How to Prevent being an SC

[Emrld]

Ok - I asked a question in another thread and well haven't gotten much response . . .since the thread is at like 7 pages I thought I should just start a new thread with my question. - so here is what I posted -

Ok Last night I met up with 4 males (I am female) to have a few drinks at a chain establisment that is known for its "Out of this world" Selection of beers.
The waitresses currently wear skimpy little plaid skirts that in some cases would be more of a really wide belt than skirt but that's another story for another day.
Basically the waitress felt I was not worth paying attention to. She would deliver drinks and twice actually bumped my nose from standing behind me and reaching her arm over in front of me to serve one the guys. When she would take orders two of the guys would take turns and directly ask me if I needed anything at the moment . . .because she wouldn't otherwise.
two of the guys left, then I left, I heard from one of the two that were still their that she told them I was cheap as I hadn't really tipped her. Ummm tab was $15 and change I left her $2 so no not 15% but I did tip even with her poor treatment of me.
Now I know how my friends handled the situation (yes, they made me proud). . . .but what are your thoughts? What would you have done in my place? In my friends place?

From people in the Wait/ Service Industry what should one do when being treated like this?

[icmedia]

Well, the fact that you left her nearly 15% tells me that you aren't a Sucky Customer. A SC would have stiffed her or left like $0.23.

I, personally, think that it was bad form of her to comment on your tip to someone at your table. I mean, it's one thing to complain to your coworkers about crappy tips, but to a customer?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I've had this happen once to me, too. I was with one younger man (about 30), and three older men (about 50-60). This was the film crew of the show I was working on at the time (for those of you familiar with Naturescene, it was Rudy, Jim, one cameraman, and one audio tech.). This waitress (who I guess looked in her mid to late thirties), wouldn't even look at me.

I don't remember if I tipped or not. I'm not prone to stiff, even for bad service, but this was beyond bad. It was insulting to the point that we were cracking jokes about it when she wasn't around. I cannot imagine I left a tip, actually. It was some of the worst service I've ever been subject to, and I'm pretty lenient. Probably should have spoken to the manager, but you know, I really don't give that much of a damn about stuff like that. I got my food, more or less, and we just didn't go back again (we were usually stuck in a little town somewhere for a week, and if we found a good place to eat, we went back quite a bit that week. This was not one of those places. ) In all honesty, I can see myself stiffing her in this case. It was that bad and that obvious.

[icmedia]

BTW- (because I don't mean to insult) in some extreme cases it is appropriate to stiff the server, but I was saying that in the situation described in the OP it would have been an SC move to leave nothing.

I used to go to an all-night diner where it was actually a running gag how bad the service was...you could sit there for 2 hours waiting to get served, and we usually ended up just going up to get our own coffee most of the time and yelling our orders back to the kitchen if we were getting food. That was an obvious no-tip situation.

But, if a server basically takes the order, brings your food, and refills your drink(s) at least once, then you should tip a minimum of 10-15%. Most servers make insultingly low hourly wages and depend solely on those tips to survive.

[AirHostess]

Things are a bit different in the UK. Servers get paid at least minimum wage and I believe the average tip is around 10%.

[theredbaron47]

Does anybody know why it's okay in the US to pay waitstaff less than minimum wage?

To the OP: No, you were not a sucky customer at all. You got service, period, you left a tip, period, AND the waitress had the audacity to comment on your "meager" tip to a member of your party! Good call on your part.

[angelicafire]

From how I understand it, if you don't end up making minimum wage per hour with your tips included in your measly $2 or $3 base pay, your employer has to make up the difference.

[digilight]

Honestly I think you handled it much better then I would have. If you're friends had to point blank ask you if you wanted anything then she was a pretty shitty waitress. If she's bumping your nose because of how she positions herself, once I could see, twice = she's a pretty shitty waitress.

She sounds like a pretentious bitch who probably dislikes other women simply because they are women.

Granted it sucks to get a skimpy or no tip. But if you are working in a job that you depend on tips, and make below minimum wage because of the tips, don't you think that you would not be a shitty waitress. I'm probably gonna get my ass handed to me for that one, but I do believe it, the tip is a GRATUITY for good service. Things that the waitress has control over, things such as not being a bitch, actually taking your order, and not ignoring you. A tip shouldn't be automatic just because she brought you a drink, or you had to force her to serve you. If you stiff a waitress due to something outside of her control (speed of food coming out of the kitchen, having to wait for bartender to fix your drink, place is too cold/hot/etc), then you are a SC.

