I've been trying to forget this incident because of the sheer level of frustration involved.
Last week, a husband and wife came into my department. I am pretty much fully transferred to Electronics now, but I'm still green enough there that I'm not fully comfortable. Add to this the fact that we carry a good 30-40 different printers, and that it's just not possible to know every single one of them in and out.
This couple apparently ran a small business, and a major thing they had to do was produce an 11 page packet/brochure (printed double sided, six sheets total), and they wanted to be able to do this themselves, rather than have our Copy & Print Center do it, or any other professional print shop/service. What they wanted was a machine that would let them drop their master of the packet into the document feeder, push ONE button, and have it automatically make copies of the packet, from the double sided master, and spit out double sided printouts. They also wanted to do this as inexpensively as possible, and it HAD to be in full color.
In other words, thye were asking for the impossible. At least, not possible for us to provide for them. I just wish they they had come right out and told me this, as it would have saved my entire department a great deal of hassle. No home mchine is going to be able to do this. Period. Even the dedicated copiers that we sell (for a lot more money) would be hard pressed to do this, and thye aren't even in color.
This whole incident reminded me of a story I read here a while back about a guy who was trying to run a print-on-demand service, and refused to believe that a regular printer couldn't do a full bleed, and refused to buy a micropress.
When I first asked them if I could help them with anything (famous last words), thye were looking at a low-end HP all-in-one (AIO) printer/scanner/copier/fax.
Me: Duh
EL: Department lead (who I must point out was tired, slightly sick, and was busy doing prep work for the ompending inventory)
Lenny: Unflappable electronics superman.
SW: Sucky Wife
SH: Sucky Husband
Me: Is there anything I can help you with?
SW: Yes. Does this machine print on both sides?
Me: No, it doesn't. But these ones over here do.
SW: Well I like this one. Is there any way it can print on both sides.
Me: Well, I believe HP sells an add-on duplexing unit for this model, so it you wanted to get that you could, but last I checked, those were about $80. For less than that, you could upgrade to a model that prints on both sides out of the box.
SW: OK, so what about copying both sides?
Me: Will this scan both sides? Well, yes, but you have to turn the page over manually. And if you do that, you'll end up with two single sided copies.
SW: But you said it prints on both sides.
Me: Yes, it does. But it can't make two sides COPIES. It's not that sophisticated.
SW: OK, so what about this one? (goes back to the first model that doesn't even print on both sides)
Me: That one can't make two sides printouts, ma'am.
SW: But what if I buy that special adapter? Will it make two sided copies then?
Me: No.
SW: But you said the adapter will let it make two sided prints!
Me: Yes, it will, but....
SW: So it will work?
Me: ...BUT that has nothing to do with the scanner.
SW: You're confusing me. What do you mean?
Me: OK.........all of these machines *gestures across the aisle* are basically two machines stacked together. On the bottom is a printer, and on the top is a scanner. By putting them together this way, you can make printouts from your computer, scan documents and images onto your computer, or make photocopies. Now, the duplexing unit allows the PRINTER portion of the machine to make two sided printouts. However, it doesn't do anything to the scanner portion. It can only scan one side of the paper. So, even with a duplexing printer, you can't make double sided photocopies.
SH: Ok, do any of these do that?
Me: No sir. None of these machines are that sophisticated.
SW: What about this one? (points to a higher end HP officejet) What's that thing on top of it?
Me: That's an auto-document feeder. It....
SW: So that can copy both sides then?
Me: No. That allows you to place multiple sheets into this tray here. It will feed each sheet to the scanner one at a time and scan or copy them.
SW: So that can copy both sides then?
Me: No. Again, none of these machines are that sophisticated.
Yadda yadda yadda. Wash rinse repeat for a FULL FIFTEEN MINUTES more more (it felt a lot longer than that) I just could not get a word in edgewise with these people to try and suggest alternatives for them. Sucky Wife had me on the defensive the whole time, and kept coming back to the same damn two questions. WIll this one make two sided copies? Will the special adapter make it do that? (I really wish I hadn't mentioned the bleeping duplexing unit. We dont' even sell the stupid thing) No matter how I rephrased my response to make it clearer for them, they just didn't (or, more likely, wouldn't) get it.
