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I haven't posted in awhile but I've accumulated some lovely stories to tell you about. Enjoy! 
M = Moi
SC = self explanatory
Sup = My supervisor
"Race" relations, Part 1
M: What can I do for you today?
SC: My bill is too high you put all these charges on that aren't supposed to be there!
M: ok let me take a look through here
(I research the bill, and SURPRISE! valid charges)
M: Well I don't see any billing errors here ma'am, all these charges are valid
SC: There is NO WAY I used that many minutes, you are adding minutes to my bill!
M: I assure we are not padding your bill ma'am
SC: Oh I know how this works, you don't like us latino people do you, you think we're taking your jobs and screwing you so you now you try and screw us.
M: Actually ma'am I'm Canadian, I have no issues with Latino people whatsoever
SC: It doesn't matter! I talk to all my friends and <my company> is screwing them on the billing too. why is it only latinos?
M: Ma'am I can assure you <my company> does not discriminate against our Latino customers.
SC: Oh sure right, then why is this bill so high? Are you going to credit me.
M: No ma'am, the charges are valid.
SC: Fine, then I'm cancelling this whole account!
(quick side note here, this particular comment is the call center equivalent of "I'm never shopping here again")
The eloquent talker
M: Can I get your cell phone number starting with area code please?
SC: You people are f---ing ripping me off!
(and a good day to you too sir...jackass)
M: Ok and why is that?
SC: You sent me a f--ing bill, I paid the g----n bill and now you say I owe you money again! B----t!
M: Well I see there's been three bills sent to you and you've only paid one.
SC: Wrong as----le! I've only been sent ONE f---ing bill and I paid it!
M: Sir there are THREE bills (gives amounts) and you paid two
SC: No sh--twad, there was one bill, what the f--k do I owe you for again?
M: Well sir I see you paid July and August, the remaining charges are advance billing for September
SC: What the f--k is that! It's still august sh---wad! I'm not paying this god---n bill!
M: Sir, please stop swearing.
SC: Get me you f---ing manager!
gladly....
M: (to sup) Hey I have a badass sup call here.
Sup: (laughing) badass?
M: Yeah, badass. Trust me.
Sup: Ok... (gets on call) My name is Chris I'm a Supervisor here you asked to speak with me??
(Sup's eyes go wide)
Sup: Ok, just calm down for a minute........sir, stop swearing.
End result of call: he cancelled his f---ing account.
"Race" relations, part 2
I can't remember the call blow for blow but this guy was totally freaking out about how we were disrespecting black americans and how everything was a prejudice deal and we were ripping him off and anyone of his color. He wasn't cursing up a storm, just going on and on about discrimination and us being unfair to him and other blacks, etc.
But the real gem of this guy were his account notes: There were filled with records of calls where he'd gone on racist rants with the reps. There were also notes indicating he's had to be forcibly removed from our corporate stores TWICE. in one instance he called a phone rep while refusing to leave and when the police arrived, he handed the phone to the cop and told the cop to talk to the phone rep and force our company to do what he wanted
Chalk outlines in the city
This was just one of those calls that make you go "damn!" , with a bit of suck factor.
Cust: Yeah I suspended that line a couple of days ago. See what happened, I opened that line for a friend and he got murdered like a week later...they robbed him too and the phone was taken.
Me:
(take a moment to compose myself) Uhh, I'm sorry to hear that, are you wanting to cancel the account?
Cust: Nah I want to keep the line, but like, you know I was charged for the whole month and he was killed on the 15th, do I have to pay for that?
(told you there was suck factor...technically yes he should have to pay, but...)
Me: Well, I tell you what. If you are going to keep the line, I'll offer you a credit for the days your friend um, was not able to use the phone.
Cust: Thanks man, things have been so messed up around here lately...
(you don't say...)
Now this guy was pretty nice and sincere (I know he couldn've been lying to me but I don't think he was, he sounded pretty distraught about his friend) so I figured I'd help him out, it was only $27 and it felt to me like the right thing to do. Not exactly policy, but this was not exactly an everyday circumstance.
Captain America Avenges!
