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Saturday was a short shift... Get in shoot a few sessions and I'm out. Simple right?
Nope.. Busy as fuck and I'm run off my feet when I have a passport customer come in. The usual schpiel is to have the customer take off his/her glasses, any shiny jewellery and if there's any shininess on their face, to powder them with a light matte finish powder.
Simple right?
She gets up onto the chair and sits and I tell her to take off her glasses. "No!" she shrieks at me in a strident sharp accent. "I wear my grasses! I can wear my grasses if I want to!"
"Ummm no, you can't." I show her the framed poster beside the chair that states all the rules. No glasses, no shiny jewellery, no white shirts, no black shirts... Yes they're that stupid picky.
"I wear dem I wear dem if I want! It says so in my application!" *head-desk*
"I'm not shooting the passport, unless you take off your glasses."
"Harumph... Fine! But I can wear my grasses if I want to!"
So she finally takes off her damned glasses and we shoot the photo, and I cut it, stamp it. She pays for it... "I no like the picture. You take it again. I wear my grasses!"
"There's nothing wrong with the photo m'am. If you want me to take another photo it will cost you $11.95 plus tax."
She storms off, but not before screaming at me about how all her other passports she was allowed to wear her glasses.
About 30-50 minutes later she comes back and butts in front of the line while I'm shooting other passports. "I can wear my grasses! I ask other photographer! I can wear my grasses! You take photo again now!"
"You are not allowed to wear your glasses. I have that posted for a reason, ma'm. Why do you think I'm lying to you!? What possible reason would I have for lying to you? There'd be no point in it and I'd be losing a sale." I say, exasperated.
"No I don't think you lying to me! I wear my grasses!"
"Look, if you wear the glasses it creates glare. They don't want glare. If any kind. They are very VERY picky and will not accept photos with glasses!!"
The family of passports are staring at this woman like she has 3 heads, the other customers in line are getting impatient and start yelling at her.
"I'm in a hurry lady! She's trying to do her job. If she says you can't wear glasses. You can't wear glasses! I have places to fucking be okay? So just take your damned photos and go away!"
She starts yelling back. "I no leaving until I get picture with my grasses! I saw dis on dah internet! Dah INTERNET! It was on dah internet!" she shrieks.
"Yes, and I got that poster from PASSPORT CANADA! PASS-PORT CAH-NAH-DAH! Look. If I shoot the photo again with your glasses on and show you the glare and why they won't take it, will you then leave?"
She glares at me indignant. "Yes.. You show me!"
I smile tightly, I'm shaking at this point, but I remain calm, cool, and cheerful as fuck. "Okay well m'am. These customers are ahead of you so if you'll just wait a moment and I'll cut and stamp their passports so they can be on their way."
So I stamp and cut their passports and they're gone. I take passport lady from hell and shoot the photo. There's two white blobs of light on her glasses where her eyes should be. I show her.
"See? That's why I can't take it with your glasses on."
"But all my other passports..."
Oh god not this again.
"That is why I can't take it with your glasses on, they won't take it. It will get REJECTED!"
She stomps out and leaves. About 20 minutes later, I'm on the phone trying to track down the phone number for the passport office, and trying to phone another studio, except it won't dial out... There's somebody on the other line.
"Hello?"
"Herrow? Dis the portrait studio? I get my passport done der and I no like it! I have passport done before with grasses! I want my grasses!"
*Oh sweet jesus* This is now bordering on harassment.
"M'am I took your photos. Remember? I sat you in that chair and I showed you why you can't wear your glasses. YOU CAN'T WEAR YOUR GLASSES!!"
"All my other passports had glasses!"
"When. Were. The. Photos. Taken." I say slowwwwwwwwwwwly.
"It don't matter! All my other-"
"Yes. It. Does. It does matter. Because the rules have changed. You cannot have glasses on in a passport photo. I've told you this. I've told you this countless times. Where and WHEN did you have those photos taken?"
"Calgary. 1992."
Oh sweet jesus...
"You cannot have your glasses on in your photo, m'am. I'm sorry."
