The other day I was approached by a gentleman with a box of children's shoes in his hand that possessed the thickest foreign accent I've ever heard. So impenetrable, in fact, that my first impression was that he wasn't speaking English at all, but a language like Yoruba or Swahili.
Now, I work in a pretty diverse city, and it's not at all unusual for me to get customers that are new to the country with limited to nonexistant knowledge of English. It's no big deal for me; I can usually get the gist of what they're saying and if I can't...well, with a bit a humour and a lot of gesturing I'm generally able to help them find what they need.
However, sometimes I do get the occaisional jerk that's simply unable to bear with me. Our little conversation went as follows:
SC: Hayiddiz shoofah zebinya hols?
Me: Pardon, sir?
SC: Aysay iddiz shoofah zebinya hols?
Me: I'm sorry, I still didn't quite catch that. Could you please speak a little more slowly, sir?
SC: IDDIZ SHOOFAH ZEBINYA HOLS!
Me: *finally gets it* Oh! It's really difficult to say if it would fit a seven-year-old, since there is no standard size for that age. The best thing to do would be to get the child's feet measured.
My victory was short-lived, because the customer had a few follow-up question that I just couldn't decipher. When I told him as such, he all but bit my head off.
CS: *nastily*, Watcho stoopid oh suntin? Kanugitmuh sunboddahoo speek inglesh?
That I was able to get. According to the gentleman, not only was I a young woman of questionable intellect, but also one whose English proficiency was sorely lacking. My brain still bleeds from the irony.
Anyway, I wanted to reply that I'd left my Asshole-to-English Dictionary at home that day but our manager expects a little more diplomacy out of her employees. So I had to content myself with saying "I'm sorry about my lack of comphrehension, sir, but I assure you that I'm quite proficient in speaking my native language. Now if you would like me to get my coworker who is originally from (Non-English Speaking Country), I'm sure she would be happy to help you."
Well, that set him off. He prompty went into a frenzy of wildly flailing limbs and heated but unintelligble condemnations. It's probably for the best that I couldn't understand a single word of it. He finally stormed out when he noticed the utterly blank look on my face.
Now, I work in a pretty diverse city, and it's not at all unusual for me to get customers that are new to the country with limited to nonexistant knowledge of English. It's no big deal for me; I can usually get the gist of what they're saying and if I can't...well, with a bit a humour and a lot of gesturing I'm generally able to help them find what they need.
However, sometimes I do get the occaisional jerk that's simply unable to bear with me. Our little conversation went as follows:
SC: Hayiddiz shoofah zebinya hols?
Me: Pardon, sir?

SC: Aysay iddiz shoofah zebinya hols?
Me: I'm sorry, I still didn't quite catch that. Could you please speak a little more slowly, sir?
SC: IDDIZ SHOOFAH ZEBINYA HOLS!
Me: *finally gets it* Oh! It's really difficult to say if it would fit a seven-year-old, since there is no standard size for that age. The best thing to do would be to get the child's feet measured.
My victory was short-lived, because the customer had a few follow-up question that I just couldn't decipher. When I told him as such, he all but bit my head off.
CS: *nastily*, Watcho stoopid oh suntin? Kanugitmuh sunboddahoo speek inglesh?
That I was able to get. According to the gentleman, not only was I a young woman of questionable intellect, but also one whose English proficiency was sorely lacking. My brain still bleeds from the irony.
Anyway, I wanted to reply that I'd left my Asshole-to-English Dictionary at home that day but our manager expects a little more diplomacy out of her employees. So I had to content myself with saying "I'm sorry about my lack of comphrehension, sir, but I assure you that I'm quite proficient in speaking my native language. Now if you would like me to get my coworker who is originally from (Non-English Speaking Country), I'm sure she would be happy to help you."
Well, that set him off. He prompty went into a frenzy of wildly flailing limbs and heated but unintelligble condemnations. It's probably for the best that I couldn't understand a single word of it. He finally stormed out when he noticed the utterly blank look on my face.

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