Me: Can I get the cell phone number please?
SC: (in obvious foreign accent, this will be ironic later) Where are you located?
Me: I am located in Canada sir.
SC: Canada?! Why is an American company hiring people in Canada?? All day I am calling an AMERICAN company and I get people from India, the Phillippines, South America and now Canada!
Me: Sir, if I could --
SC: Your company is bad! You take jobs away from hardworking americans, what makes you think you have the right to take jobs from americans, my friends are broke because of people like you! You think you are so much better than us up there!
Me: I didn't take anything from anyone sir, it was not my decision to hire Canadians
SC: What is your name your majesty?
Me: My name is Steve (and what is yours, O royal douchebag?)
SC: For 53 years I have lived in America, I have been an American. When I call an American company I want to talk to Americans!
Me: Sir do you have--
SC: I am not finished! Listen Mr. Canadian, I want you to connect me to an AMERICAN manager of this major AMERICAN company.
Me: I don't have anyway to transfer you to america
SC: Impossible! This is an american company, I want an american manager. You people think you can take everything from us. No no no! Connect me to an American company. I don't want to talk to stupid Canadians anymore.
Me: Sir, if you continue to disrespect me, I WILL disconnect this call.
SC: You will NOT disconnect me! See this is what I mean, I would not get treated this way by an AMERICAN. You will not disconnect me, you WILL connect me to an American manager and.........
At this point I took off my headset and placed it down on the desk. I was getting nowhere with this guy,a Canadian sup would get nowhere either so rather than be bothered, I just took off the headset and let him rant on until he hung up. We are allowed to do this but only in circumstances where the customer refuses all assistance.
Veiled threats?
I got to play Sup on this call since I was team leading and can take escalations.
Me: My name is Steve, I'm a Supervisor on the floor here, you asked to speak with me?
SC: Yeah, here's what's going on. This number has been continually calling my girlfriend and harassing her. This person has even made death threats against her! Now you listen man, I NEED that number, I need to know who's been calling!
Me: Well sir, we can't reveal unbilled information due to FCC regulations. If I may ask have you been to the police?
SC: Yeah we talked to the police this morning! They said we had to call you and get the number that's been threatening us before they can do anything.
Me: We are dealing with an incoming call here, my system does not allow me to see numbers that call into the phone, only outgoing. Even if no policy prevented me from giving the number, the system still would. Information of that nature can only be given to law enforcement officials who contact our company.
SC: Look man! I have a POLICE report! They told me to get the number from you, did you not hear me??? This man has THREATENED my woman's life and now I am going through all this crap trying to protect her. I swear to god, if anything happens to her I'm going to come to <my company> and hunt you all down!
(I see threats are the order of the day now as I've just had a veiled one made against me...)
Me: Believe me sir, protection of our customers is EXTREMELY important to us. If the police told you to contact us, you need to get in touch with our security department. They are the only ones who can provide you with what you need (Gives info)
Now the guy was really agitated on this call so I didn't do anything with regards to his apparent threat (he doesn't know where our center is anyway) but it still put a bit of a scare in to me.
Steve the Marriage killer?
I get a call today from a guy. What happened was my company took a payment for an account belonging to a female friend of his even though that account was not supposed to be used anymore. He calls in wanting his money back. As I am working through, the female friend (who was conferenced in on the call) made this comment:
"You better take that account off there! If my husband discovers another man's bank information on my account...well, we're all gonna end up in court!"
(cue studio audience OOOOOOH! recording)
So anyway because the payment was associated with this account, I had to create a refund request using that same account. Typically when a refund request is approved, the refund check is sent to the ADDRESS ON THE ACCOUNT. Even though I put in CAPS that this particular check is to go to someone else, I got to thinking if someone in refunds didn't pay attention and simply sent the check off to the account address and this woman's husband gets a check in the mail in ANOTHER MAN'S name...well, let's just say that'd be one Judge Judy I wouldn't want to miss!
I felt bad, but really, it was the woman who put herself in a rough spot to begin with, using someone else's accont (which you are really not supposed to do anyway), so I won't shed any tears on this one.
