Announcement

**Bluenomi** · 07-12-2007, 02:04 AM

I love people how get all agro with you for being rude on the phone but are worse themselves! I had one person tell me off for calling before 10am (and I was calling an office, not a house!) and then proceeded to spend the whol call chewing something in my ear. Gross!

**HowMayIHelpMe?** · 07-12-2007, 06:01 PM

I'd like to take a (partially) Devil's Advocate position on this one, if that's ok.

While the guy went about correcting you the wrong way (getting all aggressive and yelling at you), I don't think his complaint was out of line at all. I cannot STAND IT when a stranger calls me and forgets to identify himself first. This is conceivably a generational thing here (I'm 38 but I don't know how old you are), because people my age were always taught from a young age that when you call someone, it's your responsibility to say who you are first before you go asking any questions of a stranger (or anyone, really). I consider it arrogant and rude for someone to call me and demand anything or ask who I am or ask for information of me without first stating who they are and where they're calling from. I'm not sure how this culture got so far downhill, but this used to be a pretty basic tenet of common telephone courtesy. And, as far as I am concerned, this policy needs to come back.

The guy sounds like he was a jerk to you, and for that I'm sorry and you have my total sympathy. And he topped it off by carrying on the way that he did. So you're totally right in that the guy was being a grade-A jerk. But I think his point was on point.

For what it's worth: I would just say that the next time you have to make a call somewhere to a client or customer, just start out normally by first saying who you are and where you're calling from - doing that will probably set a calmer tone in general for everyone. I certainly am in no position to promise you good results on that score, but I definitely can tell you that this has always worked for me.

**Jadedcarguy** · 07-12-2007, 06:16 PM

Quoth DesignFox View Post

I call it playing "Spot the asshole"

You play that too? Sweet!

**Shabo** · 07-12-2007, 06:40 PM

Quoth HowMayIHelpMe? View Post

This is conceivably a generational thing here (I'm 38 but I don't know how old you are), because people my age were always taught from a young age that when you call someone, it's your responsibility to say who you are first before you go asking any questions of a stranger (or anyone, really). I consider it arrogant and rude for someone to call me and demand anything or ask who I am or ask for information of me without first stating who they are and where they're calling from. I'm not sure how this culture got so far downhill, but this used to be a pretty basic tenet of common telephone courtesy. And, as far as I am concerned, this policy needs to come back.

I have never heard anyone (except the occasional telemarketer), no matter what their age, call and identify themselves before asking for someone, especially not if it was a friend of the family. I think that most people don't even notice the difference anymore, and in a day and age where people are more in contact through email and other forms of communication than by face, it's hard to remember proper forms of etiquette. I was not taught to identify myself first, and I'm 22. I don't think this means that society is going downhill, and most people are patient enough to follow one of two scenarios:

Caller: Hi, is so and so there?
Receiver: Yes, may I ask who is calling?
Caller: (Identifies self)
Receiver: One moment please.

or

Caller: Hi, is so and so there?
Receiver: I'm sorry, but they are not. May I take a message?
Caller: (leaves message, doesn't, whatever floats their particular boat.)

However, most people find that they have little things that bug them, and this particular courtesy may irk some more than others. For example, it really irks some people when customers throw change down on the counter rather than place it in their outstretched hands. I personally get rather annoyed when I get asked a lot of stupid questions. One or two is fine, but keep going, and I'm going to stop talking to you. (I'm trying to think of something else that pushes my buttons, but I'm drawing a blank right now...)

The guy from the OP was a jerk though. And doesn't deserve to have a phone.

**HowMayIHelpMe?** · 07-12-2007, 07:30 PM

Quoth Shabo View Post

I think that most people don't even notice the difference anymore, and in a day and age where people are more in contact through email and other forms of communication than by face, it's hard to remember proper forms of etiquette.

This is precisely my point. It's not a good thing that people are finding it hard to remember etiquette. And I'm a guy with loads of patience.

I noticed that both of those examples you drew began the same way:

"Caller: Hi, is so and so there?".

This is not a good tone to set up for a business call of some kind.

A polite way of doing this would be:

"Caller: Hi, my name is ____ and I'm calling from _____. May I please speak with ___?"

I can be patient for a lot of things, but rudeness right off the bat just does not sit well with me. I'd be a lot more receptive to a cold call from some business if people learned some manners.

And you have my agreement that the guy in the OP was a jerk. And I expect that he throws change on the counter, also.

**Shabo** · 07-12-2007, 07:46 PM

Quoth HowMayIHelpMe? View Post

This is precisely my point. It's not a good thing that people are finding it hard to remember etiquette. And I'm a guy with loads of patience.

I noticed that both of those examples you drew began the same way:

"Caller: Hi, is so and so there?".

This is not a good tone to set up for a business call of some kind.

