Paint desk = Home decorating

[Knightmare]

Have you seen that commercial where a couple visits an architectural firm, and after being shown the architectural wonders the firm has done, they are asked "So what can I do for you?"
And they plop down a Moen faucet and say "Design a house around this."

A similar thing happened to me the other day. I'm at the paint desk, doing some extremely interesting paper work, when this 30ish woman decked out in diamonds and sapphires and rubies and whatnot approaches the desk. Gucci glasses, designer everything on her. Anyway...

She plops down this God awful ugly pillow and says "Excuse me, I need some help."
*sidenote- Dammit! I just spilled coffee on myself! Hot hot hot!*
I walk over to her and ask how I can help. Here's where it gets fun.

SC: "I'm redecorating my house, and can't figure out the color scheme."
Me: "Okay."
SC: "What I need you to do is pick out 3 colors that match this pillow. The couch, chair and curtains are of this fabric. So I need a color for the walls, an accent color, and one for the trim."
Me: "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I can't do that.
SC: *snobby/snotty* "Why not?"
Me: "Because I'm not a decorator. I can show you the general field of colors, but I won't chose them for you."
SC: "That's ridiculous! Get me a manager!"
Me: *sigh* "Okay. Excuse me while I call him"

I place the call, and he comes over. He approaches the SC and

ZM: "What can I do for you, ma'am?"
SC: "This person won't help me! I simply asked for him to pick out some colors that match this pillow, and he refuses to help!"
ZM: "Is that true, Knightmare?"
Me: "Well, yes and no. She wants me to pick the colors for her. And since I have no idea what the room looks like, and since I have no training in home decorating, I won't do that. But I did tell her that I would show her the general color schemes."
ZM: "Ahh."
SC: "But you work in the paint department. Obviously you know what colors go with one another!"
Me: "Yes, to a certain degree. However, as I said, I have no idea what your room looks like. And probably any decorator will tell you that the size and shape of a room are very important to the colors that go into it."
ZM: "That's true." *Wow. He agreed with me!*
Me: "Ma'am, I'm really not trying to be difficult. I'm just not qualified to do what you want. I'm not a decorator, never have been. If you've seen my house, you'd know what I mean. Everything is neutral."
SC: "So you refuse to help me!"
ZM: "Knightmare's not actually refusing. He's willing to help you narrow it down. I would suggest hiring a decorator. They get paid to pick the colors for you."
SC: "Absolutely ridiculous! I'm taking my business elsewhere!"
Me: "If that's what you prefer."

SC snatches her butt ugly pillow and storms out. ZM looks at me and shrugs.
Me: "If she kept on about it, I would have picked out 3 random colors, just to shut her up."
ZM: "Well, you just can't please some people. I would have hired a decorator, especially when it came to colors that awful."

We both laughed and went on our merry ways.

Granted, the situation could have been handled better. However, she just could not come to grips that I am not a home decorator. I have never seen her house. I haven't seen the room. I don't know what furniture is in there. I don't know the window placements. How high are the ceilings? Are they cathedral? Vaulted?
I have no idea.
Besides, I didn't want to choose the colors and have her upset at me when she didn't like them (after the room was painted, of course).

I'm not a decorator. I don't get paid decorator money. You have rings on your finger worth more than my house. Pay someone that knows what they are doing.

Cheapskate.

[Broomjockey]

But remember, you're not only supposed to be an expert on everything in the store, including everything outside your department, everything that has ever been in the store, and everything that will ever be in the store, but in its proper application in every possible environment!

[Rapscallion]

Er, I don't think you could have handled that any better. She was trying to get a job done on the cheap and would have sued for thousands had she not liked the result. Her hissy fit is her problem.

Rapscallion

[IT Grunt]

She was trying to get a job done on the cheap and would have sued for thousands had she not liked the result.

I agree, that would have been opening up a very large can of worms, and a whole set of liabilities. "They told me it would look just fine, and now my room is ugly and I spent all this money!" I think you were on the money to not touch that one with a 10 foot pole.

[Becks]

What colors were massacred to make that pillow, if I may ask?

[cinema guy]

I really don't think you could have handled that better. You were polite and respectful, told her exactly why you couldn't help and suggested where she should get help.

You coukld have suggested white. Cos white goes with everything.

[XCashier]

SC: "What I need you to do is pick out 3 colors that match this pillow. The couch, chair and curtains are of this fabric. So I need a color for the walls, an accent color, and one for the trim."

"Okay, here you go, ma'am. Bile Yellow for the trim, Fecal Brown for the accent and Gan Green for the walls. Enjoy!"

[mrtauntaun]

Kobayashi Maru Scenario. Even if you did try to pick them out, it would be your fault when the room turns out to be awful anyway.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

SC: "But you work in the paint department. Obviously you know what colors go with one another!"

And she lives on Planet Earth with two functioning eyes. I'm curious what her point is.

People used to tell me all the time to "use my judgement." And used to tell them straight up that I could pretty much guarantee that they would not like my judgement.

[earl colby pottinger]

Never touch a problem you are not being paid to solve.

Er, I don't think you could have handled that any better. She was trying to get a job done on the cheap and would have sued for thousands had she not liked the result. Her hissy fit is her problem.

Rapscallion

Never touch a problem you are not being paid to solve. While my background is in computer tech support, I have been asked to help in all sorts of electrical and electronic problems. It took me a few years to learn (I was young and foolish), but in time I found if you tried to give free help that you were now responsible from every problem that occurs for the rest of your life. And it does not matter if there was a one and a half year gap between the last time you saw them and now. It was never right or never worked right. How they survived the horror they claimed you caused for 1.5 years is never explained, but it is all your fault.

The only cure seems to be hourly charges? It is amazing how many people can fix it themselves or will hire an expert in the field once they can't get free help/blame target.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Ah-wuh? Suing because you think your room is ugly? Because the colors don't complement each other?

That is quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. Me, I would've picked out 3 of the most clashing colors I could think of, like bright yellow, hot pink and sky blue, just to get her out of my face.

Have you seen that commercial where a couple visits an architectural firm, and after being shown the architectural wonders the firm has done, they are asked "So what can I do for you?"
And they plop down a Moen faucet and say "Design a house around this."

Gotta love marketing promising the unrealistic and impossible.

[Boozy]

Gotta love marketing promising the unrealistic and impossible.

I actually kind of like that commercial...IF (and this is a big 'if') people know enough to go to an actual architectural design firm. I'm sure there are some very creative (and very exclusive and expensive) firms out there that would rise to the challenge.

Alas, in our experience, they are more likely to demand that the cashier at Home Depot do it for them. For free.

[Noelegy]

You know, any time I've been around the paint department in Home Depot or similar stores, there are always books and even free brochures (put out by the different paint manufacturers) showing various color schemes. I guess that was too obvious for her...

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Heh--I had one of those customers today. I found her over by the framed, mass-produced art mashing the call button for home textiles. She wanted me to pick out two pictures that would "look good with brown".

WTF!? Decisions like that are best left to your own judgement, or a professional if necessary; not some wage slave who's job is to tell you where the deodorant, microwaves, MP3 players and prophylactics are.

[karma_gypsy]

SC: "But you work in the paint department. Obviously you know what colors go with one another!"

"Would you like a job then? That way, once you're hired, you'll have a wealth of information to tap from . . ."

If she's able to dress herself, position her rings on her fingers in a nice way and put her own makeup on, I'm sure she has an understanding of "what colors go with one another."