SW: Is there any here whop knows what they are doing?

Me: EEEE LLLL!!!!!
EL: What's up?
I hurried over to where she was and quickly and quietly filled her in on my SCs
Me: They are asking for the impossible.
EL: Great......
EL: Hi, how can I help?
SW: Does this machine make two sided copies?
I stayed for about two minutes, until finally, blessedly, another customer entered the department and i was able to break away from these morons. I'm sure my Lead was thrilled about being stuck with them, because almost half an hour later she was STILl with them!
It wasn't until Lenny arrived for his shift that she was finally able to get away from them....by foisting them off onto him.
EL: Oh my God......
Me: Tell me about it....
EL: You were right. There isn't a single machine over there that they will consider that will do what they want.
Me: Yeah, I know.
EL: What they NEED to do what they want is a high end copying machine, like what we have in the copy center, but that will cost them thousands of dollars, which they won't spend, and they are just refusing any other option. Lenny's with them now, and he's convinced he can find a solution for them.
Fast forward nearly an hour. They are STILL HERE. They are STILL talking with Lenny. Somehow he managed to sell them a machine. I think an HP K5400, but it's not really important which one it was.
The very next day Sucky Husband was back, with another guy in tow (one of their employees, I guess). They proceeded to rip one of the full time Office Supply Associates (who was filling in at the Service Desk) up one side and down the other about what their needs were, and how this machine didn't fill them. What it came down to this time was that they refused to RTFM. I steered well clear of them. Lenny wound up talking to them for ANOTHER hour, but this time they left with no new machine, just a refund. I haven't seen them back.
In summation: "Denial" is not a river in Egypt; failure to plan on your part does nto constitute an emergency on my part; and I'm sorry but I can't pull a magic machine out of my hind quarters for you.
Oh, and there was a lovely little epilogue where some moron put their returned printer back on the shelf, someone else bought it, then returned it all upset that they had been sold an open box machine instead of a new one.
Last week, a husband and wife came into my department. I am pretty much fully transferred to Electronics now, but I'm still green enough there that I'm not fully comfortable. Add to this the fact that we carry a good 30-40 different printers, and that it's just not possible to know every single one of them in and out.
This couple apparently ran a small business, and a major thing they had to do was produce an 11 page packet/brochure (printed double sided, six sheets total), and they wanted to be able to do this themselves, rather than have our Copy & Print Center do it, or any other professional print shop/service. What they wanted was a machine that would let them drop their master of the packet into the document feeder, push ONE button, and have it automatically make copies of the packet, from the double sided master, and spit out double sided printouts. They also wanted to do this as inexpensively as possible, and it HAD to be in full color.
In other words, thye were asking for the impossible. At least, not possible for us to provide for them. I just wish they they had come right out and told me this, as it would have saved my entire department a great deal of hassle. No home mchine is going to be able to do this. Period. Even the dedicated copiers that we sell (for a lot more money) would be hard pressed to do this, and thye aren't even in color.
This whole incident reminded me of a story I read here a while back about a guy who was trying to run a print-on-demand service, and refused to believe that a regular printer couldn't do a full bleed, and refused to buy a micropress.
When I first asked them if I could help them with anything (famous last words), thye were looking at a low-end HP all-in-one (AIO) printer/scanner/copier/fax.
Me: Duh
EL: Department lead (who I must point out was tired, slightly sick, and was busy doing prep work for the ompending inventory)
Lenny: Unflappable electronics superman.
SW: Sucky Wife
SH: Sucky Husband
Me: Is there anything I can help you with?
SW: Yes. Does this machine print on both sides?
Me: No, it doesn't. But these ones over here do.
SW: Well I like this one. Is there any way it can print on both sides.
Me: Well, I believe HP sells an add-on duplexing unit for this model, so it you wanted to get that you could, but last I checked, those were about $80. For less than that, you could upgrade to a model that prints on both sides out of the box.
SW: OK, so what about copying both sides?
