With friends like mine, who needs SCs? ...but I get them anyway.

[Nox]

Well, now that THAT's out of my system, here are the two lovely incidents from yesterday.

#1: My Best Friend

Just an FYI, my best friend is a guy. I'm a girl. Have to make that clear.

So my SOB best friend wanders into my work place. Me and another girl are on registers. I He smirks and disappears into the depths of Hell/The Store before I can say a word. I'm nervous.

Five minutes later he rocks up at the other girl's till with a basket full of boxes of condoms. There must be a dozen boxes in there. As well as a few other "sexual health" items. My co-worker nearly chokes, cause he's my age (read: nerdy high school boy). He grins at her. The following conversation goes something like this.

SOB = SOB friend
CW = amused collegue
Me=Me

SOB: I have a big night planned, if you know what I mean.
CW: Uh-huh, i kinda figured. (I'm hoping to hell a customer comes to my till. No one does)
SOB: My girlfriend is coming over. For a sleepover. If you know what I mean.
CW: *laughs* That comes to $XXX.XX
SOB: *hands over the money, takes his bags* Thank you very much! And Nox?
Me: Yes, SOB?
SOB: I'll see you tonight.

Then he scurried out before I could get to my knife. Needless to say, it's all anyone can talk about at work. And no one believes that he's just a friend, and it was just a prank.

#2: The Stalker.

A woman came up to the register complaining that a kid was following her around. I called the manager. Turns out the stalker was her own son. He'd been with his father at another store, then decided to find her. She didn't recognise him. And Mother of the Year goes to...

[Acolyte]

I dunno, I think #1 is hilarious. I've actually been planning to pull that prank (or something similar) on a female friend of mine, but it's payback, so...

[blas]

I would have been so embarrassed if that had been me.........I think I would have followed him outside and backhanded him

[MoonChild2007]

oh my goodness! The mother couldn't recognise her own son!

[BlaqueKatt]

Me: Yes, SOB?
SOB: I'll see you tonight.

see me being totally unshakeable in most situations, would've flipped it back on him, with something like "you know my strap on is EXTRA LARGE right?" or "you did get the right size this time so they don't fall off right?"

but then I'm , and have been in the same situation. You have never seen a guy backpedal so fast and admit it was a joke until they hear one of those lines.

[Becks]

I think the first story was funny. Sounds like people I know.

Second story? That just gets a big ol' . Didn't recognize her own child. What? Did the father take him out for a haircut and then slapped new clothes on him or something?

[Imogene]

Sounds like the mother might've not seen her son in quite some time. Perhaps... *is about to stretch for a reason*
She put the son up for adoption, and he was trying to find his real parents? Maybe the fraternal father adopted him. Or they divorced? Father got custody... and Mom's never allowed to see him?

[Shengirl]

Haha, oh, grocery store drama. How I don't miss thee. Actually, a coworker of mine and I were amused to find out that people thought we should get together and that we had a crush on each other, all because we would draw retarded pictures to/of each other on the schedule and visit sometimes. For the record, we both date people who don't work at the store. So, for our own amusement, the friend and I went with it and got a rumor going that we were having a torrid affair.

What sealed the deal on that rumor was pure accident. We went to grab a Frosty Float after work one day, and we ate them in the store parking lot, in my car. The grocery crew was taking a break outside and saw us, so they sent someone over to investigate. He saw us innocently chitchatting and eating ice cream...then must've gone back and made up some heinous story about us being all over each other in the car. Now our torrid affair is "common knowledge." So yeah, I understand how a store rumor mill works, and I feel very sorry for you.

[kibbles]

LOL!!!! Story #1 was both evil and hilarious at the same time! Story #2, she honestly didn't know the child that was following her was her own son??? Did she at least act embarassed when she realized what happened?

[SCSlave]

Story # 1 is great! I definitely would have said something smart back. And I can totally see one of my friends doing that to me.

Story # 2 WTF?!

[Pagan]

Maybe the fraternal father adopted him.

Do what now? Do you mean the biological father? 'Cause I can't quite figure "fraternal father". Sounds like he's his own twin....which sounds like a really bad country song!

[digilight]

You should have just made the comment along the lines of "wow, I didn't know that they sold condems that small outside of a novelty store."

[Kilamon]

Second story? That just gets a big ol' . Didn't recognize her own child. What? Did the father take him out for a haircut and then slapped new clothes on him or something?

Kevin Smith, director for Dogma, Mallrats, Clerks, and other films, wasn't recognized by his mother either. He tells a great story...

[BookstoreEscapee]

Do what now? Do you mean the biological father? 'Cause I can't quite figure "fraternal father". Sounds like he's his own twin....which sounds like a really bad country song!

I'm My Own Grandpa
Lyrics: Dwight Latham, Moe Jaffe
Music: Dwight Latham, Moe Jaffe

Played by Jerry Garcia with David Grisman

Oh, many, many years ago
When I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow
Who was pretty as can be
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her
And soon the two were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life
For my daughter was my mother
'Cause she was my father's wife
To complicate the matter
Though it really brought me joy
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy

This little baby then became
A brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my uncle
Though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle
Then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter
WHo of course is my step-mother

Chorus
I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpa

My father's wife then had a son
Who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild
For he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife
She's my grandmother too

Now if my wife is my grandmother
Then I'm her grandchild
And every time I think of it
It nearly drives me wild
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandma
I am my own grandpa

[chorus]

[Becks]

Kevin Smith, director for Dogma, Mallrats, Clerks, and other films, wasn't recognized by his mother either. He tells a great story...

Thanks for that!!!!!!!!!