A polite way of doing this would be:

"Caller: Hi, my name is ____ and I'm calling from _____. May I please speak with ___?"

I can be patient for a lot of things, but rudeness right off the bat just does not sit well with me. I'd be a lot more receptive to a cold call from some business if people learned some manners.

And you have my agreement that the guy in the OP was a jerk. And I expect that he throws change on the counter, also.

I'm sorry if my post implied that you don't have a lot of patience. I did not intend that at all. It is just my experience that most people don't particularly find it offensive if you begin the conversation by asking for someone before the introduction, although it usually does score brownie points if you introduce yourself first in a professional call. However, when I hear someone introduce themselves before they ask for someone, I immediately think telemarketer, and am more likely to not pass the phone off to the person they ask for, or to hang up on them. This may just be one thing that irks you more so then it irks others, hence why the courtesy is dying, or it could be that the telemarketers ruined that courtesy for the regular businesses. Who knows?

**Posture Moll** · 07-12-2007, 07:48 PM

I can be patient for a lot of things, but rudeness right off the bat just does not sit well with me

Perhaps I am just another punk kid at the age of 22, but I also fail to see where the terrible offense lies in "Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening. May I please speak to _______?".

However, when I hear someone introduce themselves before they ask for someone, I immediately think telemarketer, and am more likely to not pass the phone off to the person they ask for, or to hang up on them.

Indeed.

**Shabo** · 07-12-2007, 07:52 PM

Perhaps it is a generational thing.

**HowMayIHelpMe?** · 07-12-2007, 09:59 PM

Quoth Posture Moll View Post

[B]
Perhaps I am just another punk kid at the age of 22, but I also fail to see where the terrible offense lies in "Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening. May I please speak to _______?".

The error in your example, I'd say, lies right between "Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening." and
"May I please speak to _______?".

This is where you would put, "My name is _____, and I'm calling from _______."

**HowMayIHelpMe?** · 07-12-2007, 10:07 PM

Quoth Shabo View Post

I'm sorry if my post implied that you don't have a lot of patience. I did not intend that at all.

No worries, my friend.

This is a good discussion. I am learning quite a bit on here.

You give me a lot to think about and reflect upon here. When you said, "However, when I hear someone introduce themselves before they ask for someone, I immediately think telemarketer" that gave me great pause. For instance, why do you immediately think telemarketer? I guess my opinion or contention here is that if we as a common culture in this country (or in the world, as far as this goes) have come to a place where we are expecting only telemarketers to use the telephone in a polite way, then we've certainly fallen down quite a few steps in civility. I think that's a shame. You have a right to expect courtesy on the telephone from everyone, friends and family alike, and not just people who are paid to make a cold phone to you.

**Bliss** · 07-12-2007, 10:07 PM

It's a cultural (including location, age, and current cultural status) difference. there is no natural order rude and polite ways, both are dependant on your environment.

**HowMayIHelpMe?** · 07-12-2007, 10:21 PM

Quoth Bliss View Post

there is no natural order [of] rude and polite ways

Really? Since when?

I like your signature, by the way.

**myswtghst** · 07-12-2007, 10:45 PM

Chiming in on the debate here, if y'all don't mind.

Having worked on the phones for the last two years, and having made A LOT of professional outbound calls, I always use the "Hi, this is *me* calling from *mycompany* may I please speak to *soandso*" on professional calls. I also tend to use "Hi, this is *me*, I'm calling to *do whatever/speak to soandso*" when I call someplace like the doctor's office or to set up a hair appt or something of the like.

When it comes to personal calls, I rarely identify myself, and I usually am calling someone's personal cell, so I know who'll pick up.

I do agree that it is kind of a generational thing, as I'm only 24, but I was taught to introduce myself properly when I make an outbound call at work, and it's kind of rubbed off into my personal phone calls.

**DesignFox** · 07-13-2007, 12:58 AM

To be honest, I don't think the guy's complaint wasn't valid...just the way he yelled at me. And honestly, I would normally identify myself before asking for someone, but the way he said hello to begin with was so rude and gruff, that it just threw me for a loop. And remember...this guy scares me. He's a big bully who I never should have helped the first time he stepped foot in the store. I have done so much for this guy, and gotten nothing but grief from the whole scenario.

And yes, most people in my area, I notice, don't find the need to introduce themselves first, OR if they do, find themselves hung up on!

So, yea...I use my judgment and normally say my name and where I am calling from first...most people excuse the occasional brainfart and don't pitch a fit about it if I mess up and don't. While my introduction was perhaps unprofessional, I certainly don't think that I was rude to the guy...seeing as he perceived rudeness, I did apologize and re-greet him.

I do like this little discussion, though.

I can agree, that I was taught to always identify myself on the phone. I do slip up occasionally, though.

Announcement

More stories of cell phone hell...

More stories of cell phone hell...

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment