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You'd feel better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer!

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  • You'd feel better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer!

    And so I decided to take a page from the book of Kevin Smith and put it to good use.

    For those that read my thread about things not to do while I work, you'd remember I made a comment about stacking the garbage on top of the cans.

    So we decide to bypass that by taking trash bags into the theatres to clean them and collect the trash of those comming out. Cue curtain!

    C: Clueless
    Me: Mr. snarky

    C is walking down the stairs and walks near me to get to the trash bag in my hand.

    C: <points at the bag in my hand> Is that a trash bag?

    Me: No, it's a portal to the nether region.

    C just stares at me, deposits her garbage and moves on.

    SC-0, Me-1
    Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

    Christopher Titus.

  • #2
    I like it, but be careful. All you have to do is find one SC with no sense of humour and they can become hellbent on getting you fired.

    Comment


    • #3
      Boy, I wish we could do that. Part of our monthly mystery shop criteria is that when the customers come out, no bags or cleaning materials must be in sight.

      Nice retort, BTW.
      "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth cinema guy View Post
        Boy, I wish we could do that. Part of our monthly mystery shop criteria is that when the customers come out, no bags or cleaning materials must be in sight.
        One must, after all, maintain the illusion that little flying pixies clean the theatres. We can't let the customers know that flying trash pixies are no more real than Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. Then they wouldn't celebrate Trash Pixie Day with the proper fervour.

        Of course, there's also their sacred habits that worship the Trash Pixies. Throwing cigarette butts out of car windows. Leaving litter in shopping carts. Disposing of their empty coffee cups by putting them on bookshelves in a bookstore.

        The Trash Pixies must be worshipped!
        Seshat's self-help guide:
        1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
        2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
        3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
        4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

        "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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        • #5
          Quoth Seshat View Post
          Disposing of their empty coffee cups by putting them on bookshelves in a bookstore.



          Sorry, bad reaction. Flashbacks... I'm all better now.


          The Trash Pixies must be worshipped!
          I don't go in for ancient wisdom
          I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
          It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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          • #6
            Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
            Sorry, bad reaction. Flashbacks... I'm all better now.
            Take a deep breath.

            One must, after all, maintain the illusion that little flying pixies clean the theatres
            "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

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            • #7
              With my store's laid back environment and the way i make customers feel comfortable, I'm able to tease and joke with them most of the time. It's usually easy to tell when I can't.

              Comment


              • #8
                I think even if our store and customers were that laid back, I still wouldn't be able to talk like that, since I hard speak a word anyway. XD

                ..hmm, I've the sudden urge to turn a Bag of Devouring into a trash bag for the next D&D.
                "IT stands away, interrupting himself from the incessant hammering of the kittens…"

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                • #9
                  I discovered I could be politely scathing to passengers

                  That job really bought out my worst qualities.
                  No longer a flight atttendant!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth cinema guy View Post
                    Boy, I wish we could do that. Part of our monthly mystery shop criteria is that when the customers come out, no bags or cleaning materials must be in sight.

                    Nice retort, BTW.
                    That's insane!! At the theatre I worked at, 3 mins before the credits rolled, we would take in 2 rolling 55 gallon trash barrels, and place one at the bottom of each staircase (stadum seating). Then, if we were well staffed, one person went around picking up cups, popcorn bags, and the 100000000 extra napkins stuffed in the cupholders while #2 used a push broom to push all the crap on the floor to the end of the aisle, and #3 used a butler to get the piles up. 3 people could clean the messiest possible 400 seat theatre in about 4 minutes. As long as there was no puke to clean up. Puke incidents were 10 mins min due to having to get a manager to retrieve the biohazard kit, and the disinfectant from the kit had to sit for 3 mins. More often than not, we were done cleaning before the credits were even over.
                    The only words you said that I understood were "His", "Phone" and "Ya'll". The other 2 paragraphs worth was about as intelligible as a drunken Teletubby barkin' come on's at a Hooter's waitress.

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                    • #11
                      We can usually be done before the credits end, but only if no customers are watching them. We have to hold the doors open for the customers and say thank you and goodbye to them. No cleaning until they are all out.
                      "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        So how much do you movie folks

                        1. hate people like me, that often stay for part or all of the credits?
                        2. hate the trend in movies to put a scene in at the end of the credits, thus causing more people to stick around for all the credits?

                        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                        Still A Customer."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Seshat View Post
                          Disposing of their empty coffee cups by putting them on bookshelves in a bookstore.

                          Wha? Bu...coffee stains on books...must not kill...

                          Why, God, why? Books are sacred!!!!! If I ever caught anyone doing that at my local Borders the employees would find them strangled and stuffed into a bathroom stall.


                          (I'm one of those people who, when it rains, instead of putting my books over my head to protect my hairdo, I put them under my coat to protect the covers. I worhsip books.)
                          Because as we all know, on the Internet all men are men, all women are men and all children are FBI agents.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Jester View Post
                            So how much do you movie folks
                            1. hate people like me, that often stay for part or all of the credits?
                            Doesn't bother me, if you don't mind me cleaning behind you, or on the other level. (we had 2 levels in our theatres stadium seating up top, and regular seating down front.) Most people who do want to stay for the credits, actually still stand up and walk down to the large center aisle as it is much easier to actually read the credits from there than it is from way up in the stadium seats. On top of that, people who stay for credits without the expectation of an end scene are cool about us working around them. I never had anyone complain about that.

                            Quoth Jester View Post
                            2. hate the trend in movies to put a scene in at the end of the credits, thus causing more people to stick around for all the credits?
                            We can't clean around an entire theatre of people waiting to see some ridiculously dumb end clip, it makes our jobs tougher as we have a much tighter turn around on the theatre, but that's life and we work around the inconveniences.
                            The only words you said that I understood were "His", "Phone" and "Ya'll". The other 2 paragraphs worth was about as intelligible as a drunken Teletubby barkin' come on's at a Hooter's waitress.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth solidmetalgear19 View Post
                              And so I decided to take a page from the book of Kevin Smith and put it to good use.
                              I realized last night that Kevin Smith wasn't just ragging on customers in the Clerks films. Pay very close attention to Randall, particularly in the beginning of the second movie/trailer... He just waltzes right into a burning store! He's freaking clueless, which makes me think Mr. Smith isn't terribly happy about either side of the counter.
                              "I call murder on that!"

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