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I DO go all over the town, but I don't know streets. I think it's clear when I say "Come down Main to the post office, make a left, and we're across from *hotel*" but people always whimper "What streets? I don't know where the post office is? I'm on 465th West..." ...uh, dunno where that is.
So usually it goes like this.
Person: "Can you tell me how to find *thing*?"
Me: "Nope."
Person: "You're not very helpful, are you??"
Me: "I can tell you how many people died today. Does that help?"
I am the exact same way.
"Oh, very good....Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. 'Ghosts are transparent.'" Severus Snape
Sure, flaunt you big megalopolis numbers at the rural folk. Yes, I know some counties have a big grid anyway, but that number reminds me of Salt Lake City, where a map might call a street 5th St. W. and the sign says 500 West and you wonder if it's just for the addresses on one or the other. Well, at least it's not like some cities where the 300s start at 5th St. instead of 3rd. Hey, if you're not going to use the numbers to make navig easier, how about more creative street names?
Once a coworker asked me to proofread a letter. I immediately pointed out that the address was wrong because I was slightly familiar with the destination city and I knew there was no way its addresses went into the 70000's.
I work at a combo grocery store - gas station on the one road into a big tourist area so I run into these scenarios all the time.
They phone, they come through the door asking for directions, phone numbers, and information regarding other businesses that I have nothing to do with.
I am not a citizen of this country and I have no desire to learn all the ins and outs of the area that I live in. I am there to ring through your groceries and sell you smokes and booze.
I am not a 411 operator.
I am not a mind reader.
I am not an info booth.
Go away.
The customer is always right until I decide he isn't.
I used to work at the front desk of a museum in Queens, NY. The majority of people in NYC use public transportation, we have a very good subway system and it does make the majority of people in at least 3 of the boroughs happy. Queens is different, their public transportation (both buses & subway sucks). So basically I could give you directions to places by train, but not by driving, since I lived in Manhattan, I really didn't even know Queens at all, and much of Queens is very confusing the way they have streets set up.
Anyway, I got to deal with some genius who was driving but had absolutly no clue where he was. He could just give a number, which meant nothing to me. Given that nobody else there drove either, there was nobody to ask. He started yelling at me beacuse not only couldn't I tell him where he was, but I also couldn't tell him how to get to the museum. If he could've told me where he was I would've used mapquest, there wasn't much else to dol.
Another fun thing was when people asked directions to "Grand Central" now there's the Grand Central Parkway, and Grand Central Terminal (trains). If people just ask for "Grand Central" it's a fair assumption that they're talking about the subway one. One time I did give subway directions to GCT, and wound up with an old guy yelling at me that there's no f'in way he's going to take our f'ing dirty, disgusting, dangerous subway. Yeah, in the end he wanted to get to GCP, if he had just asked that I could've told him to begin with.
I tend to get this all the time for a couple of reasons:
- I'm directly in downtown where the portals to almost everything exist
- I'm on the street level of my mall, so everyone who exits and enters comes though here.
- I'm right next to the up escalator and near the elevators and we look like information, I guess, so everyone stops here first.
So we get everything from the simple "Where's the bathroom?" to "Where's Giradeli Square?" I don't live here, I am not the concierge (sp?) and I never leave this store so don't think I know where everything is. I remember one year at christmas when we were very busy I and my co-worker B were helping out customers and while I was ringing someone up B comes over to me. He tells me a customer wants to complain about him. Reluctantly I come up and talk to her and she says that he's very rude and he wouldn't tell her where something was. I just gave her a look like I was going to bust up laughing at her. I told her that we weren't the directory (it's to the left of us with a big sign that says DIRECTORY on it) and that she could ask the concierge if she needed to know where she was going. We're very busy and can't direct people. She called me an idiot and said I had to give her directions. I just stared at her and went to help the 20 other people who were waiting. I hate that people think because we're in the mall that I'm inclined to give them directions and advice on where to eat.
It used to happen to me when I worked at the hospital in Boston. I'd be going between buildings in my white lab coat and tourists would stop and ask me driving directions.
At that time I never drove downtown. Parking was too expensive and driving was slow and difficult, so I took the T and walked everywhere. I could give directions, but wasn't sure which streets were one-way, what the exit numbers on the expressway were, etc.
I'd do my vague best (you want to go that way until you get to the back of South Station, then you want to head North until you see it; I don't know where to park around there) and most folks were polite and understanding.
Sometimes I would get folks who insisted I give them accurate and detailed directions and wouldn't take "no" for an answer. If they were especially insistent in the face of my telling them I didn't know, they would get one of my two smartass answers:
1. OK. Do you see that intersections two lights down? Just go down to that light, pull over, and ask someone there for further directions.
2. Take a left at this light. Then a left at the stop sign. You'll see a parking garage on the right. Park in there. Next you want to walk out of the garage and proceed west on Essex Street. When you get to Washington Street go into the Orange Line station and take the T...
If they became insulting, I'd give them my evil answer. Which was detailed directions onto the Mass Pike so they could get a head start on getting the heck out of my state. It was an added bonus that the Pike is a toll road.
The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.
