Good Boy!

[Dragon_Dreamer]

I came > < close to punching a customer today. Good thing I've mastered the art of smiling falsely while I internally twitch.

He came to my register, about half an hour after his first purchase, where he'd gotten several coupons. First words out of his mouth, in the most patronizing tone, were "Let's play a game, where you help me use all these!"

He proceeded to tell me how to do my job, as I rang. "Now, that is supposed to be <price>... good job!" And when I'd finished, he told me, "Good boy! I will make sure to pray for YOU tonight."

I was ready to respond with, "Bad asshole! Patronize me again, and I will punch YOU in the teeth." However, I only gently pointed out that I am female (though I didn't say it's rather hard to mistake me for anything else), to which he responded with a pitying look.

This is the same guy who held a $20 high above my head last year, expecting me to jump for it. In that case, I only glared levelly til he pouted and put it down.

Ahwell. At least the next customer offered to kick him in the gonads!

[0oAmericanGirl]

What an asshole, I'd hate to imagene how pathetic his life is that he has to treat people at the store like that for entertainment.

Wait until he pays in a check, copy the address and fork his yard!

[Crow The Robot]

Sounds like harassment, talk to your manager, mention all that is happened and how it made you understandably mad. Maybe you can get him banned, if he did these "games" to you he's probably done them to others. Prick.

[SonOfSpam]

Sounds like he's some lonely little douchebag who no one can stand so he has to act like an asshole to people working at department stores to get himself off, and probably because he's a pussy and he knows you can't legally break his jaw. Seriously, I would've knocked him on his ass, whether I was working behind the counter or not

[thegiraffe]

fork his yard!

Does that mean like stick forks in his yard (because that's what I'm picturing)! Omg, that would be so freaking hilarious. I can think of a few people I'd like to do that to.

[Seanette]

Does that mean like stick forks in his yard (because that's what I'm picturing)! Omg, that would be so freaking hilarious. I can think of a few people I'd like to do that to.

I've never heard of this, and am not sure what the effect would be. Would someone be so kind as to fill in that gap in my education?

[Jester]

If you want to mess with someone's yard, but do it both legally and with a sense of humor, might I suggest the fine folks at flamingosurprise.com? I had a good laugh AND got some revenge on a notoriously bitchy sibling on her recent birthday. And everyone got a good laugh out of it, even the sibling in question.

This is also good for messing with friends or having fun with them. Keep in mind, this is only for the U.S., and they don't cover EVERY locale (I was shocked to see I couldn't surprise my friend in Boston of all places), but they do awesome work, and I highly recommend them.

*Jester is not in any way affiliated with, employed by, or financially vested in flamingosurprise.com or any of their associated companies. He is giving them a free plug here just because he thinks they kick some serious ass.*


THREE DAYS UNTIL VACATION!!! (And I won't have to deal with suckass customers for a week!)

[ladodger34]

I've never heard of this, and am not sure what the effect would be. Would someone be so kind as to fill in that gap in my education?

My mom used to stick plastic forks in her flower bed to keep the cats from pooping (loose dirt makes for a nice outdoor litterbox). I doubt this the "forking" that we are speaking of here.

[AFpheonix]

I've heard of loading up someone's yard with political signs during elections before, but not forks....

I suppose you could do the "bad customer, no biscuit!" and rub his nose on the PIN pad while smacking him in the ass with a rolled up newspaper...

[chainedbarista]

I suppose you could do the "bad customer, no biscuit!" and rub his nose on the PIN pad while smacking him in the ass with a rolled up newspaper...

what if that's the treatment he's looking for? i think his circus might be looking for him...

[Banrion]

This is also good for messing with friends or having fun with them. Keep in mind, this is only for the U.S., and they don't cover EVERY locale (I was shocked to see I couldn't surprise my friend in Boston of all places), but they do awesome work, and I highly recommend them.

[

That does look cool. I'm stealthy and near Boston, I can help!

[Becks]

He came to my register, about half an hour after his first purchase, where he'd gotten several coupons. First words out of his mouth, in the most patronizing tone, were "Let's play a game, where you help me use all these!"

He proceeded to tell me how to do my job, as I rang. "Now, that is supposed to be <price>... good job!" And when I'd finished, he told me, "Good boy! I will make sure to pray for YOU tonight."

This is the same guy who held a $20 high above my head last year, expecting me to jump for it. In that case, I only glared levelly til he pouted and put it down.

Ahwell. At least the next customer offered to kick him in the gonads!

Have you complained about him to your supervisors/managers? Has he done similar things to other people, or just you? Either way, I think he should be banned.

Mad props to your next customer though. I would've sighed wistfully and said, "Thanks for the kind offer, but I'll have to say no...this time..."

[Jester]

That does look cool. I'm stealthy and near Boston, I can help!

Really? You have plastic tropical animals handy that you can plant in my friend's lawn? And signs with messages to go with them? Hehehehehhehe...


TWO DAYS TILL VACATION! (1 week without SC's!)

[Imogene]

Piss on his leg!
"Sir, if you're going to treat me like your dog, I'm going to act in the way I feel your dog treats you, now then, where's your carpet so I can poop on it?"

[Boulder_Bear]

Fork the yard!!!

This is where you stick forks(prong side up) all over the yard or in a specific part hoping that they will go out in bare feet or in slippers. Those damn forks are tougher and a lot pointer than you think, when you are walking on them.