Dumb recruiter....

[XXDarrienX]

I am so annoyed by the constant calls for loan consolidation, I do not know how many times I have to tell them I am still in school yet they continue. I have begun screening calls that have no number I even recognize.

[DarthRetard]

Hate to contribute to thread drift, cause you know, it's very dumb, but....


As someone who's served in our nation's military, and seen how recruiters are treated, I've even had Drill Instructors say they'd rather be doing what they do than be recruiting.

I'm just going to point out that military recruitment, and telemarketing, are two darn well different things.

The things I've seen people say to my recruiter when I was joining, were ridiculous. And for the record, they don't like recruiting either. It's a desk job, and it sucks.

Back on topic, I keep getting rewards cards from Victoria's Secret. Anybody want em if I can find em?

Oh, and P.S. Please mods, (and raps) dont shut down this thread cause I differed from the norm, ok? If i can't speak my mind, it's not very much incentive to post, and i apologize if I come off aggressive.

[Tigress]

I do sympathize with the good recruiters. They get threatened constantly with crappier jobs or deployment if they don't make their numbers. Now, with the distinct possibility of going to Iraq, their jobs are harder than ever because kids don't want to go there. If you don't make numbers in general sales or telemarketing, the worst that can happen is you suddenly have to find another job. In military recruiting, not making numbers could mean you are strapping on a Kevlar vest and updating your will.

The two that tried to recruit me felt HORRIBLE after the government-mandated medical exam put me in the emergency room. They totally understood when I said I wasn't too keen on joining anymore. (Long story short: Never do a Pap smear on a 17-year-old virgin, especially when she screams as soon as you try inserting the equipment. Then, when she starts talking about a lot of pain and being unable to make water, don't stick her in a room for an hour hoping it will go away.)

But the bad recruiters are freaking obnoxious. I've had recruiters totally blow off my reason for not joining and still try to bully me into it. They would call me up to three times a day. Finally, the last straw came when one called me at 6 am, two hours after I had passed out from an all-night study session. My natural personality came out before my diplomatic filter could kick in.

What followed was a very graphic description of what I would do to him if he ever called my number again. Funnily enough, no more recruitment calls.

[draftermatt]

I get tired of job recruiters calling me to get me to hire people. I don't deal with recruiters, I deal with people. If a recruiter sees my ad and calls them to call me, fine. Otherwise, no.

The one time we used one (I wasn't involved) the guy stayed long enough so the agency wouldn't have to give us our money back, and he left. Never again.

As far as military recruiters go. They ignored me in High School. I talked to an Army guy once who said my asthama wouldn't be a problem as long as I wasn't on meds. But in the past year or so the Marines have called my cell phone twice. Claiming I contacted them. I didn't, and I don't know how they got my number. Next time (if there is one) I'll mention the numerous reasons they don't want me (asthma, allergy to latex. Not to mention, good job, family, house, and tree hugging liberal) Just kidding on the last one.

[Imogene]

Just after getting out of the hospital from the major event in my life, I turned 18. All the military calls started flooding in, one day, the call went on thirty minutes, because he wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise. Eventually, I think he asked me if I had any physical problems with the Army? "Besides the fact I just got out of the hospital from a stroke?"
There's a moment of dead silence, and then, "You need to tell us these things when the call starts."

...
I'm sorry, I don't often start a call by saying, "Hi, I had a stroke. How can I help you?" I hate the pity card, personally. And I absolutely hate people asking me about the effects of the stroke. The event in question, I'll answer anything you throw at me, within reason. I can still laugh at myself because of it, as the first thing I asked for help with, once my brother was home, was calling up the DM of the D&D group I was with, to let him know I wouldn't be at the meeting that weekend. (Sorry, drifting again)

[Princess-Snake]

I used to get calls like that too. Everytime the military would call I would say "No." But they would never get the message. Finally, I said, "Do you know what short gut syndrome is?" The guy said no, and I began to give him specific and gory details of my disorder and what IV medications I have to be on as a cause of it, etc, etc. The guy on the other end was very quiet. I could tell he was still on because I heard breathing. Then I heard some sort of scraping noise, another scraping noise, and various sounds that had me convinced the guy was vomitting. After he was done, he weakly thanked me for my time and hung up. I never heard from them again.