Oh how I love a job full of suckiness! :P
M = Moi
SC = self explanatory
Sup = My supervisor
"Race" relations, Part 1
M: What can I do for you today?
SC: My bill is too high you put all these charges on that aren't supposed to be there!
M: ok let me take a look through here
(I research the bill, and SURPRISE! valid charges)
M: Well I don't see any billing errors here ma'am, all these charges are valid
SC: There is NO WAY I used that many minutes, you are adding minutes to my bill!
M: I assure we are not padding your bill ma'am
SC: Oh I know how this works, you don't like us latino people do you, you think we're taking your jobs and screwing you so you now you try and screw us.
M: Actually ma'am I'm Canadian, I have no issues with Latino people whatsoever
SC: It doesn't matter! I talk to all my friends and <my company> is screwing them on the billing too. why is it only latinos?
M: Ma'am I can assure you <my company> does not discriminate against our Latino customers.
SC: Oh sure right, then why is this bill so high? Are you going to credit me.
M: No ma'am, the charges are valid.
SC: Fine, then I'm cancelling this whole account!
(quick side note here, this particular comment is the call center equivalent of "I'm never shopping here again")
The eloquent talker
M: Can I get your cell phone number starting with area code please?
SC: You people are f---ing ripping me off!
(and a good day to you too sir...jackass)
M: Ok and why is that?
SC: You sent me a f--ing bill, I paid the g----n bill and now you say I owe you money again! B----t!
M: Well I see there's been three bills sent to you and you've only paid one.
SC: Wrong as----le! I've only been sent ONE f---ing bill and I paid it!
M: Sir there are THREE bills (gives amounts) and you paid two
SC: No sh--twad, there was one bill, what the f--k do I owe you for again?
M: Well sir I see you paid July and August, the remaining charges are advance billing for September
SC: What the f--k is that! It's still august sh---wad! I'm not paying this god---n bill!
M: Sir, please stop swearing.
SC: Get me you f---ing manager!
gladly....
M: (to sup) Hey I have a badass sup call here.
Sup: (laughing) badass?
M: Yeah, badass. Trust me.
Sup: Ok... (gets on call) My name is Chris I'm a Supervisor here you asked to speak with me??
(Sup's eyes go wide)
Sup: Ok, just calm down for a minute........sir, stop swearing.
End result of call: he cancelled his f---ing account.
"Race" relations, part 2
I can't remember the call blow for blow but this guy was totally freaking out about how we were disrespecting black americans and how everything was a prejudice deal and we were ripping him off and anyone of his color. He wasn't cursing up a storm, just going on and on about discrimination and us being unfair to him and other blacks, etc.
But the real gem of this guy were his account notes: There were filled with records of calls where he'd gone on racist rants with the reps. There were also notes indicating he's had to be forcibly removed from our corporate stores TWICE. in one instance he called a phone rep while refusing to leave and when the police arrived, he handed the phone to the cop and told the cop to talk to the phone rep and force our company to do what he wanted
Chalk outlines in the city
This was just one of those calls that make you go "damn!" , with a bit of suck factor.
Cust: Yeah I suspended that line a couple of days ago. See what happened, I opened that line for a friend and he got murdered like a week later...they robbed him too and the phone was taken.
Me:
(take a moment to compose myself) Uhh, I'm sorry to hear that, are you wanting to cancel the account?Cust: Nah I want to keep the line, but like, you know I was charged for the whole month and he was killed on the 15th, do I have to pay for that?
(told you there was suck factor...technically yes he should have to pay, but...)
Me: Well, I tell you what. If you are going to keep the line, I'll offer you a credit for the days your friend um, was not able to use the phone.
Cust: Thanks man, things have been so messed up around here lately...
(you don't say...)
Now this guy was pretty nice and sincere (I know he couldn've been lying to me but I don't think he was, he sounded pretty distraught about his friend) so I figured I'd help him out, it was only $27 and it felt to me like the right thing to do. Not exactly policy, but this was not exactly an everyday circumstance.
Captain America Avenges!
Me: Can I get the cell phone number please?
