Man, people suck sometimes. Here's this week crop of winners. I never knew working at a call center could make someone so cynical and jaded. Now I understand as I think become more jaded with this job by the day.
SC = stupid customer/sucky customer/scum customer
Me = The fairest of them all
Shattered Phone, Shattered dreams
Me: Sorry to hear you broke your phone. I see you've only had it for three months.
SC: Yeah..I loved that phone
Me: Well you did not purchase insurance so unfortunately if you want a new phone you will have to pay full price for it.
SC: Aight, what would that be, 'bout 20 bucks?
Me:
Well, no sir, the cheapest new phone we have is 169.99
SC: WHAT?! No way man, I been down to the Sprint store recently and they got phones in there for like, less than 50 bucks.
Me: Well that's true they do, but those prices are for people who sign a two year contract with us.
SC: I signed a contract with y'all! That means I should be able to get a phone right?
Me: Well, not exactly. You signed a contract, we gave you a phone, the phone is now broken. You can't get another cheap phone for the same contract.
SC: Well maybe I'll go get a cheap phone from some other company then!
Me: That is your choice sir, but if you cancel with us you'll have to pay a $200 termination fee and I did say our cheapest phone is 169.99 so...
SC: Come on man, you a HUGE corporation and you can find it in your hearts to help out a brother who lost his phone? Surely you can afford to give me a phone for cheap.
Me: I am sorry you lost your phone, but you will have to pay full price for a new one or pay the cancellation fee to cancel your contract.
SC: Get me your supervisor, I will NOT be treated like this!
Me: One moment, sir.
So he got on with my sup, who explained to him just as I did that NO, he cannot go get a phone and YES he can go screw himself. Ok the sup didn't actually SAY that, but she and I were both thinking it...
You inconvenienced me...give me FREE stuff!!
Me: What can I do for you today?
SC: Well I was on the phone a earlier today with a Supervisor and I lost the call. She told me if that happened, to call back and ask for a Supervisor again, so here I am.
Me: Ok sir and what is this regarding?
SC: Well it's a long story and I ain't telling it all again. Basically I've been put through a lot by your company. Billing errors, screwed up orders, rude reps and countless hours on the phone and I expect compensation for all my time and energy dealing with this.
Me: Ok sir, my sup will be on in a moment. (explain situation to sup)
Sadly I didn't get to listen to this call when my sup took it, but I did hear HER comments to the guy, it went something like this:
"Unfortunately we cannot give free phones because of inconvenience"
"I do understand sir, bit it does appear all of your errors have been corrected and all necessary adjustments have been applied. There are no more credits due on this account."
"Sir please refrain from using foul language."
"I understand completely sir, but you will not be getting any free stuff, the only thing you WILL be getting is a sincere apology from us for all the errors."
"Did you just THREATEN me?"
"Once more sir, I understand your situation completely but there is nothing I can offer you."
"Very well, I will transfer you to cancellations."
Who's more the fool...
Me: Ok, well you'll have to make an insurance claim to get a new phone for your son.
SC: *sigh* Uh, is there any way I can go to a store a just get a replacement there?
Me: Unfortunately, all replacements do have to be handled through our insurance company. This can be done through a store, but you'll still need to wait a few days for the phone to come.
SC: Last time we dealt with them we had a lot of problems. His phone broke and it took us a week and a half to get a replacement from them.
Me: I think it usually only takes a few days, but --
SC: Let me tell you something sir, he lost his JOB because he didn't have the phone. He lost his JOB! They had no way to reach them so he lost his job.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that, I'd be happy to get someone on the line from the insurance company to help us through this process...
SC: Are you listening to me? He lost his JOB Because of you people! You just can't be messing around with your insurance like that?
(Yes you annoying hag, I heard you the first THREE times!)
Me: As I said ma'am I apologize for that, but me get an insurance rep on the phone and we'll try and make sure history does not repeat itself.
SC: Fine...but I'm not real sure about this...
*transfer*
I was sooooo ready to go off on this woman. Yeah, it's our company's fault that your DUMBASS son was without a phone for two weeks and couldn't find ANY OTHER WAY for his employer to contact him!! Surely he must have friends or relatives with working PHONES?? I know if I had a broken phone, it wouldn't take me nearly TWO WEEKS to arrange something else or at least with my employer. We didn't cost your son his job, the stupid kid did it to himself.
No Money, Mo' Problems
SC: I know I'm behind on the bill, but if I could just get a extension for like a week I'ma get it all paid up.
Me: Well sir I see you've had service with us nearly a year and have only paid twice. Unfortunately I can't give you an extension.
SC: Come on man, I swear to you I'll pay, I just need help this once.
Me: I understand where you are at sir, but your payment record in the past with us has not been that great, therefore I cannot offer an extension.
SC: Oh so just because I missed a few bills I'm a deadbeat huh?
(Since when is TEN bills a "few" ?)
Me: I didn't say that.
