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Hello, everyone. So, as mentioned earlier in my new job I handle all kinds of high level complaints. Most people are decent enough but we do get our share of SCs. One of the best parts about being in this department is there is no manager for customers to speak to, I am the end of the line. 
You are why I hate humanity
Lady goes to the trouble of filing a complaint with a state regulatory agency over...wait for it...a SIX DOLLAR LATE FEE!! The basic gist of her complaint was: "I don't think this fee is fair and I want it credited back."
A few problems:
1) I can tell looking at the account that she NEVER called regular customer service about this.
2) We've already credited back TWO late fees in the past year.
3) She actually did pay her bill LATE causing, you know, a fee.
So I go over all of this with my manager (he doesn't take calls but I do obviously have one) and we both agree that while it's probably well within our rights to tell her no, <Red Checkmark> has already spent well over $6 handling this mess so it's probably best in this case to just eat the fee and be done with it. We did however add notes to the account stating that next time she is disputing a late fee to refer the customer to us, where she will promptly be told no as we made painfully clear to her that this will be the LAST time this is going to happen.
"Dog" Days of Summer - FCC style
One of the things that has amazed me in this job is the astonishingly dumb reasons people will file complaints. So far, this one takes the cake:
A dude filed an FCC complaint on us because he didn't like the way one of the <Red Checkmark> store employees looked at him and his service dog when he went in there.
That's it.
That's the entire complaint. No billing problem. No phone issues, just...that.
Fortunately, these are pretty easy. I just tell the guy I have the store managers info, we'll follow up internally, retrain the rep if needed (by all this I mean we'll do absolutely nothing of course
) and he goes away satisfied but...why did my time have to be wasted with this???
That didn't work too well for you did it, pal?
Sometimes it takes more than a single call to resolve these complaints so customers will be assigned a single point of contact (i.e. me) to discuss their issue with. This ensures consistency and also makes it a lot easier to get things done. If a customer calls back while I am still working on an issue for them they HAVE to talk to me. Maybe you can see where this is going...
The SC in question made a completely ridiculous demand of a $2000 credit because that's what he'd estimated a day of his time was worth. On the day in question we'd apparently screwed up something on his account that left him without service for around 14 hours. Now, to be fair, we did legitimately screw something up and I have no problem offering some compensation for this, but $2000 is just not going to happen. He's a pretty valuable customer in terms of money spent with us, so I offer the guy $250 (which is just a shade under his entire monthly bill) he says no. So I tell him, there's no other offer. It's $250, take it or leave it. Nope, he wants his $2000 and he's going to call back until he gets it.
So I told him if he calls back, he is going to get me again and I will give him the exact same answer. He hangs up in a huff.
Not five minutes later my desk phone rings. I have caller ID so I KNOW it's him.
Me: Thank you for calling <Red Checkmark> Mr. SC, you still aren't getting your $2000.
SC: Screw you! <Click>
Ten minutes later...
Me: Thank you for calling <Red Checkmark>. You still can't get your $2000.
SC: Argh! <Click>
Thirty minutes later...
Me: Thank you for calling <Red Checkmark> Mr. SC, the answer still hasn't changed.
SC: Goddammit! <Click>
And my phone stayed quiet for the rest of the day.
Crazedclerk WINS! FLAWLESS VICTORY!
You are why I hate humanity
Lady goes to the trouble of filing a complaint with a state regulatory agency over...wait for it...a SIX DOLLAR LATE FEE!! The basic gist of her complaint was: "I don't think this fee is fair and I want it credited back."
A few problems:
1) I can tell looking at the account that she NEVER called regular customer service about this.
2) We've already credited back TWO late fees in the past year.
3) She actually did pay her bill LATE causing, you know, a fee.
So I go over all of this with my manager (he doesn't take calls but I do obviously have one) and we both agree that while it's probably well within our rights to tell her no, <Red Checkmark> has already spent well over $6 handling this mess so it's probably best in this case to just eat the fee and be done with it. We did however add notes to the account stating that next time she is disputing a late fee to refer the customer to us, where she will promptly be told no as we made painfully clear to her that this will be the LAST time this is going to happen.
"Dog" Days of Summer - FCC style
One of the things that has amazed me in this job is the astonishingly dumb reasons people will file complaints. So far, this one takes the cake:
A dude filed an FCC complaint on us because he didn't like the way one of the <Red Checkmark> store employees looked at him and his service dog when he went in there.
That's it.
That's the entire complaint. No billing problem. No phone issues, just...that.
Fortunately, these are pretty easy. I just tell the guy I have the store managers info, we'll follow up internally, retrain the rep if needed (by all this I mean we'll do absolutely nothing of course
) and he goes away satisfied but...why did my time have to be wasted with this???That didn't work too well for you did it, pal?
Sometimes it takes more than a single call to resolve these complaints so customers will be assigned a single point of contact (i.e. me) to discuss their issue with. This ensures consistency and also makes it a lot easier to get things done. If a customer calls back while I am still working on an issue for them they HAVE to talk to me. Maybe you can see where this is going...
The SC in question made a completely ridiculous demand of a $2000 credit because that's what he'd estimated a day of his time was worth. On the day in question we'd apparently screwed up something on his account that left him without service for around 14 hours. Now, to be fair, we did legitimately screw something up and I have no problem offering some compensation for this, but $2000 is just not going to happen. He's a pretty valuable customer in terms of money spent with us, so I offer the guy $250 (which is just a shade under his entire monthly bill) he says no. So I tell him, there's no other offer. It's $250, take it or leave it. Nope, he wants his $2000 and he's going to call back until he gets it.
So I told him if he calls back, he is going to get me again and I will give him the exact same answer. He hangs up in a huff.
Not five minutes later my desk phone rings. I have caller ID so I KNOW it's him.
Me: Thank you for calling <Red Checkmark> Mr. SC, you still aren't getting your $2000.
SC: Screw you! <Click>
Ten minutes later...
Me: Thank you for calling <Red Checkmark>. You still can't get your $2000.
SC: Argh! <Click>
Thirty minutes later...
Me: Thank you for calling <Red Checkmark> Mr. SC, the answer still hasn't changed.
SC: Goddammit! <Click>
And my phone stayed quiet for the rest of the day.
Crazedclerk WINS! FLAWLESS VICTORY!
I see that Gravekeeper's crazies found their way to you.
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