"I bring the photos in. I show you. Der's no glare. I take photo with grasses on and I won't pay."
"You can bring in the photos m'am but you can't have your passport photo done again. It reflects poorly on my studio to have photos taken and rejected. I can't knowingly take photos to have them rejected, just to make you happy."
"I bring in photos. I have my grasses on. There no glare."
"Are they the same glasses you're wearing now?"
"No. Dat don't mattah."
"Yes... It does matter."
"I bring photos in. What time you open til?"
"8..." Please sweet lord, please let her come in when Jemma's in... PLEASE!
*click*
Jemma phones and says she's going to be 30 minutes late... I don't get the message because I'm in the middle of a session, and then SHE shows up. Self-satisfied glare on her cat-butt face.
"See photos! All with grasses!"
"If I shoot a photo with your glasses on. Will you go away?!" I'm through being nice with this woman.
"Yes. With my grasses. I not pay - You make mistake."
AUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H!!!!!!!!!
She gets up on the stool again, I shoot the photo. "This photo is NOT guaranteed. If there's anything wrong with it. It's not my fault." I say as I've taken the photo.
"Ok I not hol' you responsible. Who your manager?"
I smile tightly. "I'm the manager." You silly bitch. You think I'd put up with your horse shit for the last 4 hours if I could have pawned you off on somebody else?!
"YOU?! You manager!?"
"Yes... I'm the manager m'am."
I write on her receipt. "Photos NOT guaranteed. Photos shot with glasses."
"There you go. Have a nice day..."
And she leaves... Hopefully for good.
What a self-serving, self-satisfied, horrible pain in my ass! I was in the mall later that night and saw the family I'd been serving when she stormed in for the second time and told them that she even had the nerve to phone and scream at me and then come in for a 3rd time. They couldn't believe it...
Neither could the woman who'd screamed at her for not being able to pick up her photos. I wouldn't be surprised if the stupid bitch ends up in Sightings.
If I never see her again it'll be too soon.
Nope.. Busy as fuck and I'm run off my feet when I have a passport customer come in. The usual schpiel is to have the customer take off his/her glasses, any shiny jewellery and if there's any shininess on their face, to powder them with a light matte finish powder.
Simple right?
She gets up onto the chair and sits and I tell her to take off her glasses. "No!" she shrieks at me in a strident sharp accent. "I wear my grasses! I can wear my grasses if I want to!"
"Ummm no, you can't." I show her the framed poster beside the chair that states all the rules. No glasses, no shiny jewellery, no white shirts, no black shirts... Yes they're that stupid picky.
"I wear dem I wear dem if I want! It says so in my application!" *head-desk*
"I'm not shooting the passport, unless you take off your glasses."
"Harumph... Fine! But I can wear my grasses if I want to!"
So she finally takes off her damned glasses and we shoot the photo, and I cut it, stamp it. She pays for it... "I no like the picture. You take it again. I wear my grasses!"
"There's nothing wrong with the photo m'am. If you want me to take another photo it will cost you $11.95 plus tax."
She storms off, but not before screaming at me about how all her other passports she was allowed to wear her glasses.
About 30-50 minutes later she comes back and butts in front of the line while I'm shooting other passports. "I can wear my grasses! I ask other photographer! I can wear my grasses! You take photo again now!"
"You are not allowed to wear your glasses. I have that posted for a reason, ma'm. Why do you think I'm lying to you!? What possible reason would I have for lying to you? There'd be no point in it and I'd be losing a sale." I say, exasperated.
"No I don't think you lying to me! I wear my grasses!"
"Look, if you wear the glasses it creates glare. They don't want glare. If any kind. They are very VERY picky and will not accept photos with glasses!!"
The family of passports are staring at this woman like she has 3 heads, the other customers in line are getting impatient and start yelling at her.
"I'm in a hurry lady! She's trying to do her job. If she says you can't wear glasses. You can't wear glasses! I have places to fucking be okay? So just take your damned photos and go away!"