SC: Oh I know what you're thinking. Come on man, just help me out here!
Me: I'm sorry sir I can't do that.
SC: well then get me a manager or someone who can.
(Grrrrr....)
Fortunately I got to listen to this sup call...
sup: Sir as my agent told you, you've only paid two bills in a year. If you had paid all the others but missed this one I could offer you an arrangment, but since you haven't been consistent with payments there is nothing I can do.
SC: come on man, you're the manager, how you gonna tell me you can't do nuthin! Help me out there, please, I'm begging you.
Sup: I understand it is frustrating to be without service, but unfortunately I cannot restore your phones unless you make a payment today.
SC: I don't believe this! How do you get off treating your paying customers like this?
Sup: Sir we take great pride in providing good customer service to all our paying customers. However, since we have not recieved any money from you since June, you're NOT a paying customer.
(did I mention my Sup is awesome?)
SC: Don't be rude to me like that!
Sup: I was not rude sir, I was merely stating a fact.
SC: sounded pretty rude to me.
Sup: I assure that was not my intent. Anything else I can do for you today?
SC: Yeah! give me a break and cut my phone on!
Sup: I've already told you sir that won't happen without a payment.
SC: Then let me speak to whoever is above you.
Sup: There's no one above me to speak to sir.
SC: There MUST be people above you.
Sup: There are, but those people do not take calls, if you wish to file a complaint you may send it in writing to the address on the back of page 1 of your bill and...
SC: You know what? Screw y'all. I don't need this. Stupid company. *click*
Waahmbulance Ride
I got TWO sup calls out of this issue in the same day this week, people telling me they are not using the minutes our system says they are.
(note: this particular SC was one of those "miss thang" black ladies)
SC: there's NO way I used that many minutes! You need to credit me back for those!
Me: Well I have the call records here in my system, I do see all the calls listed, entirely to numbers in your area.
SC: I couldn't have used that many minutes, it's IMPOSSIBLE.
Me: You can look at your bill online or when you get it through the mail, if you find errors on there you can tell us...
SC: I just told you the error, I didn't use those minutes!
Me: I meant if you find particular calls on there that you feel are billed incorrectly or numbers you do not recognize we can address this things. I can't simply credit your account because you don't believe you've used the minutes.
SC: Then I need to speak to a supervisor, I want my credit!
(and you believe whining like a 5 year old is going to help you get it?)
Me: Ok ma'am, just one moment.
---------
Sup: I understand but according to our system you did use those minutes, if there are certain calls you see on the bill that may be incorrect you can--
SC: Oh come on, you're just telling me what the other guy said!
Sup: Well that's because what he told you was correct.
(could it be that I'm...*gasp*..competent at my job! Yay for me
)
SC: Look, I did *NOT* use those minutes.
Sup: I am not saying for certain that you did. All I said was our system indicates otherwise and if you feel there are errors you can review your bill and contact us about any descrepancies.
SC: Does this mean you're not going to credit me?
Sup: No ma'am, there's no adjustment due on this account at this time.
SC: Damn, I don't believe you people. *click*
Man, you must want to kick your parents ass every day!
(I'm only using C for the customer on this one, since she was actually quite nice)
Me: And the name on the account?
C: (female voice) Anthony Brown
Me: And who am I speaking with today? (This is procedure. Whenever I have a woman call in on an account with a man's name on it or vice versa, I verify that this person is actually allowed to access the account)
C: Anthony Brown
Me: ...... (I get a "yeah, right" look on my face, there's a couple of seconds of silence on the line)
C: Look my parents wanted a boy and kept the name ok?
Me: Oh...ok. Sorry about that.
C: It's ok, happens alllll the time.
Allow me to state so clearly what all of you are no doubt thinking at this point:
Who in the blue raging hell names a girl ANTHONY??
Morons. That's who.
Thank god that week is over.
SC = stupid customer/sucky customer/scum customer
Me = The fairest of them all

Shattered Phone, Shattered dreams
Me: Sorry to hear you broke your phone. I see you've only had it for three months.
SC: Yeah..I loved that phone
Me: Well you did not purchase insurance so unfortunately if you want a new phone you will have to pay full price for it.
SC: Aight, what would that be, 'bout 20 bucks?
Me:

SC: WHAT?! No way man, I been down to the Sprint store recently and they got phones in there for like, less than 50 bucks.
Me: Well that's true they do, but those prices are for people who sign a two year contract with us.
SC: I signed a contract with y'all! That means I should be able to get a phone right?
Me: Well, not exactly. You signed a contract, we gave you a phone, the phone is now broken. You can't get another cheap phone for the same contract.
SC: Well maybe I'll go get a cheap phone from some other company then!
Me: That is your choice sir, but if you cancel with us you'll have to pay a $200 termination fee and I did say our cheapest phone is 169.99 so...