But a Good tip depends on good service, a bad/non tip depends on bad service (due to the waitress only).

I think you were overly generous with her myself.

[Crazeyal]

Whatever problem someone has personally, is supposed to be left at the door when you start work. Simply because we all come here and read horror stories of abusive people is no reason to allow oneself or fellows to be abused. That waitress would be standing alongside her manager, explaining herself if that was me.

There *IS* a point for righteous indignation, and that is when poor service turns into rudeness or abuse. When I *PAY* to get food, I DEMAND that I be acknowledged, spoken to politely, and SERVICED!!! No-one is asking for ass kissing or special attention, but I'll be DAMNED if I let empathy encourage someone to ignore or mistreat me! The food has to be hot/cold/fresh, that also means out in a reasonable time, and the employees should use common courtesy. That is NOT being a SC, it's what you PAY FOR!!!

[JenCdn]

...if you are working in a job that you depend on tips, and make below minimum wage because of the tips, don't you think that you would not be a shitty waitress.

That is NOT being a SC, it's what you PAY FOR!!!

I agree 100%. If the waitress was able to give your friends (sitting at the same table, no less) nice service but not the same level of hospitality to you....that was deliberate. The fact you gave her any tip at all speaks of your maturity. I probably would've left her 2 cents. If that makes me an SC, then so be it. I paid to receive good service. Not to be a witness to it. If I wanted a show I would've gone to a dinner theatre.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I kind of agree. It was probably sucky of me to stiff the woman (if that is what I did, I honestly don't remember). But trust me, she wasn't depending on a tip from me. Her behavior made that abundantly clear.

I do remember trying to be very nice to her. Sometimes, it's best to make sure the other person is the bad guy and that you get to remain guilt free. I know I didn't do anything to make this woman treat me like that. She started with the dirty looks the second I walked in. My order wasn't right, but no matter that, I was hungry. It was edible. I didn't really care. I'd been slogging around a mosquito infested marsh all day with 40 pounds strapped to my back. Whether my sandwitch was turkey or beef hardly mattered.

I was more bewildered than anything else. But like I said, it was really, really obvious and her attitude and service towards me was heinous. If I didn't tip, it was a first and last.

[MystyGlyttyr]

Hell, even as much as I, in general, despise humanity, even I could fake being nice long enough to bring someone a cup of coffee back when I was waitressing. Granted, I would go south really fast the instant there was any hint of snotty tone from the customer (and being at Waffle House, that was constant), but so long as the customer just treated me like a human being, I returned the favor, and I usually got decent tips off it. Not tremendous, but decent.

[Sliceanddice]

if it had been me, i think my tip (and i would have only tipped her about 10% or less...) would have been the ONLY tip she got for our table.... none of my friends would have tipped a woman who was being so rude to me, even if i tipped her.
I would have given her a tip just because she did earn for not screwing up the order and at least being nice to my friends, but thats about all...

[Barefootgirl]

I wouldn't have tipped her, personally. If she couldn't be bothered to even speak to me, why on earth would i bother to tip her?

[wheresmysanity]

I agree 100%. If the waitress was able to give your friends (sitting at the same table, no less) nice service but not the same level of hospitality to you....that was deliberate. The fact you gave her any tip at all speaks of your maturity. I probably would've left her 2 cents. If that makes me an SC, then so be it. I paid to receive good service. Not to be a witness to it. If I wanted a show I would've gone to a dinner theatre.

Agree with all of this 100%. Emrid, you weren't an SC at all. Yes, I know waiters depend heavily on tips and I can appreciate that their jobs are taxing, but I'm not in the habit of tipping a person for being unfriendly (my standards for good service are not impossibly high, either. I barely even need a smile - I just expect service to be prompt, courteous and non-hostile!). I always treat others as I would want to be treated. If one can't meet the bare minimum of ACKNOWLEDGING me, then hell no, you are not getting tipped. So, $2 was generous of you, in my estimation.

Also, as someone else mentioned, your waitress sounded like a typical "I'm-a-woman-who-is-easily-threatened-by-other-women-and-so-I-hate-all-women". There's a reason why she was attending to the men - she probably thought she could milk a better tip from them. I can't stand these types. That sort of absurd behavior demanded a penalty too, if you ask me, so you ought to have given her the finger as you left.