You might be an SC if...

[Boozy]

My wine store is located inside a grocery store. The wine store closes at 9 pm, the grocery store at 10 pm.

Here's the scenario:

You walk into the building at 8:45 pm. You are a regular at both stores, and know exactly when both stores close. Do you:

a) Do the reasonable and polite thing and grab your wine first, and then take your time getting your groceries in the extra hour that follows,

or

b) Do your grocery shopping first, and then rush into the wine store at 8:58 with a shit-eating grin and comment about how you "just made it, ha ha"?

If you picked option B, you might be an SC.

[Imogene]

You might be an SC if you've ever:
Ordered pink camo sweaters over the phone, in XXL.
Left frozen foods you decided you didn't want in the cereal aisle.
Asked a movie store employee if they sold furniture.
Ever attacked a furniture store employee, twice, and taken him to court for protecting his life.
Ever guzzled a jug of malt vinegar.

[Becks]

MIGHT be, nothing.

If you're an obvious ass about it, you ARE.

[Tito]

You might be a SC:

If you ever dropped a box of cookies all over the floor in the in the bakery department, look around, & walk away.
If you decided you did not want a bottle of ketchup, & crammed it into one of the freezers in the frozen food department.
If you come waltzing into the store at 8:58 (stores closes at 9:00), & get all upset when the workers are not absolutely thrilled to see you.
If you act like it's the fault of the store employee that the lottery machine is out of order.
If you accidently knock over a display of cat food in the pet food aisle, & in a snobbish tone of voice yell to the nearest store employee 'I got a clean up for you!'

[AirHostess]

You might be a stupid passenger if:

You let your children run amok.
You make a mess on the plane and the area around your seat is damp and full of mashed up Pringles etc
You don't acknowledge the flight attendants.
You don't follow flight attendants instructions.
You get drunk onboard.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

• If you called three stores to ask if they had a certain item, asked their prices on that item, asked all 3 stores to hold it for you, and bought the item from the store with the cheapest price...you might be a SC
• If you did number 2 in the toilet, then fished it out of the toilet and drew on the bathroom stall walls with it... you might be a SC. You might also be seriously fucked up in the head. Also, you are most definitely piggish
• If you buy a 27-inch TV or other large furniture item, and drive up in a Geo Metro to pick it up...you might be an SC.
• If you summon an employee to help you by whistling or snapping your fingers...you might be a SC
• If you make a complaint against an employee because he/she let slip a swear word under their breath because the heavy item they were trying to load up for you slipped and crushed and pinched their hand and fingers...you might be a SC (It's called being a human being, you'd probably do the same if it happened to you)
• If you make a complaint against an employee because he/she dared to say "excuse me" so they could get through with a cart of merchandise...you might be a SC

[BookstoreEscapee]

• If you take 30 magazines into the cafe, leave them all over the table, chairs and floor, and spill coffee all over them...
• If you leave your half-full coffee cup on the unstable pile of books you were looking at next to the comfy chairs...
• If you bring in your dripping Burger King soda cup and leave it half full on a shelf so it can get the books wet (2 nights in a row?)...
• If you spill your coffee all over the floor and just leave it there...
• If you take a copy of every travel guide to whatever country you are fantasizing about visiting, leaving nothing for the customers who actually are planning a trip, and spend hours at a table looking through them, and then leave them there when you are done...
• If you yell at the cashier because your card was declined...
• If you yell at the employee because the book your kid needs for school tomorrow is not in stock because all the other kids in the class got there first...
• If you leave sex books in the children's department...
• If you think the best place for a make out session is the sex section...
• If you sprawl on the floor blocking the aisle and refuse to move when you see people coming and force them to climb over you...
• If you are knocking on the door at 8:52am...
• If you are still browsing at 11:01pm...

[Broomjockey]

You might be an SC if:
* If you show up 20 minutes late for the newest blockbuster movie on opening weekend, and refuse to believe it's sold out
* If you drop your young child off to see a movie by themselves, and you then blame the usher for your child not showing up at the appointed time, and then when the child is found in another movie, unharmed, tell your child in front of that usher that he didn't care the child was lost
* If you mention you can buy a VCR or DVD player for the cost of your tickets
* If you scoop out a kilo of candy at the bulk station, dig your hand around in it, and then freak at the price when you get to the till

[JustaCashier]

• You expect special discounts and/or bending/breaking of policy because of the "Thousands" of dollars you've spent with us for X number of years, especially when there are dozens of other customers that have spent more and been shopping here alot longer that don't expect that.
• You call out to me, from about 10 or 15 feet away, and without so much as an "Excuse me", asking me if all the items on that shelf are 40% off, just as I'm greeting another customer that's actually at my register, thereby interupting me from doing so. (Bet ya woulda been pissed if I hadn't realized you were talking to me!) I state that I don't know, I'd have to read the sale sign you're reading that from. You then walk away, and when I finish with my customer, I check the sign out, and it clearly states, in a suitable font size, that it is for one particular item only.
• You get all huffy at the delay and inconvenience YOU are being caused, when your credit/debit card on which the magnetic strips looks like you took a mill bastard file to it, you bastard, doesn't read in our system, and we have to input it by hand, including getting an approval code though a back up system.
• You get offended when we ask for ID, when you are paying by check or credit card.
• You get offended when we DON'T ask for ID, when you are paying by check or credit card.

