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So, I'm at Wal-Mart, at the self-check, doing my usual thing...standing at the self-check at 10 at night, with no one around, chucking two pounds of pennies into the machine to pay for $13 of groceries.
Now, I was wearing my Rey Mysterio shirt. And I was singing his theme music to myself...these lines.
"De el cielo Con mi voz brillo el cielo.
Alto porque me duele la alma.
Y deje mi cartera en Tijuana.
El soldado enmascarado ten cuidado.
paisa paisa estas pasado."
...I have NO earthly idea if those are the right words, and if so, what all of them mean. But I know the basic gist of the song, know them by heart and sing them.
Since I was already singing in Spanish and just in a silly mood, I did the self-check system in Spanish as well. Seriously, I could probably do it in Roman, all you have to do is follow the pictures of "Scan" and "Finish" and "Pay". But I just like to do it every now and then to listen to the little self-check woman speaking Spanish.
So I-a very white female with gray eyes and bright red hair, BTW-am pouring change into the machine, singing in Spanish, and this old crotch of a woman gets in at the self-check behind me. I'm not paying any attention to her, until I hear her start grumbling to herself.
"Stupid illegals comin' into this country, ruining things, taking jobs..." Etc., etc.
I just ignore her because I'm not in the mood to get into a long political debate (still not, for the record), but after a while, I get the sense that someone is looking at me. So I raise my head from my penny-chucking and look around, and realize that Old Crotch of a Woman (OCW) is glaring at me.
Well, no, not at me. At the cashier standing watch over the self-checks right behind me. And OCW is fussing at her.
"I can't believe you let those people shop here! They should not be in this country, let alone buying our groceries!" Etc., etc. (You know what these people say.)
The lady is just staring back at her, looking back and forth between me and her...and it dawns on me that this woman is talking about ME. Because I'm wearing a shirt with a Mexican wrestler on it, going through the self-check in Spanish, and singing to myself in Spanish...she decided I was an illegal immigrant!
Well, I couldn't decide whether or not to laugh or what, but you all know me.
I went over to OCW, smiling pleasantly, and held out my hand to her. She stared at me, and I loudly proclaimed "HI. I'm American!"
She just stared at me, and her mouth started doing this fish thing...open, closed, open, closed, open, closed. Finally discovering her function, she said "You're working that in Spanish..."
(I'm typing this as best I can...I speak gutter Spanish) "Si! Yo soy Espanol, tu perra loca! I can speak Spanish! And regardless..." I pointed back at the cashier. "Unless I'm robbing the place, or breaking shit, or Osama Bin Laden, she doesn't CARE. Mi denero es as bien as your denero. My money is good regardless! And FURTHER, what world are you from that a white girl with gray eyes and red hair is MEXICAN??"
She continued doing her fish-mouth thing, then abruptly turned back to her register and continued ringing herself out.
I meanwhile, looked at the casher, grinned, and said "Don't you hate how they let stupid people in this country? I mean, they take up all the air and space, am I right?" Then I just stuffed a ten in the machine and left because I was bored with the whole thing.
Seriously, someone tell me exactly what that was all about?
Now, I was wearing my Rey Mysterio shirt. And I was singing his theme music to myself...these lines.
"De el cielo Con mi voz brillo el cielo.
Alto porque me duele la alma.
Y deje mi cartera en Tijuana.
El soldado enmascarado ten cuidado.
paisa paisa estas pasado."
...I have NO earthly idea if those are the right words, and if so, what all of them mean. But I know the basic gist of the song, know them by heart and sing them.
Since I was already singing in Spanish and just in a silly mood, I did the self-check system in Spanish as well. Seriously, I could probably do it in Roman, all you have to do is follow the pictures of "Scan" and "Finish" and "Pay". But I just like to do it every now and then to listen to the little self-check woman speaking Spanish.
So I-a very white female with gray eyes and bright red hair, BTW-am pouring change into the machine, singing in Spanish, and this old crotch of a woman gets in at the self-check behind me. I'm not paying any attention to her, until I hear her start grumbling to herself.
"Stupid illegals comin' into this country, ruining things, taking jobs..." Etc., etc.
I just ignore her because I'm not in the mood to get into a long political debate (still not, for the record), but after a while, I get the sense that someone is looking at me. So I raise my head from my penny-chucking and look around, and realize that Old Crotch of a Woman (OCW) is glaring at me.
Well, no, not at me. At the cashier standing watch over the self-checks right behind me. And OCW is fussing at her.
"I can't believe you let those people shop here! They should not be in this country, let alone buying our groceries!" Etc., etc. (You know what these people say.)
The lady is just staring back at her, looking back and forth between me and her...and it dawns on me that this woman is talking about ME. Because I'm wearing a shirt with a Mexican wrestler on it, going through the self-check in Spanish, and singing to myself in Spanish...she decided I was an illegal immigrant!
Well, I couldn't decide whether or not to laugh or what, but you all know me.
I went over to OCW, smiling pleasantly, and held out my hand to her. She stared at me, and I loudly proclaimed "HI. I'm American!"
She just stared at me, and her mouth started doing this fish thing...open, closed, open, closed, open, closed. Finally discovering her function, she said "You're working that in Spanish..."
(I'm typing this as best I can...I speak gutter Spanish) "Si! Yo soy Espanol, tu perra loca! I can speak Spanish! And regardless..." I pointed back at the cashier. "Unless I'm robbing the place, or breaking shit, or Osama Bin Laden, she doesn't CARE. Mi denero es as bien as your denero. My money is good regardless! And FURTHER, what world are you from that a white girl with gray eyes and red hair is MEXICAN??"
She continued doing her fish-mouth thing, then abruptly turned back to her register and continued ringing herself out.
I meanwhile, looked at the casher, grinned, and said "Don't you hate how they let stupid people in this country? I mean, they take up all the air and space, am I right?" Then I just stuffed a ten in the machine and left because I was bored with the whole thing.
Seriously, someone tell me exactly what that was all about?
over how she managed to jump from "Singing in Spanish" to "illegal immigrant." I know more than a few people who can sing in foreign languages and yet don't know a bloody word in the language, because they simply learned it by ear. Oi.
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