Me employee, you not

[ArenaBoy]

One of the cool things about working parking at Whiskeyclone was we had our own building and it was hard to find if you were just going by sight alone. Off the street, it looks like a tiny little office building that has nothing to do with the arena and from the entire parking lot the building is covered by trees so it was just about impossible to find which was good as always. Also. if we were about to go on break and customers could be seen nearby we'd disappear into the woods and go to the building.

[Cedophile]

What's the point in that? SC's will not read signs, unless its for a sale.

Sign idea:

SALE
STAY OUT
EMPLOYEES ONLY

Think it'll get someone's attention?

[Broomjockey]

Sign idea:

SALE
STAY OUT
EMPLOYEES ONLY

Think it'll get someone's attention?

Yes, unfortunately, the attention will be customers whining about an employee only sale.

[Kilamon]

Maybe a biohazard sign? Or radiation?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

FREE SHIT
YESTERDAY ONLY

[IT Grunt]

BEWARE OF DOGS?
BAH!
BEWARE OF EMPLOYEES!

[aurelemsrealm]

I used to work overnight at the local K-Mart. This was when the X-Box 360 first came out on the market. I know that some people have nothing better to do than to annoy the rest of humanity, but I found myself wondering why on Earth anyone would be out at 2:30 in the morning to buy an X-Box 360. As for me, if I hadn't been working, I would have been at home relaxing at 2:30 in the morning if I was awake at all. Anyway, there was this group of "teenage slackers," at the risk of stereotyping, but it seemed to fit. They wanted to know if we had any X-Box 360s in stock. There were none in electronics, so I went to Loss Prevention to get the keys for Lock-Up. Of course, these stupid kids wanted to follow me back there. I told them no. They waited at the doors. The keys were at Customer Service, so we went up there. I told that I'd save them the trip of running back and forth across the store with me if they just wanted to wait, for their convenience. Then, I'd phone Customer Service to tell them whether or not we had any X-Box 360s. Plus, they were getting on my nerves anyway. They insisted that they wanted to follow me. I just rolled my eyes, ok, whatever. We got to the stock room door, and they started to follow me until I told them to go back to the floor. After they went back, I continued to Lock-Up. As I expected, we had no X-Box 360s in stock. A quick glance told me that much, but I realized that it wouldn't be convincing even though it was true. So, I stalled a minute or two. Plus, I knew I'd be done with my other work in no time at all, and I hate wandering around the store trying to look busy when the work is actually done. So, I finally came out to tell them we had nothing to offer. They wanted to know if they could go back there and just look around for themselves. Of course, I told them no. They kept pestering me about it all the way back to the corridor which led to Loss Prevention. I told the guard on duty what was going on, and that they might be a security risk since they were so persistent about it. I also phoned the manager on duty to inform him of the situation. Then, I returned to the shelves I had been straightening. It was really of no concern to me any way, but I never understood why people would be out at such hours of the night for what I considered to be frivolous reasons. That's just my way of thinking, though.

[Misanthropical]

You know the Caution, Wet floor signs that people put up on the floors to prevent an SC filing a Lawsuit? Same thinks applies here. You read how the Customer was treated after going to a restricted area. They must have the right to get feirceful with them.

You're kidding, right? I saw a woman walk right into one of those signs, fall down and then scream for an ambulance. Of course, the mall called an ambulance for the woman.

[Arcade Man D]

See, if I were in the back and a non-employee followed me back there, and refused to leave, I have a tool board. My threat would be. "This is an employee only area. Leave now, or I'll grab a tool from this board and throw it at you. If you're lucky, it'll just be the 12" crescent wrench. If you're unlucky? It'll be the hacksaw."

I should mention that it's actually impossible for that to happen, as it's a self-locking door. ^_^

[protege]

My friend owns a car stereo store. He has a sign on the door to the shop area reading "Employees Only". He works with tools, cars, etc. back there and doesn't need a nosey person poking around.

