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annnd back to work...
Mockery
Just once I'd like to get through a week without a clerk at the 7/11 telling me "I'm always glad to see you because it means I get to go home soon!".
Its Always the Parkades...
SC: "There's a car in the parking lot with its alarm going off!"
Me: "Unfortunately, that's not considered an emergency. "
SC: "So then what if there's a fire or flood or something?"
Me: "That would be an emergency. Then I would be able to contact the on call property manager."
SC: "Ok, so then say if there was a flood in a suite?"
Me: "There would have to *really* be a flood in a suite."
SC: "Well then what if you do if the list is incomplete or out of date! Wouldn't common sense take over?"
Me: "The list is complete and up to date."
-and my common sense is telling me to drag you down to the shipyards and stuff you into a randomly selected shipping crate. Well, ok, maybe that's just the voices. But I do have full confidence I their judgment. Don't doubt me, I know the security guard's schedule ( The shipyard guards have to check in with us hourly <cough> ). They'd never find you in time. The next time you glimpse the warming light of the sun it'll be shining down on you from behind a pyramid.
Secrets
Me: "and your postal code?"
SC: "That I don't know."
Psst! I'll let you in on a little secret. But only if you promise to tell no one, its very personal and embarrassing…..ready? I don't know what it is either. Wow, eh? Whew, damn, now that I got that off my chest I feel like a great burden has been lifted from my shoulders! I feel free fro-…..wait, damn, you're still on the line, aren't you?
Skytrain Chatter
( I seriously heard this from the pack of girls in front of me... )
Girl 1: "Big guy, about 6'3, blond, wears a kilt."
Girl 2: "Oh, is that the one that does jello wrestling?"
Girl 1: "Yeah."
Wait, what? Wow, downtown Vancouver is more exciting then I thought? Scottish Jello Wrestling? Sign me up!
Surprise, Grandma!
Me: "Good evening, <company> Bathroom-"
Ow: "Hello?"
Me: "Hi."
Ow: "Who's this?"
Me: "<company> Bathroom."
Ow: "Hello?"
SC: "<Some guy comes on the line> Nanna, are you interested in getting a bathtub?"
Ow: "What? No."
Because this is what the elderly enjoy: Surprise 4am conference calls from their grand children to an infomercial line. Who the hell does this? Its one thing to inflict your stupidity on me at 4 am, at least they pay me for it. But dragging your unwilling elderly relatives into it is going above and beyond the call of whatever it is you consider your duty. So just put the phone down and go back to your true calling: Turning beer into pee.
Divine Installation
Me: "Ok, what software are you using?"
SC: "Oh, Jesus."
Somehow I doubt the second coming of Christ will require us to choose a destination directory.
Proposition
<Older female client of ours> offered me breakfast this morning. She did not specify when, where or in what context. I'm a bit afraid to leave the building now.
Air ball
SC: "I booked a room at such and such hotel-"
Me: "Ok, unfortunately I don't have any travel agents in that can assist you yet. They don't arrive until 8am pacific."
SC: "Oh, ok. So anyway, the problem is-"
Did you at least feel the air current when that sailed over your head? I thought I was pitching pretty low there. Any lower and I'd be aiming at your face. Not that I have any problem with that mind you. But I do like to make at least one attempt at gently tossing people a clue before I move on to more drastic measures that may result in facial reconstruction surgery. Still, if you insist...
Was actually pretty quiet last night. I'm hoping the trend continues. =p
Mockery
Just once I'd like to get through a week without a clerk at the 7/11 telling me "I'm always glad to see you because it means I get to go home soon!".
Its Always the Parkades...
SC: "There's a car in the parking lot with its alarm going off!"
Me: "Unfortunately, that's not considered an emergency. "
SC: "So then what if there's a fire or flood or something?"
Me: "That would be an emergency. Then I would be able to contact the on call property manager."
SC: "Ok, so then say if there was a flood in a suite?"
Me: "There would have to *really* be a flood in a suite."
SC: "Well then what if you do if the list is incomplete or out of date! Wouldn't common sense take over?"
Me: "The list is complete and up to date."
-and my common sense is telling me to drag you down to the shipyards and stuff you into a randomly selected shipping crate. Well, ok, maybe that's just the voices. But I do have full confidence I their judgment. Don't doubt me, I know the security guard's schedule ( The shipyard guards have to check in with us hourly <cough> ). They'd never find you in time. The next time you glimpse the warming light of the sun it'll be shining down on you from behind a pyramid.
Secrets
Me: "and your postal code?"
SC: "That I don't know."
Psst! I'll let you in on a little secret. But only if you promise to tell no one, its very personal and embarrassing…..ready? I don't know what it is either. Wow, eh? Whew, damn, now that I got that off my chest I feel like a great burden has been lifted from my shoulders! I feel free fro-…..wait, damn, you're still on the line, aren't you?
Skytrain Chatter
( I seriously heard this from the pack of girls in front of me... )
Girl 1: "Big guy, about 6'3, blond, wears a kilt."
Girl 2: "Oh, is that the one that does jello wrestling?"
Girl 1: "Yeah."
Wait, what? Wow, downtown Vancouver is more exciting then I thought? Scottish Jello Wrestling? Sign me up!
Surprise, Grandma!
Me: "Good evening, <company> Bathroom-"
Ow: "Hello?"
Me: "Hi."
Ow: "Who's this?"
Me: "<company> Bathroom."
Ow: "Hello?"
SC: "<Some guy comes on the line> Nanna, are you interested in getting a bathtub?"
Ow: "What? No."
Because this is what the elderly enjoy: Surprise 4am conference calls from their grand children to an infomercial line. Who the hell does this? Its one thing to inflict your stupidity on me at 4 am, at least they pay me for it. But dragging your unwilling elderly relatives into it is going above and beyond the call of whatever it is you consider your duty. So just put the phone down and go back to your true calling: Turning beer into pee.
Divine Installation
Me: "Ok, what software are you using?"
SC: "Oh, Jesus."
Somehow I doubt the second coming of Christ will require us to choose a destination directory.
Proposition
<Older female client of ours> offered me breakfast this morning. She did not specify when, where or in what context. I'm a bit afraid to leave the building now.
Air ball
SC: "I booked a room at such and such hotel-"
Me: "Ok, unfortunately I don't have any travel agents in that can assist you yet. They don't arrive until 8am pacific."
SC: "Oh, ok. So anyway, the problem is-"
Did you at least feel the air current when that sailed over your head? I thought I was pitching pretty low there. Any lower and I'd be aiming at your face. Not that I have any problem with that mind you. But I do like to make at least one attempt at gently tossing people a clue before I move on to more drastic measures that may result in facial reconstruction surgery. Still, if you insist...
Was actually pretty quiet last night. I'm hoping the trend continues. =p
Has this been said? Has it been explained? WHERE THE HELL DO YOU WORK, anyway? You're a travel agent, no, something to do with security and/or emergencies? Bath...rooms...? This is not a question actually seeking answer, necessarily. I'm just expressing the fact that you seem to be the Jack of All Trades wrapped up in a surly, sarcasm-weilding, night-phone-answering exterior.
)
after all, you know what a 'true' scot wears beneath his kilt, don't you?
(that or he has gas, I'm not quite sure.)
Ahhhhhhh Noo.
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