[mrtauntaun]

I hear you, they just don't take no for an answer, do they?

Try dealing with the armed forces.

I took the ASVAB, got insanely high marks, and they still haven't left me alone for four years.

I just took the thing to get out of class

I did the same thing my Junior year to get out of Chemistry. I did quite well, except on the automotive part, and I was getting calls at all hours from recruiters. This went on well into the summer, they were calling me at 7 AM. Now as a 17 year old in the summer, I just wanted to sleep in.

Finally, in a spectacular moment short-sighted idiocy, I told a Marine recruiter that I couldn't join. When he asked why, I told him I was a member of the American National Socialist party, and it went against my belief. I have no idea if that's a real party or not, I just made it up so I could go back to sleep. He grew quiet for a moment, said ok, and hung up. Miraculously, the calls stopped.

For years afterwards, I told that story to friends and family, and it always got a chuckle. A few years ago, my company was offering to foot the bill for anyone who wanted to apply for a Federal Security Clearance. I figured why not if it's free.

After filling out the first 50 page application, one of the HR guys at work called me in and asked me if I was really a member of the American National Socialist Party.
When my mouth dropped open, he clarified that it came up in the Clearance process. I told him the story, we had a good laugh, and he wrote down 'NO'

I didn't get the clearance, officially for another reason, but I can't help but wonder if that played some part.

I'm no conspiracy theorist, but lesson learned: Be careful what you say to the feds kids!

[MadRocketScientist]

I recently reconnected with an old friend of mine whom I had not seen in a long time. She asked me to tell her what I've been doing with myself in the decade since we parted company, so I started writing out my adventures for her. She is one of the very few people I know who truly appreciate my snese of humor in its entirety.

So, I sent her the story of how I joined the Navy. She told me she laughed so hard she needed CPR. I don't know if you'll all find this funny, but since we are talking about Military recuiters...

Here goes

I had only one way I knew to escape this dastardly trap I had allowed myself to fall into. I decided to man up and run away. But I had no money, and I was about to lose my driving license (speeding tickets), how was I to afford this bold and daring move? And then, while driving to the Mall to feed myself on yummy samples at the Food Court, I saw my salvation.

US Air Force Recruiting.

I suffered my hunger for delicious Mall droppings and stopped in at the office. They were nice, they were friendly, they looked good in uniform, they had cool pictures of neat fighter planes on the walls. I like fighter planes on the wall. Being able to work on one, or even fly one, in real life would be even cooler! I was home. I wanted to be in the Air Force. So they looked at my ASVAB and ACT scores from High School and were, of course, impressed.

"Lets get you signed up, put your name here, sign here, oh, and have you ever been in trouble with the law?", they queried.

"Well sure, some speeding tickets, nothing major.", I replied.

"Anything else?"

"Well this one time," I admitted sheepishly, "at Band Camp (Oops, hehe, wrong story), I got caught with pot at school and got expelled."

"Really, hrmm, that MIGHT be a problem. Why don't you write out 20 pages about what happened and why, sign it, get it notarized, and come back with 2 personal references and a signed statement by God that you are a good person and we'll see what we can do for you."

So I go off on my quest to write the essay and get the references, and I return a few days later. They look over what I brought them.

"Hrrmmm, yes, ok, hmmm. Well, everything looks good, except you forgot the signed statement from God."

"Wait, WHAT! You were serious about that?! How am I supposed to get a letter from God?"

"Well, if you are a good person of faith, you should have no trouble.", they said

"Sorry, I can't do that.", I admitted.

They sighed, "Well, we are afraid we can't accept you into the Air Force."

WHAT?! I did something remarkably stupid at the sage-wisdom age of 14 and you can't accept me without an affidavit from God!? What a bunch of self important crotch jockeys!

:-P

So I left, rejected, dejected, and not a little pissed off and bitter. I looked around.