When I did front-desk reception I'd get asked for directions all the time. Thing is, I am great at getting myself from Point A to Point B, but unbelievably useless at giving directions to anyone else. So, unless the place in question was close enough for me to point out the window and say, "See that over there? Go that way," it was pretty much a crapshoot as to whether you'd end up getting to wherever it is you were going.
Went I first went to University, I had only visited the city once or twice before, and it was in a completely different part of the country. The day after I moved down there I started work (my store lets me transfer between that store and my store at home at Christmas/Summer). My Uni is in a touristy area (Devon) so of course there is lots of tourists asking me things like the best restaurants to go to, best places to take their kids etc. Always had fun saying "Sorry, haven't got a clue, I'm not even sure if I know the way back to my halls, any idea? "
Ugh, people ask me where places are all the time and I usually disappoint them because I actually live in the county over from where I work. I can tell people where the nearest Wal-mart is because I've been asked the question so many times that I finally asked a co-worker where the nearest Wally world was and figured it out.
But I really hate questions like:
"Where's a good place to eat around here?"
"Do you know what sales that Penny's/Belk's is having?"
"Where's the nearest Post office?"
"Where's the nearest Kroger's/Food Lion/weird northern/western grocery store?" - we don't have any of those and people get upset when I tell them that.
"What's playing at the movie theater?"
"How do you get to the beach?"
"Do you know where 'random hotel' is? I forgot where I was staying."
I LIVE in a tourist town. I have been yelled at as I was getting out of my car behind my appartment because somebody wanted to know where to rent a Surrey Cycle. I don't come to your house and yell at you for directions do I?
I've also, when working in town at a retail store, got useless questions like, "Where is the bakery?" Which one? Olsens? Mortensens? Solvang? Danish Mill? Then, of course, they would get pissed at me for not knowing exactly which bakery they wanted.
Finally, my all time favorite was a woman who came in one day when I worked in town and asked, "where do the locals eat?" I was feeling a bit plucky and said, "In their houses."
When I'm at the store where I live, I get people asking which hotel they should stay in. Now, ask me how to *get* to X Inn is fine; in fact, asking me how to get most anywhere here is fine. If you've decided not to eat here and want my suggestion on somewhere else, I know that too. But, especially after I explain that I *live* here and haven't stayed in any of the hotels, don't insist that I tell you which is good!
On the other side, when I'm at a store where I don't live, I get asked directions to all sorts of stores and whatever. OK, I've driven this road a couple thousand times, but only to and from work and occasionally to, say, the mall or Staples. Beyond those, and anything really obvious like the huge, ugly Best Buy, I don't know.
Then there are the ones who missed the turnoff to GA 400 way back in downtown Atlanta without noticing, and want to know how much further it is, or who got their driving directions from some site online that still uses the old exit numbers that were changed seven years ago... I can help them, but they don't like my answers Usually nice about it, though.
Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.
My husband used to work in a sheet metal shop just off Rte 93 in Andover, MA. It was a magnet for directions-askers.
He once unintentionally gave really bad directions to someone who wanted to go to Florida.
He told them how to get to Rte. 95 and go south.
Aftewards he told the story to a co-worker who told him that the guy probably wanted Florida, MA . My husband didn't know that Florida, MA even existed until that moment.
My husband felt pretty bad. Hopefully the guy figured it out before he drove 900 miles to the state of Florida.
The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.
My husband used to work in a sheet metal shop just off Rte 93 in Andover, MA. It was a magnet for directions-askers.
I was magnet for directions any time I was walking around the city with my ex-boyfriend. I'd never get asked directions when walking by myself, but when I was alking with him, we'd get asked at least twice. I guess something about two guys holding hands screams "ask us directions." It used to really annoy my ex.
I felt bad the couple times that I gave the wrong directions. I'd give a detailed set of directions and then five minutes later realize that I had the destination confused with something else and had sent them in the completely wrong direction. I also once pissed off a person that asked me where City Ave was, since she was no where near it, and being in a bit of joking mood, my response was "City Ave? You're not even close. How the hell did you end up here?! I mean, you're a good 5 miles off. And it's not like this a main road that makes it easy to get far away from a destination. You're in the middle of the city. Who the hell gave you directions? You need to fire/break up with whoever gave you those."
I've had people get pissy with me simply because I don't know many of the city neighborhoods. Even though I've lived in Pittsburgh 30 years, the only ones I know are some of downtown and areas where I used to work. What can I say? Why would I even go downtown unless it's to pick up Grandma at the train station, or to park the car for a Pirates game? I mean, we have the same exact stores in the 'burbs, plus our parking is free
I turned the tables on a rude tourist while on vacation about a month ago. I was out for a walk, and some idiot asked me how to get to the beach. Normally, if they're nice about it, I'll point them in the right direction. But, I was feeling a bit that day...and told him to take Sunset Blvd until he hit water. (Sunset is the main road connecting Cape May and Cape May Point, NJ.) BTW one of the favorite destinations down there is Collier's liquor store. Just about *everybody* knows where that is
I guess it's because I don't look like a tourist (no camera around my neck, and no multiple coats of sunscreen) that people ask me for directions. Again, I don't have a problem helping people out if they're nice, but if they aren't...
Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari
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