Me: Will this scan both sides? Well, yes, but you have to turn the page over manually. And if you do that, you'll end up with two single sided copies.
SW: But you said it prints on both sides.
Me: Yes, it does. But it can't make two sides COPIES. It's not that sophisticated.
SW: OK, so what about this one? (goes back to the first model that doesn't even print on both sides)
Me: That one can't make two sides printouts, ma'am.
SW: But what if I buy that special adapter? Will it make two sided copies then?
Me: No.
SW: But you said the adapter will let it make two sided prints!
Me: Yes, it will, but....
SW: So it will work?
Me: ...BUT that has nothing to do with the scanner.
SW: You're confusing me. What do you mean?
Me: OK.........all of these machines *gestures across the aisle* are basically two machines stacked together. On the bottom is a printer, and on the top is a scanner. By putting them together this way, you can make printouts from your computer, scan documents and images onto your computer, or make photocopies. Now, the duplexing unit allows the PRINTER portion of the machine to make two sided printouts. However, it doesn't do anything to the scanner portion. It can only scan one side of the paper. So, even with a duplexing printer, you can't make double sided photocopies.
SH: Ok, do any of these do that?
Me: No sir. None of these machines are that sophisticated.
SW: What about this one? (points to a higher end HP officejet) What's that thing on top of it?
Me: That's an auto-document feeder. It....
SW: So that can copy both sides then?
Me: No. That allows you to place multiple sheets into this tray here. It will feed each sheet to the scanner one at a time and scan or copy them.
SW: So that can copy both sides then?
Me: No. Again, none of these machines are that sophisticated.
Yadda yadda yadda. Wash rinse repeat for a FULL FIFTEEN MINUTES more more (it felt a lot longer than that) I just could not get a word in edgewise with these people to try and suggest alternatives for them. Sucky Wife had me on the defensive the whole time, and kept coming back to the same damn two questions. WIll this one make two sided copies? Will the special adapter make it do that? (I really wish I hadn't mentioned the bleeping duplexing unit. We dont' even sell the stupid thing) No matter how I rephrased my response to make it clearer for them, they just didn't (or, more likely, wouldn't) get it.
SW: Is there any here whop knows what they are doing?


Me: EEEE LLLL!!!!!
EL: What's up?
I hurried over to where she was and quickly and quietly filled her in on my SCs
Me: They are asking for the impossible.
EL: Great......
EL: Hi, how can I help?
SW: Does this machine make two sided copies?
I stayed for about two minutes, until finally, blessedly, another customer entered the department and i was able to break away from these morons. I'm sure my Lead was thrilled about being stuck with them, because almost half an hour later she was STILl with them!

It wasn't until Lenny arrived for his shift that she was finally able to get away from them....by foisting them off onto him.
EL: Oh my God......
Me: Tell me about it....
EL: You were right. There isn't a single machine over there that they will consider that will do what they want.
Me: Yeah, I know.
EL: What they NEED to do what they want is a high end copying machine, like what we have in the copy center, but that will cost them thousands of dollars, which they won't spend, and they are just refusing any other option. Lenny's with them now, and he's convinced he can find a solution for them.
Fast forward nearly an hour. They are STILL HERE. They are STILL talking with Lenny. Somehow he managed to sell them a machine. I think an HP K5400, but it's not really important which one it was.
The very next day Sucky Husband was back, with another guy in tow (one of their employees, I guess). They proceeded to rip one of the full time Office Supply Associates (who was filling in at the Service Desk) up one side and down the other about what their needs were, and how this machine didn't fill them. What it came down to this time was that they refused to RTFM. I steered well clear of them. Lenny wound up talking to them for ANOTHER hour, but this time they left with no new machine, just a refund. I haven't seen them back.
In summation: "Denial" is not a river in Egypt; failure to plan on your part does nto constitute an emergency on my part; and I'm sorry but I can't pull a magic machine out of my hind quarters for you.
Oh, and there was a lovely little epilogue where some moron put their returned printer back on the shelf, someone else bought it, then returned it all upset that they had been sold an open box machine instead of a new one.

Comment