Ok due to a couple of requests in my last post about selling cigarettes, I decided to go ahead and post about the wacko who threatened to sue. Seriously, this guy didn't have issues, he had subscriptions. It's been a while (it was in '06), so this is how it happened, to the best of my recollection.
So I'm sitting at work, minding my own business, and a guy comes in and asks for a pack of Basic Light 100's. I stand up, get them off the shelf, and the following conversation ensues.
CM - Crazy Man
M - Slightly less crazy cashier
CM: THOSE CIGARETTES ARE OUT OF DATE I DON'T WANT THOSE!!!!!
M: Okay...*flips pack over, reads coded date, sees that they are, indeed, out of date*
CM: I BOUGHT A PACK IN HERE LAST NIGHT THAT WAS OUT OF DATE!!! I LIT ONE UP AND IT TASTED FUNNY!! THAT LITTLE PAPER IN THERE SAYS 2004 ON IT!!! THEY ARE TWO YEARS OUT OF DATE!!!
M: *Thinking: Okay, you bought a pack in here last night, smoked them anyway, and came back in to buy another pack?* I'm sorry, I only have these four packs, and I don't have another carton...
CM: I WANT TO BUY THOSE SO I CAN SHOW YOU THAT PAPER!!!!!
M: Legally I'm not supposed to sell you out of date products...
CM: NO I AM GOING TO BUY THOSE!!!
M: *Thinking: If it will shut you the hell up and get you out of my store, FINE.* *rings them up, takes his money*
CM: *Proceeds to open the cigarettes to show me the paper* SEE THIS SAYS '04!!!! THESE ARE TWO YEARS OUT OF DATE!!!
M: *Thinking: Actually, no. They're a year out of date, because tobacco has a one year shelf life, fifteen months if they're cold-storage* Okay, sir, but you didn't have to buy them.
CM: YOUR BOSS IS INTENTIONALLY SELLING OUT OF DATE CIGARETTES!!!
M: Sir, I don't think so I think it was just a mistake...
CM: I'M GOING ACROSS THE STREET TO BUY A PACK OF CIGARETTES THAT ISN'T OUT OF DATE!!!
M: *Thinking: THANK GOD!
Oh, but it doesn't end here. He went across the street and bought a pack of cigarettes, then CAME BACK to my store.
CM: YOU TELL YOUR BOSS THAT I KNOW HE IS INTENTIONALLY SELLING OUT OF DATE CIGARETTES AND IF I EVER COME IN HERE AGAIN AND GET OUT OF DATE CIGARETTES I WILL SUE HIS ASS OFF!!!!!
M: Sir, it was probably just a mix up at our supplier, we sell enough Basic Light 100's that there's no way they would go out of date on our shelf.
CM: NO THAT'S NOT IT!!!! HE IS SELLING THEM ON PURPOSE!!! I WILL SUE THE HELL OUT OF HIM!!!
M: How about I give you his number and let you tell him that?
CM: NO YOU WILL TELL HIM! I WILL SUE!!!! *goes out door still screaming* I WILL FUCKING SUE!!! I WILL SUE HIS ASS OFF!!! I WILL SUE!!!
I mean, holy tapdancing moses on buttered toast! This guy was insane. If he had come in and brought the pack of cigarettes from the night before and said "Hey, look, I bought this pack of cigarettes last night, and they tasted a little off, I think they're out of date" I would have checked the date and saw that they were, and given him either another pack (had I had any) or his money back. But no, instead he goes completely BATSHIT about it. He literally SCREAMED at me the entire time. And I'm sure he called and told my boss that I was SOOOO RUUUUUDE to him. Seriously, it WAS a mix up with our supplier, Basic Light 100's are one of our more popular varieties, there's NO WAY they stayed on our shelf long enough to go out of date. The '04 that was on the papers wasn't visible unless you opened the cigarettes and unfolded the paper. Apparently we sold five packs of them before anyone realized they were out of date, because after he went batshit I had four packs left on the shelf, which I immediately pulled.
