A coworker told me about this right before I left work today. This is Labor Day weekend, and we are closed on Saturday and Monday(Sunday too, but that's normal). About a quarter to 5, coworker R picked up a call. Some of this is paraphrased, since I didn't take the call, but the text in red is what R told me this douchenozzle actually said. Behold the suck:
R: Coworker
DMB: Do My Bidding!
R: <on phone> Parts, can I help you?
DMB: Yeah, I need a door handle for my 98 Chevy Silverado.
R: OK, what color is the interior?
DMB: Grey.
R: No problem we stock both left and right sides. They're about $40.
DMB: OK, I'll be in in the morning to pick that up.
R: I'm sorry sir, we are closed tomorrow and Monday for Labor Day.
DMB: That's unacceptable.
R: Beg pardon?
DMB: I need this part. One of you will have to come in so that I can pick it up.
R: I'm afraid not, sir. We will not be open again until Tuesday.
DMB: No, you're not hearing me. I need this part. Be there or I will report you. Me thinking: <to who?>
R: Sir, come down if you like, but no one will be here. WE. ARE. CLOSED. FOR. THE. HOLIDAY. Thank you for calling. Good day. <click>
Parts normally opens at 8AM. I was going to sleep in tomorrow, but I might just drive down there at 7:45 and wait in my car to watch this self-righteous prick bloody his fists on our door. On second thought, I'm sleeping in.
Good God, man! It's a door handle! The truck will run without it! It can wait!
R: Coworker
DMB: Do My Bidding!
R: <on phone> Parts, can I help you?
DMB: Yeah, I need a door handle for my 98 Chevy Silverado.
R: OK, what color is the interior?
DMB: Grey.
R: No problem we stock both left and right sides. They're about $40.
DMB: OK, I'll be in in the morning to pick that up.
R: I'm sorry sir, we are closed tomorrow and Monday for Labor Day.
DMB: That's unacceptable.
R: Beg pardon?

DMB: I need this part. One of you will have to come in so that I can pick it up.
R: I'm afraid not, sir. We will not be open again until Tuesday.
DMB: No, you're not hearing me. I need this part. Be there or I will report you. Me thinking: <to who?>
R: Sir, come down if you like, but no one will be here. WE. ARE. CLOSED. FOR. THE. HOLIDAY. Thank you for calling. Good day. <click>
Parts normally opens at 8AM. I was going to sleep in tomorrow, but I might just drive down there at 7:45 and wait in my car to watch this self-righteous prick bloody his fists on our door. On second thought, I'm sleeping in.

Good God, man! It's a door handle! The truck will run without it! It can wait!
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