She starts yelling back. "I no leaving until I get picture with my grasses! I saw dis on dah internet! Dah INTERNET! It was on dah internet!" she shrieks.
"Yes, and I got that poster from PASSPORT CANADA! PASS-PORT CAH-NAH-DAH! Look. If I shoot the photo again with your glasses on and show you the glare and why they won't take it, will you then leave?"
She glares at me indignant. "Yes.. You show me!"
I smile tightly, I'm shaking at this point, but I remain calm, cool, and cheerful as fuck. "Okay well m'am. These customers are ahead of you so if you'll just wait a moment and I'll cut and stamp their passports so they can be on their way."
So I stamp and cut their passports and they're gone. I take passport lady from hell and shoot the photo. There's two white blobs of light on her glasses where her eyes should be. I show her.
"See? That's why I can't take it with your glasses on."
"But all my other passports..."
Oh god not this again.
"That is why I can't take it with your glasses on, they won't take it. It will get REJECTED!"
She stomps out and leaves. About 20 minutes later, I'm on the phone trying to track down the phone number for the passport office, and trying to phone another studio, except it won't dial out... There's somebody on the other line.
"Hello?"
"Herrow? Dis the portrait studio? I get my passport done der and I no like it! I have passport done before with grasses! I want my grasses!"
*Oh sweet jesus* This is now bordering on harassment.
"M'am I took your photos. Remember? I sat you in that chair and I showed you why you can't wear your glasses. YOU CAN'T WEAR YOUR GLASSES!!"
"All my other passports had glasses!"
"When. Were. The. Photos. Taken." I say slowwwwwwwwwwwly.
"It don't matter! All my other-"
"Yes. It. Does. It does matter. Because the rules have changed. You cannot have glasses on in a passport photo. I've told you this. I've told you this countless times. Where and WHEN did you have those photos taken?"
"Calgary. 1992."
Oh sweet jesus...
"You cannot have your glasses on in your photo, m'am. I'm sorry."
"I bring the photos in. I show you. Der's no glare. I take photo with grasses on and I won't pay."
"You can bring in the photos m'am but you can't have your passport photo done again. It reflects poorly on my studio to have photos taken and rejected. I can't knowingly take photos to have them rejected, just to make you happy."
"I bring in photos. I have my grasses on. There no glare."
"Are they the same glasses you're wearing now?"
"No. Dat don't mattah."
"Yes... It does matter."
"I bring photos in. What time you open til?"
"8..." Please sweet lord, please let her come in when Jemma's in... PLEASE!
*click*
Jemma phones and says she's going to be 30 minutes late... I don't get the message because I'm in the middle of a session, and then SHE shows up. Self-satisfied glare on her cat-butt face.
"See photos! All with grasses!"
"If I shoot a photo with your glasses on. Will you go away?!" I'm through being nice with this woman.
"Yes. With my grasses. I not pay - You make mistake."
AUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H!!!!!!!!!
She gets up on the stool again, I shoot the photo. "This photo is NOT guaranteed. If there's anything wrong with it. It's not my fault." I say as I've taken the photo.
"Ok I not hol' you responsible. Who your manager?"
I smile tightly. "I'm the manager." You silly bitch. You think I'd put up with your horse shit for the last 4 hours if I could have pawned you off on somebody else?!
"YOU?! You manager!?"
"Yes... I'm the manager m'am."
I write on her receipt. "Photos NOT guaranteed. Photos shot with glasses."
"There you go. Have a nice day..."
And she leaves... Hopefully for good.
What a self-serving, self-satisfied, horrible pain in my ass! I was in the mall later that night and saw the family I'd been serving when she stormed in for the second time and told them that she even had the nerve to phone and scream at me and then come in for a 3rd time. They couldn't believe it...
Neither could the woman who'd screamed at her for not being able to pick up her photos. I wouldn't be surprised if the stupid bitch ends up in Sightings.
If I never see her again it'll be too soon.
I HATE having my picture taken. So when I get glasses eventually here, I won't care how it's taken as long as it's done quickly and I can get out of there.
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