Whenever I drop the car off for work, I never go back to check on it. Most places have large windows around the waiting area so you can easily see what's going on. Besides, it's dangerous out there. Too many tools lying around, open inspection pits in the floors, etc. My feeling is, if there's a problem, they'll tell me.

The only time I've gone back to look at a car, is when I go to the MG place to see how they're progressing with it. Usually, when I get there, I just ask to see the "orange GT" in the back, and they know who I am I give the car a quick once-over to see what they've been up to, BS with the guys, and then go. I always make sure to stay out of their way, since there are usually other cars (Mercedes, various Porsches, Jaguars, other MGs, etc.) around, many of which are being worked on for the upcoming race season.

[Andara Bledin]

The only time I've gone back to look at a car, is when I go to the MG place to see how they're progressing with it. Usually, when I get there, I just ask to see the "orange GT" in the back, and they know who I am

I'm sure they do. My aunt had an MG and so did one of my teachers at school.

They were always having to be taken to the shop. My aunt didn't get regular maintenance on hers, so it wasn't much of a surprise that it was always breaking down. But the teacher had his serviced religiously, and it was still always breaking down.

^-.-^

[justZu]

FREE SHIT
YESTERDAY ONLY

BUY ONE FOR THE PRICE OF TWO
GET THE SECOND ONE FREE

I said that to a customer once, confused the hell outta him

[Gabrielle Proctor]

I love it when you take me there to pet the kitties! You're such a good friend!

[Best Made Tacos]

When I worked in a call centre, we were in a building that had to pass 4 security checks before you could reach my floor. We had guards at reception, the whole deal - and rightly so, the computers had a lot of sensitive information on them. They were always telling us not to swipe other ppl through and to watch out for anyone out of place - a homeless guy got in once and stole a bunch of wallets and mobiles off the desks.
Still, I get into my floor one day and out front the final set of unmanned security doors is this guy holding a big bunch of flower, wandering around and looking lost, tugging at the doors and trying to get in. I figured he was a delivery guy who got waved up.
Me: "Can I help you?"
Him: "What is this place? What does 'SBM unit' mean"? (waving at the banners we had up)
Me: "Uh oh. Who ARE you looking for?"
Him: "Isn't this 357 XXXXXXX St? I just came up in the lift and I need to get thru these doors."
Me: "NO. This is 375 XXXXXXX St. You really can't be in here without permission."
Him: "Oh. well, can you let me in? I'll just see if the person I'm looking for is here. I'm sure it was meant to be this building."
Me: "No, you have to leave now. Come on, I'll take you down to the lobby. "

To his credit, he followed me happily enough and got directions to the place he was supposed to be from some security guards who looked very uncomfortable when I explained he had gotten thru so easily. He just walked as if he knew where he was going, carrying a big bunch of flowers and people let him in with no questions. If I'd let him in the final set of doors, he could have sat down at an unattended computer and started accessing the phone records and personal details of half the country.
I didn't even feel comfortable telling him the name of the company call centre he'd wandered into, or explaining the banners because we're not supposed to give our location to the customers - we've had enough bomb threats as it is.

[JustADude]

Just then, a handler comes through straining against a pair of huge dogs. The kind that live up in the mountains and have more fur than a yak, and must have a bear back in their lineage somewhere.

Here's one for ya from Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, talking about Dog, the hellhound:

There are some dogs which, when you meet them, remind you that, despite thousands of years of man-made evolution, every dog is still only two meals away from being a wolf. These dogs advance deliberately, purposefully, the wilderness made flesh, their teeth yellow, their breath astink, while in the distance their owners twitter "He's an old soppy really, just poke him if he's a nuisance," and in the green of their eyes the red campfires of the Pleistocene gleam and flicker. This dog would make even a dog like that slink nonchalantly behind the sofa and pretend to be extremely preoccupied with its rubber bone.

It was already growling, and the growl was a low, rumbling snarl of spring-coiled menace, the sort of growl that starts in the back of one throat and ends up in someone else's.

No, I don't have it memorized. My Google-Fu is strong.