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You maniacs! You blew it up!
Halfway through the day here. Halfway. And already, the level of sucktitude has exceeded critical mass and our system crashed. Not that I'm complaining, I get to tell everyone to call back later because our account management system (and backup system) are down.
Here are the highlights from Saturday and part of today:
SW = Sucky Woman
SM = Sucky Man
ME = If only the phonelines to customer care were also down -_-
Denial
SW: They said I went like 800 minutes over and I would never, ever, possibly do that, ever!
Oh, wow. I guess I can't argue with that logic. We'll just take that off the bill. So, for phantom minutes, I'll send you a phantom refund which you can deposit at the First Phantom Bank of the Phantom Zone. kthxbye
Would you like to buy a clue?
ME: Hi, this is Kara, how can I help you today?
SW: What?
ME: This is Kara with (COMPANY), how can I help you?
SW: ...
ME: Hello?
SW: What?
ME: How. Can. I. Help. You?
SW: Oh, I want to take (X FEATURE) off my account.
ME: Sure, could I just have your mobile phone number?
SW: Yeah, it's XXX-XXX-XXXX.
ME: XXX-XXX-XXXX?
SW: Yeah. No. Wait.
ME: ...
SW: Yeah.
ME: I'm afraid that's not brining me an account.
SW: So is it XXX-XXX-XXXX (the exact same wrong number)
ME: No, I'm afraid that's not it.
SW: Are you sure?
I'm just messing with you. I delight in watching the minutes in my life tick away, lost forever while teasing people about their numbers. It is my one joy in life.
Round 2, FIGHT!
(not the same customer)
ME: Could I have your mobile number please?
SM: My what?
ME: Your mobile phone number.
SM: You want my mobile phone number?
Oh, I'm sorry, time's up. But for playing today, you will be leaving with the home version of the game and a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat!
The little things make me laugh
Not really sucky, but this asian woman's name was pronounced "You hoo." I had to smile at that one.
*twitch*
ME: Could I have your name please?
SW: Uh.....
Like, for sure!
SW: So, like, I like, would like, have like, the same, like, uh, like plan?
Like, you so totally would! Oh my God! That's like, all good or some junk!
Brilliant
SM: I thought I was going to go over my minutes, so I activated a new account with another company, so I want to cancel.
ME: But you aren't going over your minutes. In fact, you still have 800 minutes left and your minutes are going to start over again in 2 days. Did you see that you were over when you checked your minutes?
SM: Oh, I didn't check my minutes, I just thought I was probably going over. That's okay though, I'll just keep the new service and cancel this one.
Yeah, you do that. In the meantime, I'm going to go see my doctor about this relentless twitching in my right eye.
Do as I say, not as I do
SM: I think these phones are sick! They should only be used for emergencies and not as a main line! It's a sad state of affairs that so many people rely on them!
So, did you form that conviction before or after you decided to get a phone and use an average of 1000 minutes a month for 4 years?
Let's make a deal
SW: I need a good deal on a phone. My son broke his last one, and since he had already lost it once before, and broke the one before that, insurance won't cover another replacement.
ME: Well, we can look at our upgrade program to get a new phone.
SW: But I don't want a contract. Can I get a phone without the contract?
ME: Yes, but since the contract is what allows us to discount the price of the phones, you can only get one for the full cost.
SW: Well, it sounds like I'm not going to get a deal.
No, you can get a great deal. But you think that paying me a cancelation fee, then paying to activate with someone else and get a contract with them is a more logical option. Let me know how that works out for you.
Just kidding. I don't really care what happens to you.
Here are the highlights from Saturday and part of today:
SW = Sucky Woman
SM = Sucky Man
ME = If only the phonelines to customer care were also down -_-
Denial
SW: They said I went like 800 minutes over and I would never, ever, possibly do that, ever!
Oh, wow. I guess I can't argue with that logic. We'll just take that off the bill. So, for phantom minutes, I'll send you a phantom refund which you can deposit at the First Phantom Bank of the Phantom Zone. kthxbye
Would you like to buy a clue?
ME: Hi, this is Kara, how can I help you today?
SW: What?
ME: This is Kara with (COMPANY), how can I help you?
SW: ...
ME: Hello?
SW: What?
ME: How. Can. I. Help. You?
SW: Oh, I want to take (X FEATURE) off my account.
ME: Sure, could I just have your mobile phone number?
SW: Yeah, it's XXX-XXX-XXXX.
ME: XXX-XXX-XXXX?
SW: Yeah. No. Wait.
ME: ...
SW: Yeah.
ME: I'm afraid that's not brining me an account.
SW: So is it XXX-XXX-XXXX (the exact same wrong number)
ME: No, I'm afraid that's not it.
SW: Are you sure?
I'm just messing with you. I delight in watching the minutes in my life tick away, lost forever while teasing people about their numbers. It is my one joy in life.
Round 2, FIGHT!
(not the same customer)
ME: Could I have your mobile number please?
SM: My what?
ME: Your mobile phone number.
SM: You want my mobile phone number?
Oh, I'm sorry, time's up. But for playing today, you will be leaving with the home version of the game and a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat!
The little things make me laugh
Not really sucky, but this asian woman's name was pronounced "You hoo." I had to smile at that one.
*twitch*
ME: Could I have your name please?
SW: Uh.....
Like, for sure!
SW: So, like, I like, would like, have like, the same, like, uh, like plan?
Like, you so totally would! Oh my God! That's like, all good or some junk!
Brilliant
SM: I thought I was going to go over my minutes, so I activated a new account with another company, so I want to cancel.
ME: But you aren't going over your minutes. In fact, you still have 800 minutes left and your minutes are going to start over again in 2 days. Did you see that you were over when you checked your minutes?
SM: Oh, I didn't check my minutes, I just thought I was probably going over. That's okay though, I'll just keep the new service and cancel this one.
Yeah, you do that. In the meantime, I'm going to go see my doctor about this relentless twitching in my right eye.
Do as I say, not as I do
SM: I think these phones are sick! They should only be used for emergencies and not as a main line! It's a sad state of affairs that so many people rely on them!
So, did you form that conviction before or after you decided to get a phone and use an average of 1000 minutes a month for 4 years?
Let's make a deal
SW: I need a good deal on a phone. My son broke his last one, and since he had already lost it once before, and broke the one before that, insurance won't cover another replacement.
ME: Well, we can look at our upgrade program to get a new phone.
SW: But I don't want a contract. Can I get a phone without the contract?
ME: Yes, but since the contract is what allows us to discount the price of the phones, you can only get one for the full cost.
SW: Well, it sounds like I'm not going to get a deal.
No, you can get a great deal. But you think that paying me a cancelation fee, then paying to activate with someone else and get a contract with them is a more logical option. Let me know how that works out for you.
Just kidding. I don't really care what happens to you.
Sorry, I can't look up anything.
That's what NO means. Go away.
Post #3700 
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