US Army Recruiting. They have airplanes, right? Yeah, like 6 of them, and a buttload of helicopters. Of course, your chances of getting to play with one is slim, and you'd have to do infantry things. Nope, not for me.

US Marines Corps. Just like the Army, only worse!

US Navy. Hrmm, they got planes, and some really cool ships too. That is a possibility. Let's see what they have to say. So I walk over to their door.

I walk in and open with, "Hi Navy guys. I was just over at the Air Force recruiting office and apparently my shit stinks, and they have a problem with that. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Yes?"

"You have a problem with my shit stinking?"

"That? Probably not, but we are kinda hurt you went to the Air Force first."

"Seriously? But I like planes, they got planes, really sexy ones!"

"So do we, ever see Top Gun?"

"Of course, but they have lots of planes."

"We have more."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Oh, I never knew."

"Our feelings are still hurt."

"Huh? What? Oh, yeah, I am sorry for going to the Air Force first, I was ill informed."

"That's better. Let's see, how bad does your shit stink?", they parried. SNIFF SNIFF "Naw, those Air Force wimps are too used to air freshener. You would not even be mildly offense to most Navy men."

"So I can join up?", I asked expectedly.

"Sure. When do you want to leave?"

"Today is good"

"April is our first opening"

"April is good."

Then I slowly realized, I'm gonna have to move home for a bit. Oh, the shame.

So our hero, his head hanging in shame, moved home and girded himself for 4-5 months of living, once again, with his mother. But WAIT! Don't yet weep for our hero, for good news follows fast.

It seems the Navy is also impressed with out hero's ASVAB and ACT scores, and is aware of his desire to begin his adventure. They send him to MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Center) to be poked and prodded. Then, the magic phone call happened.

RING! RING!

Me: "Hello?"

The Voice: "Mr. Shane Gillis?"

Me: "Speaking"

The Voice: "This is Petty Officer Made-of-Awesome (POMOA) over at MEPS, and we were looking over your shit, and while it does stink somewhat, we noticed it has good form and texture and you have a talent or two were really need (Yea, I know, enough with the poo humor, but ya know what, you're a mom with three boys, deal with it). So, we got a guy here at final processing who is a bit too chubby to be going to boot camp right now, so we're gonna sideline him and that means we need a body to fill his contract."

Me: "Sounds good, what was his contract for?"

POMOA: "Four yeas as a Gas Turbine Systems Technician, Mechanical."

ME: "When does it leave?"

POMOA: "48 hours"

Me: "Can I call you back?"

POMOA: "Sure"

Hrmm, need to do research, what the hell is a Gas Turbine, DAMN! The internet is not popular yet, there is no way to look this up! Let's see, call Uncle who was in the Air Force. Oh, a gas turbine is a jet engine, COOL!

RING! RING!

POMOA: "This is Petty Officer Made-of-Awesome, how can I be awesome for you today?"

Me: "Gas Turbines sound cool, how do I get to MEPS for final physical?"

POMOA: "Go to the Fondy recruiter office tomorrow, they'll get you to MEPS."

Me: Great! You are made of awesome!"

POMOA: "I know. Welcome to the Navy"

[Misanthropical]

I took my happy and broke 19 year old self over the Navy and asked about signing up. They told me they needed paperwork from my doctor from a surgery I had years before, to tell them that it wouldn't interfer in my serving. I get the paper and they told me that even with the paper, they couldn't accept me. WTF?

I took myself over the Marines and asked if they had a problem with it and they said no and I took their tests. I was told I scored the highest they ever seen, could I sign the papers? I told them I would come back to sign.

Well, the first gulf war broke out! WHOA! They start calling over and over again to get me to come in sign the papers. I finally lied and told them I was pregnant.

[draftermatt]

I took my happy and broke 19 year old self over the Navy... they couldn't accept me. WTF?
I took myself over the Marines and asked if they had a problem with it and they said no

Wait, the Navy had a problem with medical that the Marines didn't?

Wow, I think my brain just fell out.