Mike

[earl colby pottinger]

There is no might, I know you are a sucky

There is no might, I know you are a sucky customer.

I live in Whitby, Ontario, Canada just south of the intersection of Thickson and Highway #2. On the South-East and South-West of the intersection are two 24 Hour supermarkets. Both have wine stores that close by 8:00PM (11:00PM just before Christmas and the like).

One block East of the intersection is a Beer Store, half a block North of the intersection is a LCBO.

Yet, I know you are sucky because I am in one of the supermarkets at 3:00AM getting more munchies and pop to go with the SciFi channel marathon and you are shaking the cage demanding when they will open up. Also demand the night staff open it up and sell you something that is not even part of their store's inventory.

[Boozy]

Yet, I know you are sucky because I am in one of the supermarkets at 3:00AM getting more munchies and pop to go with the SciFi channel marathon and you are shaking the cage demanding when they will open up. Also demand the night staff open it up and sell you something that is not even part of their store's inventory.

I always wondered what SCs did after I went home for the night and they need to get drunk BADLY.

Now I know.

[powerboy]

You might be an SC:

• If when we do hold an item for longer, then the policy. And you do not buy it.
• When you bitch, that we do not have the product, you wanted. Not our fault, if you always come in, but never buy it.
• If you think that The Customer Is Always Right.

[mattm04]

• it is our fault that your credit card/debit/food stamps account wont work.
• you DEMAND that I bake a fresh loaf of Italian bread at 8:58 PM wnen I close at 9. You don't listen to me when i tell you that it takes about an hour to proof and 25 min to bake and package.
• BONUS POINTS: you ask me to say late to make you bread when you can just put one off the the shelf in the microwave for a few seconds
• You will only talk to/ask a manager a question, who will then ask me fror the asnwer if it is related to a product in stock/cost question.
• You yell and scream when I help people i the order i get them and don't tell the two people in line to move so i can serve you

[raven_illusion]

• If you think the best place for a make out session is the sex section...

One better...
You think the best place for a make-out session is the children's dept...

Sad to say I witnessed this in a Library years ago....

[Retail Associate]

You might be an SC if...

• ...you demand the sale price on a bra the day after the sale has ended because you "couldn't get to the store" the entire week it was on sale and "it's UNFAIR" that when you finally did drag your ass in during the final hours of the sale we were out of stock. Ever hear of a raincheck, idiot? Ya shoulda asked for one while the sale was still in progress.

• ...you are told we cannot replace the f*****g battery in your f*****g watch because we don't have the proper tool to put your f*****g watch back together once the f*****g new battery is in place...and you decide you "have all the time in the world and are a patient fellow" and will do it yourself...then spend the next 45 f*****g minutes wasting my time because you are trying to put your f*****g watch back together with our improper tool...then finally leave with your f*****g watch in pieces in a little baggie. Serves you right asshole! Next time listen...IT WON'T WORK!!!

• ...you complain to the manager that I am "chatting on my cell phone and not helping customers" when in actuality, I'm on the STORE'S phone helping a CUSTOMER.

• ...you scream "false advertising" because you found a white polo shirt on clearance for $9.99 and a DIFFERENT white polo shirt for $12.99 that you want for $9.99 just because. Extra SC points when your stinking wife starts screaming, too! I don't get paid enough for this s**t.

• ...you ask where an item is and I tell you I don't know but will find out for you...you then throw a fit and bellow "YOU DON'T KNOW? FORGET IT THEN!"

• ...you spend a half hour asking to see every damn ring in the jewelry cases then walk away without buying anything saying, "I'm going to check at <another store>."

• ...you are told that our store policy has changed and we can no longer replace batteries in watches we don't sell...so you grab the watch from my hand, march over to the nearest manager, lie to her that I was "very rude" and then talk that manager into replacing the battery in your watch even though corporate says "no more."

• ...you are too important to wait for someone to come unlock the fitting room door so you just pull on it hard enough to break it off the hinges.


This all happened the past 4 days. I'm sure there's more but I've blocked it out!


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