A whole field of blooming idiots...and other oddities

[CrazedClerk]

Working in a call centre sure can get wild, here are some of my memorable ones from the past few days.

Format (TM) Gravekeeper.

Fun with letters

- Not an SC, but interesting nonetheless. Lady calls in and claims she got a letter from our company stating that because she is spending so much time roaming OFF our own network that they are going to:

a) cancel her account
b) waive the termination fee
c) credit back all charges on said account.

She read the "letter" word for word to me while on the call. Seems a bit generous to me. It might be legitimate, but if it's a con, it's a darned good one.

Logic problem

SC: I lost my phone! I need a new one
(I notice he got his phone a mere THREE weeks ago)
Me: Well let me see what I can do, you don't have any insurance on it I see...
SC: Yeah I didn't bother to get it. But since that phone was free, if I go back to the store, they should give me another one free right?
(I would have loved to have crushed his hopes and dreams right there but I thought I'd let the store have some fun with him)
Me: Well, you can go back there and see if they can do something for you?
SC: Aight, cool. Thanks man!
Me: (thinking) mwahahahahahaha, I wish I could be there for that one

One charge, two charge, red charge, blue charge

SC: I was charged $150 last month and it was credited back, but I just got my bill and there's a $200 on there!
Me: Well it looks like the $150 was for a deposit that never got returned to you and the $200 is a cancellation fee!
SC: But they were supposed to credit it!
Me: These are separate charges ma'am
SC: But they were supposed to credit it!
Me: They *did* credit the deposit, but the other charge is a cancellation fee.
SC: But they were supposed to credit it!
Me: *sound of head exploding*

We went through a good three times more before she finally gave up.

Phone Provider Almighty

Me: Well it looks like some of the charges are for internet usage on the phone, I can block the internet if you want to make sure there are no future charges for it.
Customer: Well no, I don't think you should do that, she likes to use her computer.
Me: (failing to connect the dots) I beg your pardon, ma'am?
Customer: Well I don't think you should block the internet, she likes to go use her computer to do stuff on the internet
Me: (CLICK! I realize she's thinking that I somehow have the power to cut off her HOME internet service as well on the phone) This would only apply to the phone ma'am, I assure you.

Oh the powers I wish I had...

I say tomato, you hear...banana?

customer calls in due to an astronmical bill, it's because she's over the minutes, bear that in mind.

SC: They were supposed to block text messaging and credit me back for all the messages
Me: Well I see on the past three bills you had extra charges because you went over your minutes
SC: They said they would credit the text messages and the bill wouldn't be so high
Me: None of these charges relate to text messages, you are going over your minutes
SC: I asked my kids about this last month and they said it was high because of the messaging and I called Sprint and they told me they'd take care of it.
Me: Ma'am the bill is high because you went over your MINUTES (and yes I emphasized this word on the call) not because of messaging.
SC: What now?

The Great Grumblini comes to town

Me: Can I have your phone number please?
SC: *grumble* *grumble* 4519
(somehow I actually did get this right)
Me: and your name?
SC: *grumble* Mason *grumble*
Me: Ok and what can I do for you?
SC: *grumble* *grumble* Credit *grumble* charges *grumble* *grumble* last bill *grumble* *grumble* two months ago *grumble* *grumble* *grumble*
Me: (thinking: Translator please!) Uh could you repeat that sir??
SC: *more unintelligible grumbling, though I gather it's something to do with the bill*
Me: Ok let me pull up the bill and have a look
SC: Ok *grumble* CLICK

I wonder what he thinks I said?

Oh the joy of dealing with fools

[Becks]

SC: I lost my phone! I need a new one
(I notice he got his phone a mere THREE weeks ago)
Me: Well let me see what I can do, you don't have any insurance on it I see...
SC: Yeah I didn't bother to get it. But since that phone was free, if I go back to the store, they should give me another one free right?
(I would have loved to have crushed his hopes and dreams right there but I thought I'd let the store have some fun with him)
Me: Well, you can go back there and see if they can do something for you?
SC: Aight, cool. Thanks man!
Me: (thinking) mwahahahahahaha, I wish I could be there for that one

You're evil. I like that.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I say tomato, you hear...banana?

...

SC: What now?

Let's call the whole thing off?

[RichS]

Fun with letters

- Not an SC, but interesting nonetheless. Lady calls in and claims she got a letter from Sprint stating that because she is spending so much time roaming OFF the Sprint network that they are going to:

a) cancel her account
b) waive the ETF
c) credit back all charges on said account.

She read the "letter" word for word to me while on the call. Seems a bit generous to me. It might be legitimate, but if it's a con, it's a darned good one.

Probably not a con, because the same thing happened here.

This happened when I was working as an agent with #1 Cell (Company names changed, of course). The Single (now the phone company) cell phone company shares towers with them. Around the area I'm at, there are only #1 Cell towers, so the middle of last year, Single company sent letters to their customers in this area saying basically the same thing, adding that they would give the unlock code to their phone. From what I was told, it was costing Single company too much to keep their customers on #1 Cell's towers (pay per user).

[CrazedClerk]

Probably not a con, because the same thing happened here.

This happened when I was working as an agent with #1 Cell (Company names changed, of course). The Single (now the phone company) cell phone company shares towers with them. Around the area I'm at, there are only #1 Cell towers, so the middle of last year, Single company sent letters to their customers in this area saying basically the same thing, adding that they would give the unlock code to their phone. From what I was told, it was costing Single company too much to keep their customers on #1 Cell's towers (pay per user).

Yeah I think it was legitimate but it was an unusual call nonetheless.

[Jack7957]

Fun with letters

- Not an SC, but interesting nonetheless. Lady calls in and claims she got a letter from our company stating that because she is spending so much time roaming OFF our own network that they are going to:

a) cancel her account
b) waive the termination fee
c) credit back all charges on said account.

She read the "letter" word for word to me while on the call. Seems a bit generous to me. It might be legitimate, but if it's a con, it's a darned good one.

I don't know if it's legit, but that is one way that some people are saying is the easy way to get out of a cell phone contract.
Abuse the system.