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  • #1

    Ms. Generic Smart Aleck

    I meant to post this the other day as part of another thread, but forgot. Thought you folks might enjoy this.

    Now, overall this lady wasn't so bad, but there was some suck to the whole thing. You'll see what I mean.

    JESTER: "What can I get you folks to drink?"
    (Others at table order drinks.)
    MS. GENERIC: "Liquid."
    JESTER: "Any particular flavor of liquid?"

    Everyone, including Ms. Generic, laughed. Moments later, I set down everyone's drink, naming them off as I do, and then....

    JESTER: "And here's your 'liquid'."

    Everyone laughed, as they saw me make my point. And then I went to take their order. Everyone ordered, and then.....

    JESTER: "And what would you like?"
    MS. GENERIC: "Food."
    JESTER: "How appropriate for the one who ordered 'liquid.'"

    Finally I got her order out of her. Eventually everyone got their food. Ms. Generic made some smart alecky comment about something, and was vaguely amusing.

    JESTER: "You don't get out much, do you?"
    MS. GENERIC: "No, they don't let me out much."
    JESTER: "I think I see why."
    MS. GENERIC: "Hey, just remember who's leaving the tip, pal." (Told you there was some suck involved.)
    JESTER'S UNSPOKEN THOUGHT: "The bitch who ordered liquid and food?"
    JESTER: "Darlin', it's not always about money. Sometimes it's just about pure entertainment value."

    In the end she was alright, and they left a good tip, and everyone had fun. But also, I think, a lesson was learned.

    See, you may be a smart aleck, and may think you're clever. But darlin', I am the Lord High Emperor of Smart Asses. Stand back and watch me work, sister! Can I get a witness? Amen!


    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is     Still A Customer."
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Ordering food and drink in a bar. So simple, even a cave(wo)man can do it!

    Mike
    Meow.........

    Comment

    • #3
      Quoth JustaCashier View Post
      Ordering food and drink in a bar. So simple, even a cave(wo)man can do it!

      Mike
      Thag want meat! Meat burnt in fire!...

      ... Medium rare. Fries, no coleslaw. Thag no like coleslaw.
      Check out my webcomic!

      Comment

      • #4
        Cavemen are a more highly evolved life form than tourons, actually. I would welcome them into my establishment readily over tourons any day of the week.

        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is         Still A Customer."

        Comment

        • #5
          It was mildly funny the first time. After that it probably wasn't. And if she's smart alecy, she should expect it in return.

          And Jester is the king of the snappy comebacks. All hail the King!
          "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth cinema guy View Post
            And Jester is the king of the snappy comebacks. All hail the King!
            (snootily)Ahem. That's High Lord Emperor, peasant. THANK you! Hmph!





            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is             Still A Customer."

            Comment

            • #7
              Quoth Jester View Post
              That's High Lord Emperor, peasant.
              He didn't go to eight years of High Lord Emperor School to be called 'King', thank-yew-verah-much.
              Last edited by Imogene; 08-21-2007, 05:46 PM. Reason: More reasons for Elvis
              "I call murder on that!"

              Comment

              • #8
                My apologies, my Lord.
                "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth Polenicus View Post
                  Thag want meat! Meat burnt in fire!...

                  ... Medium rare. Fries, no coleslaw. Thag no like coleslaw.


                  Swordsman and I just pissed ourselves reading that.
                  Check out my cosplay social group!
                  http://customerssuck.com/board/group.php?groupid=18

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth Jester View Post
                    I am the Lord High Emperor of Smart Asses.


                    Quoth Jester View Post
                    Can I get a witness?
                    Of course you can, but I can't be it. I've used up my allotment of identities from the Witness Protection Program.
                    Unseen but seeing
                    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                    3rd shift needs love, too
                    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth Jester View Post
                      JESTER: "You don't get out much, do you?"
                      MS. GENERIC: "No, they don't let me out much."
                      JESTER: "I think I see why."
                      MS. GENERIC: "Hey, just remember who's leaving the tip, pal." (Told you there was some suck involved.)
                      JESTER'S UNSPOKEN THOUGHT: "The bitch who ordered liquid and food?"
                      JESTER: "Darlin', it's not always about money. Sometimes it's just about pure entertainment value."
                      Touche there, barkeep. It is very obvious that she doesn't get out often. She's clearly a social retard. Interaction with other humans is not her forte. She probably paid her "friends" to sit with her.
                      This area is left blank for a reason.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Quoth Jester View Post
                        Cavemen are a more highly evolved life form than tourons, actually. I would welcome them into my establishment readily over tourons any day of the week.
                        Are Neanderthals welcome?
                        Stig would like some "rabbit 'n bittles." We like the ...ummm...crunchy sauce very much.

                        Cookies for identifying.

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                        • #13
                          I challenge you for your title Jester. We shall throw down at dawn.
                          Every Time I help a customer, I feel dirty inside.

                          Also cold and wet.

                          Sticky, too.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Quoth Jester View Post

                            In the end she was alright, and they left a good tip, and everyone had fun. But also, I think, a lesson was learned.
                            And that lesson is: don't fuck with the person who's handling your 'liquid/food'. #1 rule of dining out.
                            ~~ Every politician that opens their mouth on birth control only proves that we need more of it. ~~

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Quoth EclipseDragon986 View Post
                              I challenge you for your title Jester. We shall throw down at dawn.
                              You're more than welcome to try. But please make sure you notify your next of kin beforehand.

                              "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is                               Still A Customer."

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