I wanted to stab him with a plastic fork. Seriously, he gave me a headache.
So I'm sitting at work, minding my own business, and a guy comes in and asks for a pack of Basic Light 100's. I stand up, get them off the shelf, and the following conversation ensues.
CM - Crazy Man
M - Slightly less crazy cashier

CM: THOSE CIGARETTES ARE OUT OF DATE I DON'T WANT THOSE!!!!!
M: Okay...*flips pack over, reads coded date, sees that they are, indeed, out of date*
CM: I BOUGHT A PACK IN HERE LAST NIGHT THAT WAS OUT OF DATE!!! I LIT ONE UP AND IT TASTED FUNNY!! THAT LITTLE PAPER IN THERE SAYS 2004 ON IT!!! THEY ARE TWO YEARS OUT OF DATE!!!
M: *Thinking: Okay, you bought a pack in here last night, smoked them anyway, and came back in to buy another pack?* I'm sorry, I only have these four packs, and I don't have another carton...
CM: I WANT TO BUY THOSE SO I CAN SHOW YOU THAT PAPER!!!!!
M: Legally I'm not supposed to sell you out of date products...
CM: NO I AM GOING TO BUY THOSE!!!
M: *Thinking: If it will shut you the hell up and get you out of my store, FINE.* *rings them up, takes his money*
CM: *Proceeds to open the cigarettes to show me the paper* SEE THIS SAYS '04!!!! THESE ARE TWO YEARS OUT OF DATE!!!
M: *Thinking: Actually, no. They're a year out of date, because tobacco has a one year shelf life, fifteen months if they're cold-storage* Okay, sir, but you didn't have to buy them.
CM: YOUR BOSS IS INTENTIONALLY SELLING OUT OF DATE CIGARETTES!!!
M: Sir, I don't think so I think it was just a mistake...
CM: I'M GOING ACROSS THE STREET TO BUY A PACK OF CIGARETTES THAT ISN'T OUT OF DATE!!!
M: *Thinking: THANK GOD!
Oh, but it doesn't end here. He went across the street and bought a pack of cigarettes, then CAME BACK to my store.
CM: YOU TELL YOUR BOSS THAT I KNOW HE IS INTENTIONALLY SELLING OUT OF DATE CIGARETTES AND IF I EVER COME IN HERE AGAIN AND GET OUT OF DATE CIGARETTES I WILL SUE HIS ASS OFF!!!!!
M: Sir, it was probably just a mix up at our supplier, we sell enough Basic Light 100's that there's no way they would go out of date on our shelf.
CM: NO THAT'S NOT IT!!!! HE IS SELLING THEM ON PURPOSE!!! I WILL SUE THE HELL OUT OF HIM!!!
M: How about I give you his number and let you tell him that?
CM: NO YOU WILL TELL HIM! I WILL SUE!!!! *goes out door still screaming* I WILL FUCKING SUE!!! I WILL SUE HIS ASS OFF!!! I WILL SUE!!!
I mean, holy tapdancing moses on buttered toast! This guy was insane. If he had come in and brought the pack of cigarettes from the night before and said "Hey, look, I bought this pack of cigarettes last night, and they tasted a little off, I think they're out of date" I would have checked the date and saw that they were, and given him either another pack (had I had any) or his money back. But no, instead he goes completely BATSHIT about it. He literally SCREAMED at me the entire time. And I'm sure he called and told my boss that I was SOOOO RUUUUUDE to him. Seriously, it WAS a mix up with our supplier, Basic Light 100's are one of our more popular varieties, there's NO WAY they stayed on our shelf long enough to go out of date. The '04 that was on the papers wasn't visible unless you opened the cigarettes and unfolded the paper. Apparently we sold five packs of them before anyone realized they were out of date, because after he went batshit I had four packs left on the shelf, which I immediately pulled.
I wanted to stab him with a plastic fork. Seriously, he gave me a headache.
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