SC: (in obvious foreign accent, this will be ironic later) Where are you located?
Me: I am located in Canada sir.
SC: Canada?! Why is an American company hiring people in Canada?? All day I am calling an AMERICAN company and I get people from India, the Phillippines, South America and now Canada!
Me: Sir, if I could --
SC: Your company is bad! You take jobs away from hardworking americans, what makes you think you have the right to take jobs from americans, my friends are broke because of people like you! You think you are so much better than us up there!
Me: I didn't take anything from anyone sir, it was not my decision to hire Canadians
SC: What is your name your majesty?
Me: My name is Steve (and what is yours, O royal douchebag?)
SC: For 53 years I have lived in America, I have been an American. When I call an American company I want to talk to Americans!
Me: Sir do you have--
SC: I am not finished! Listen Mr. Canadian, I want you to connect me to an AMERICAN manager of this major AMERICAN company.
Me: I don't have anyway to transfer you to america
SC: Impossible! This is an american company, I want an american manager. You people think you can take everything from us. No no no! Connect me to an American company. I don't want to talk to stupid Canadians anymore.
Me: Sir, if you continue to disrespect me, I WILL disconnect this call.
SC: You will NOT disconnect me! See this is what I mean, I would not get treated this way by an AMERICAN. You will not disconnect me, you WILL connect me to an American manager and.........
At this point I took off my headset and placed it down on the desk. I was getting nowhere with this guy,a Canadian sup would get nowhere either so rather than be bothered, I just took off the headset and let him rant on until he hung up. We are allowed to do this but only in circumstances where the customer refuses all assistance.
Veiled threats?
I got to play Sup on this call since I was team leading and can take escalations.
Me: My name is Steve, I'm a Supervisor on the floor here, you asked to speak with me?
SC: Yeah, here's what's going on. This number has been continually calling my girlfriend and harassing her. This person has even made death threats against her! Now you listen man, I NEED that number, I need to know who's been calling!
Me: Well sir, we can't reveal unbilled information due to FCC regulations. If I may ask have you been to the police?
SC: Yeah we talked to the police this morning! They said we had to call you and get the number that's been threatening us before they can do anything.
Me: We are dealing with an incoming call here, my system does not allow me to see numbers that call into the phone, only outgoing. Even if no policy prevented me from giving the number, the system still would. Information of that nature can only be given to law enforcement officials who contact our company.
SC: Look man! I have a POLICE report! They told me to get the number from you, did you not hear me??? This man has THREATENED my woman's life and now I am going through all this crap trying to protect her. I swear to god, if anything happens to her I'm going to come to <my company> and hunt you all down!
(I see threats are the order of the day now as I've just had a veiled one made against me...)
Me: Believe me sir, protection of our customers is EXTREMELY important to us. If the police told you to contact us, you need to get in touch with our security department. They are the only ones who can provide you with what you need (Gives info)
Now the guy was really agitated on this call so I didn't do anything with regards to his apparent threat (he doesn't know where our center is anyway) but it still put a bit of a scare in to me.
Steve the Marriage killer?
I get a call today from a guy. What happened was my company took a payment for an account belonging to a female friend of his even though that account was not supposed to be used anymore. He calls in wanting his money back. As I am working through, the female friend (who was conferenced in on the call) made this comment:
"You better take that account off there! If my husband discovers another man's bank information on my account...well, we're all gonna end up in court!"
(cue studio audience OOOOOOH! recording)
So anyway because the payment was associated with this account, I had to create a refund request using that same account. Typically when a refund request is approved, the refund check is sent to the ADDRESS ON THE ACCOUNT. Even though I put in CAPS that this particular check is to go to someone else, I got to thinking if someone in refunds didn't pay attention and simply sent the check off to the account address and this woman's husband gets a check in the mail in ANOTHER MAN'S name...well, let's just say that'd be one Judge Judy I wouldn't want to miss!
I felt bad, but really, it was the woman who put herself in a rough spot to begin with, using someone else's accont (which you are really not supposed to do anyway), so I won't shed any tears on this one.
Oh how I love a job full of suckiness! :P
I AM the evil bastard!
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