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Really quiet shift....that being said almost every other call was an idiot too.
867
( After getting his name, number, address, etc )
Me: "Alright, and what would you like to order?"
SC: "I don't know."
Ah, thank you for rendering the last 45 seconds of both of our lives completely irrelevant. Granted, I'm still far ahead of you. I'm sure you've already been occupying this meaningless state for several years. So, while I may join you briefly, rest assured I will be leaving in a moment. Thus leaving you alone in the black, meaningless, vaguely cheddar scented void in which your life dwells.
Objection!
Me: "Good evening, <my company>-"
SC: "Is this Integrated Screens?"
Me: "No, sorry, this is <my company>. I believe you have the wrong number."
SC: "But this is the number they gave me!"
You present a compelling argument, wonder chimp, yet strangely the fact you dialed incorrect has not been altered by your valiant attempt.
Timing
SC: "Someone called me from here. Andrew or Andrea or something."
Me: "This is the afterhours emergency line. Did they call you recently?"
SC: "Yeah, at 4pm."
Considering its currently 12:58am, we seem to have two wildly different concepts of "recent". If I went by your version of it that would place the fall of the Berlin wall somewhere around last Christmas.
A Clue!
Me: "Is there a promo code on the address label?"
SC: "Oh, yes. Let me see…..I can't read it. One minute, I'll go get a magnifying glass."
Me: "…ok"
You do that, Sherlock. Be quick about it too! Pip pip! Scotland Yard can't wait all day!
Out of Bounds
( Ye old embassy emergency line for American citizens in Canada )
SC: "I'm a citizen of Trinidad and-"
Oh! I'm afraid we're going to have to disqualify you. Too bad! But hey, thanks for playing! Don't think we'll let you walk away empty handed though. As a special consolation prize I shall now hum the entirety of "Born in the US" slightly out of key.
Priorities
SC: "Yeah, I paid my bill 3 days ago and it hasn't posted yet!"
Me: "Ok, what time did you pay the bill?"
SC: "It's my mom's phone and she's elderly and disabled! She needs that phone turned back on! Can you go in and post it?"
Me: "Unfortunately I can't speed up the payment process. It has to clear through the banks-"
SC: "This is an emergency! She needs that phone!"
If this phone is, as you say, critical to your "mom's" existence then that begs the question why did you let it be disconnected to begin with? I know if my mom's life was hanging on to a cruel thread of fate being dangled playfully in front of me by Telus I'd sure as hell be paying my bills on time.
Review
Me: "Good morning, <company name> Building Operation"
SC: "Is this Dr Hackles office?"
Me: "No…."
Ok, shut up, sit down, take a deep breath, have a Doctor Pepper and rewind your short term memory by 3 seconds. Now, what was it I said? Do you remember? Right. Now let your mental maw chew on that for a minute or two and tell me what conclusion you come too. Chances are it'll be a rather startling revelation and I fully encourage you to share it with the world if only to stop them from calling me .
<sob>
Ugh! I just had to walk a guy through disabling Firefox ( which isn't compatible with the website installation ) and setting Internet Explorer back to his default browser. I feel dirty.
Alright then
SC: "Can you hold on for just a minute?"
Me: "Sure."
SC: "Ok, one sec......<click>"
I get the sense this is going to be one dreadfully long minute. Perhaps its time to invest a hobby.
Well Wishers
Me: "The office won't be in till 8am. I'm the afterhours service."
SC: "Oh, well you're a lucky guy then!"
Why yes, yes I am. I sincerely hope a starving dingo somehow manages to get its slathering maw down the front of your pants.
Day Two: Complete.
867
( After getting his name, number, address, etc )
Me: "Alright, and what would you like to order?"
SC: "I don't know."
Ah, thank you for rendering the last 45 seconds of both of our lives completely irrelevant. Granted, I'm still far ahead of you. I'm sure you've already been occupying this meaningless state for several years. So, while I may join you briefly, rest assured I will be leaving in a moment. Thus leaving you alone in the black, meaningless, vaguely cheddar scented void in which your life dwells.
Objection!
Me: "Good evening, <my company>-"
SC: "Is this Integrated Screens?"
Me: "No, sorry, this is <my company>. I believe you have the wrong number."
SC: "But this is the number they gave me!"
You present a compelling argument, wonder chimp, yet strangely the fact you dialed incorrect has not been altered by your valiant attempt.
Timing
SC: "Someone called me from here. Andrew or Andrea or something."
Me: "This is the afterhours emergency line. Did they call you recently?"
SC: "Yeah, at 4pm."
Considering its currently 12:58am, we seem to have two wildly different concepts of "recent". If I went by your version of it that would place the fall of the Berlin wall somewhere around last Christmas.
A Clue!
Me: "Is there a promo code on the address label?"
SC: "Oh, yes. Let me see…..I can't read it. One minute, I'll go get a magnifying glass."
Me: "…ok"
You do that, Sherlock. Be quick about it too! Pip pip! Scotland Yard can't wait all day!
Out of Bounds
( Ye old embassy emergency line for American citizens in Canada )
SC: "I'm a citizen of Trinidad and-"
Oh! I'm afraid we're going to have to disqualify you. Too bad! But hey, thanks for playing! Don't think we'll let you walk away empty handed though. As a special consolation prize I shall now hum the entirety of "Born in the US" slightly out of key.
Priorities
SC: "Yeah, I paid my bill 3 days ago and it hasn't posted yet!"
Me: "Ok, what time did you pay the bill?"
SC: "It's my mom's phone and she's elderly and disabled! She needs that phone turned back on! Can you go in and post it?"
Me: "Unfortunately I can't speed up the payment process. It has to clear through the banks-"
SC: "This is an emergency! She needs that phone!"
If this phone is, as you say, critical to your "mom's" existence then that begs the question why did you let it be disconnected to begin with? I know if my mom's life was hanging on to a cruel thread of fate being dangled playfully in front of me by Telus I'd sure as hell be paying my bills on time.
Review
Me: "Good morning, <company name> Building Operation"
SC: "Is this Dr Hackles office?"
Me: "No…."
Ok, shut up, sit down, take a deep breath, have a Doctor Pepper and rewind your short term memory by 3 seconds. Now, what was it I said? Do you remember? Right. Now let your mental maw chew on that for a minute or two and tell me what conclusion you come too. Chances are it'll be a rather startling revelation and I fully encourage you to share it with the world if only to stop them from calling me .
<sob>
Ugh! I just had to walk a guy through disabling Firefox ( which isn't compatible with the website installation ) and setting Internet Explorer back to his default browser. I feel dirty.
Alright then
SC: "Can you hold on for just a minute?"
Me: "Sure."
SC: "Ok, one sec......<click>"
I get the sense this is going to be one dreadfully long minute. Perhaps its time to invest a hobby.
Well Wishers
Me: "The office won't be in till 8am. I'm the afterhours service."
SC: "Oh, well you're a lucky guy then!"
Why yes, yes I am. I sincerely hope a starving dingo somehow manages to get its slathering maw down the front of your pants.
Day Two: Complete.
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