Tweet
Typing is fun. I wish I could do it at work instead of talking. All of the sudden yesterday, my right tonsil started to hurt like mad. Swallowing increased the pain about a hundredfold. If I touch it with my tongue or any form of food, it feels like someone stabbing me with a knife. That’s on fire. And covered in bees. I went to the doctor this morning before work and I have viral tonsillitis. Being viral, they can’t give me magic pills to fix it, and I can’t get out of work without getting in trouble due to dealing with a car wreck last week. If it were swollen or inflamed, maybe RP would be more forgiving, but there’s no physical evidence to support my excruciating pain, so all I can do is talk on the phone all day, which does not make it feel any better.
At least we were slow the last couple of days. Today is non-stop busy, but here’s the last couple of days’ worth of the stupidity I endured. Not much to report really, but hey, I work with what I have.
SM = Sucky Man
SW = Sucky Woman
ME = Owie…
Sarcasm Filter: Failed
SW: I want a credit for all the minutes over I had last month!
ME: Well, I do see the calls were made from your phone, the serial number in the call records matches with the phone you’ve been using for the last 7 months. We can look at a better plan-
SW: The plan I have is fine! You just need to take the overage off!
ME: But those are valid charges. You did use the service. You were over last month also, did you consider changing your plan when you saw the bill at that time?
SW: I don’t ever check my bill, I just pay whatever it says is due when I call the automated system. But anyway, you need to do what I want! The customer is always right!
ME: Actually, that’s a common misconception.
Fortunately, she had gone into a tirade and didn’t hear me at all. It’s not like I told her anything that was incorrect, anyway….
Oh Yeah. This Marriage is Going to Last
SM: I need to cancel due to extenuating circumstances.
ME: I’m sorry to hear that. What’s going on, maybe I can help.
SM: I’m getting married.
If I could record this call myself and send it to the “lucky” bride so she could hear the sheer defeat in his voice, I’d do it.
Let’s Do the Time Warp Again
SM: I want a lower plan or I’ll cancel!
ME: I have a plan available for 60 minutes a month, it’s our lowest plan we’ve ever offered.
SM: 60 minutes? That’s all? I use more minutes than that an hour!
I tried to figure out the logic here, but I just couldn’t do it. To acquire the metal capacity for this to make sense, I’d have to drink my weight in alcohol, inhale gas fumes for 16 hours, and eat a lead pipe. And none of that sounds like fun, so I guess I’ll just let it make sense to citizens of the magic fairy world of make-believe like you, sir. Good day.
On Preparedness
ME: Could I have your mobile phone number please?
SM: No, but I’ll give you my account number. It’s……..
ME: …..
SM: Baby, what’s my account number?
Woman in background: Sigh. XXXXXXXXX.
“Baby,” get out while you can! I’ve seen where this is going, soon you’ll be just an extenuating circumstance. Why don’t I see if I can get you and the other woman together and you can have a castration party? Or you could go all Thelma & Loiuse if you want. I’ll set it up, you two just do whatever with it.
1-800-YOU-SUCK
My third customer in three worked days in a row that I made cry
. She was bawling because thought 800 numbers didn’t use minutes. So she had the brilliant idea to use calling cards for a vast number of calls and wound up something like 750 minutes over. I explained that 800 numbers are TOLL FREE meaning that if you don’t have a phone service that offers free long distance, they don’t charge a toll per minute. It doesn’t mean they don’t use cell phone minutes. In fact, most toll-free numbers now carry a disclaimer in the fine print that it may use minutes if calling from a wireless phone. Of course, when I asked if she noticed when she checked her minutes that she was quickly approaching and then exceeding her minutes, she gave the exact response I was expecting, that she doesn’t ever check her minutes because she never, ever goes over. Nope, not going to feel sorry for you. If you want sympathy, look in the dictionary between “sh*t” and “syphilis.”
…
My sheet of notes has one more entry from Friday. It says “Someone.” That’s all. It would seem a customer said something about “someone” that I found to be noteworthy, but then I seem to have gotten another call before I could write anything else and I have no idea what it was in reference to. Sorry.
At least we were slow the last couple of days. Today is non-stop busy, but here’s the last couple of days’ worth of the stupidity I endured. Not much to report really, but hey, I work with what I have.
SM = Sucky Man
SW = Sucky Woman
ME = Owie…
Sarcasm Filter: Failed
SW: I want a credit for all the minutes over I had last month!
ME: Well, I do see the calls were made from your phone, the serial number in the call records matches with the phone you’ve been using for the last 7 months. We can look at a better plan-
SW: The plan I have is fine! You just need to take the overage off!
ME: But those are valid charges. You did use the service. You were over last month also, did you consider changing your plan when you saw the bill at that time?
SW: I don’t ever check my bill, I just pay whatever it says is due when I call the automated system. But anyway, you need to do what I want! The customer is always right!
ME: Actually, that’s a common misconception.
Fortunately, she had gone into a tirade and didn’t hear me at all. It’s not like I told her anything that was incorrect, anyway….
Oh Yeah. This Marriage is Going to Last
SM: I need to cancel due to extenuating circumstances.
ME: I’m sorry to hear that. What’s going on, maybe I can help.
SM: I’m getting married.
If I could record this call myself and send it to the “lucky” bride so she could hear the sheer defeat in his voice, I’d do it.
Let’s Do the Time Warp Again
SM: I want a lower plan or I’ll cancel!
ME: I have a plan available for 60 minutes a month, it’s our lowest plan we’ve ever offered.
SM: 60 minutes? That’s all? I use more minutes than that an hour!
I tried to figure out the logic here, but I just couldn’t do it. To acquire the metal capacity for this to make sense, I’d have to drink my weight in alcohol, inhale gas fumes for 16 hours, and eat a lead pipe. And none of that sounds like fun, so I guess I’ll just let it make sense to citizens of the magic fairy world of make-believe like you, sir. Good day.
On Preparedness
ME: Could I have your mobile phone number please?
SM: No, but I’ll give you my account number. It’s……..
ME: …..
SM: Baby, what’s my account number?
Woman in background: Sigh. XXXXXXXXX.
“Baby,” get out while you can! I’ve seen where this is going, soon you’ll be just an extenuating circumstance. Why don’t I see if I can get you and the other woman together and you can have a castration party? Or you could go all Thelma & Loiuse if you want. I’ll set it up, you two just do whatever with it.
1-800-YOU-SUCK
My third customer in three worked days in a row that I made cry
. She was bawling because thought 800 numbers didn’t use minutes. So she had the brilliant idea to use calling cards for a vast number of calls and wound up something like 750 minutes over. I explained that 800 numbers are TOLL FREE meaning that if you don’t have a phone service that offers free long distance, they don’t charge a toll per minute. It doesn’t mean they don’t use cell phone minutes. In fact, most toll-free numbers now carry a disclaimer in the fine print that it may use minutes if calling from a wireless phone. Of course, when I asked if she noticed when she checked her minutes that she was quickly approaching and then exceeding her minutes, she gave the exact response I was expecting, that she doesn’t ever check her minutes because she never, ever goes over. Nope, not going to feel sorry for you. If you want sympathy, look in the dictionary between “sh*t” and “syphilis.”…
My sheet of notes has one more entry from Friday. It says “Someone.” That’s all. It would seem a customer said something about “someone” that I found to be noteworthy, but then I seem to have gotten another call before I could write anything else and I have no idea what it was in reference to. Sorry.
). She calls someone, puts them on hold, calls someone else, then does a 3-way conference on the phone, while the first person is still on hold. Three times the minute usage for the price of one! Either that or she's on a metric hour.
)
Comment