

My co-workers will never forget, though. When it comes to embarrassing moments, we all have very good memories.

[greek_jester]

I am no longer the main topic of conversation now, though. Someone else's customer got so mad about being questioned about income that she threw some chairs and then slid/tossed her baby (in a car seat) half way across the lobby.

Please, please tell me the police and CPS were called, and that the baby was checked over by a doctor.

[Mental_Mouse]

I am no longer the main topic of conversation now, though. Someone else's customer got so mad about being questioned about income that she threw some chairs and then slid/tossed her baby (in a car seat) half way across the lobby.

My co-workers will never forget, though. When it comes to embarrassing moments, we all have very good memories.

Long before "15 minutes of fame", there was the "nine-days wonder"....

[WishfulSpirit]

I hear you about the labor bit. It's scary to even think about, like what if I'm in the elevator like in earlier 90s sitcoms?

Even if it is not a first child, unless there's rare complications like a serious preterm labor, kids take a long time to come out. Since this person was full term it's likely labor would take a while (several hours best case scenario...the female body is designed to give birth but a 7lb object doesn't exit a 10cm hole too easily, 12+ hours from "oh a contraction" to "holding kid and beaming" isn't at all unusual). There would be plenty of time for EMS to get there.

[sstabeler]

that's probably not actually helping...

[morgana]

12+ hours from "oh a contraction" to "holding kid and beaming" isn't at all unusual). There would be plenty of time for EMS to get there.

On the other hand was the coworker who went to her appointment with the ob/gyn when she was two weeks out from her due date, got asked why she hadn't gone to the hospital instead, how close were her contractions now?

She responded, "what contractions?"

The kid was crowning . . .

Oh, and I'm another who was so traumatized by watching a birth that I went out and had my tubes tied . . .

[Slave to the Phone]

Please, please tell me the police and CPS were called, and that the baby was checked over by a doctor.

From what I have been told by a witness (who we all in the office have diagnosed as being high-functioning Asperger's, who always tells the unvarnished truth).

Security was instantly involved and tazers and handcuffs happened quickly. A client grabbed the car seat before it stopped sliding and took baby into the restroom and braced herself against the door to keep anyone out. (baby was fine, just scared) Cops arrived, custody of woman went to them and once the woman in the restroom was convinced that it was safe to open the door, CPS (who just happened to work in our building) were there to take custody of the baby.

For anyone who thinks that applying for government services includes a reasonable expectation of privacy, you are wrong.

We learned within half an hour that she was currently 6 months pregnant with her 4th child. The other 2 babies had been removed from her custody, one before she left the hospital due to her holding the baby in the air and threatening to throw her on the floor if the hospital staff didn't start treating her with more respect.

Sadly, a lot of our clients are not playing with a full deck, but as a usual rule, even if they only have 17 cards left, they don't deliberately put their kids in danger.

Back to the thread, I am very amused by the 2 camps I see with the responses. There is Team "Nobody has ever been killed witnessing childbirth" and Team "Oh, hell no! I will choose surgical options first!"

I appreciate the calm and reasoned responses about why I was probably pretty safe due to timing. You folks are all right. I know this. Doesn't matter, if it happens again, the only thing that will change is that I have paper bags stashed so I won't need to go to the store. (which will help my rep, Slave is so calm and prepared that she has paper bags to breath in while watching someone give birth.)