SC: Come on man, you a HUGE corporation and you can find it in your hearts to help out a brother who lost his phone? Surely you can afford to give me a phone for cheap.
Me: I am sorry you lost your phone, but you will have to pay full price for a new one or pay the cancellation fee to cancel your contract.
SC: Get me your supervisor, I will NOT be treated like this!
Me: One moment, sir.
So he got on with my sup, who explained to him just as I did that NO, he cannot go get a phone and YES he can go screw himself. Ok the sup didn't actually SAY that, but she and I were both thinking it...

You inconvenienced me...give me FREE stuff!!
Me: What can I do for you today?
SC: Well I was on the phone a earlier today with a Supervisor and I lost the call. She told me if that happened, to call back and ask for a Supervisor again, so here I am.
Me: Ok sir and what is this regarding?
SC: Well it's a long story and I ain't telling it all again. Basically I've been put through a lot by your company. Billing errors, screwed up orders, rude reps and countless hours on the phone and I expect compensation for all my time and energy dealing with this.
Me: Ok sir, my sup will be on in a moment. (explain situation to sup)
Sadly I didn't get to listen to this call when my sup took it, but I did hear HER comments to the guy, it went something like this:
"Unfortunately we cannot give free phones because of inconvenience"
"I do understand sir, bit it does appear all of your errors have been corrected and all necessary adjustments have been applied. There are no more credits due on this account."
"Sir please refrain from using foul language."
"I understand completely sir, but you will not be getting any free stuff, the only thing you WILL be getting is a sincere apology from us for all the errors."
"Did you just THREATEN me?"
"Once more sir, I understand your situation completely but there is nothing I can offer you."
"Very well, I will transfer you to cancellations."
Who's more the fool...
Me: Ok, well you'll have to make an insurance claim to get a new phone for your son.
SC: *sigh* Uh, is there any way I can go to a store a just get a replacement there?
Me: Unfortunately, all replacements do have to be handled through our insurance company. This can be done through a store, but you'll still need to wait a few days for the phone to come.
SC: Last time we dealt with them we had a lot of problems. His phone broke and it took us a week and a half to get a replacement from them.
Me: I think it usually only takes a few days, but --
SC: Let me tell you something sir, he lost his JOB because he didn't have the phone. He lost his JOB! They had no way to reach them so he lost his job.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that, I'd be happy to get someone on the line from the insurance company to help us through this process...
SC: Are you listening to me? He lost his JOB Because of you people! You just can't be messing around with your insurance like that?
(Yes you annoying hag, I heard you the first THREE times!)
Me: As I said ma'am I apologize for that, but me get an insurance rep on the phone and we'll try and make sure history does not repeat itself.
SC: Fine...but I'm not real sure about this...
*transfer*
I was sooooo ready to go off on this woman. Yeah, it's our company's fault that your DUMBASS son was without a phone for two weeks and couldn't find ANY OTHER WAY for his employer to contact him!! Surely he must have friends or relatives with working PHONES?? I know if I had a broken phone, it wouldn't take me nearly TWO WEEKS to arrange something else or at least with my employer. We didn't cost your son his job, the stupid kid did it to himself.

No Money, Mo' Problems
SC: I know I'm behind on the bill, but if I could just get a extension for like a week I'ma get it all paid up.
Me: Well sir I see you've had service with us nearly a year and have only paid twice. Unfortunately I can't give you an extension.
SC: Come on man, I swear to you I'll pay, I just need help this once.
Me: I understand where you are at sir, but your payment record in the past with us has not been that great, therefore I cannot offer an extension.
SC: Oh so just because I missed a few bills I'm a deadbeat huh?
(Since when is TEN bills a "few" ?)
Me: I didn't say that.
SC: Oh I know what you're thinking. Come on man, just help me out here!
Me: I'm sorry sir I can't do that.
SC: well then get me a manager or someone who can.
(Grrrrr....)
Fortunately I got to listen to this sup call...
sup: Sir as my agent told you, you've only paid two bills in a year. If you had paid all the others but missed this one I could offer you an arrangment, but since you haven't been consistent with payments there is nothing I can do.
SC: come on man, you're the manager, how you gonna tell me you can't do nuthin! Help me out there, please, I'm begging you.
Sup: I understand it is frustrating to be without service, but unfortunately I cannot restore your phones unless you make a payment today.
SC: I don't believe this! How do you get off treating your paying customers like this?
Sup: Sir we take great pride in providing good customer service to all our paying customers. However, since we have not recieved any money from you since June, you're NOT a paying customer.
(did I mention my Sup is awesome?)
SC: Don't be rude to me like that!
Sup: I was not rude sir, I was merely stating a fact.
SC: sounded pretty rude to me.
Sup: I assure that was not my intent. Anything else I can do for you today?
SC: Yeah! give me a break and cut my phone on!
Sup: I've already told you sir that won't happen without a payment.
SC: Then let me speak to whoever is above you.
Sup: There's no one above me to speak to sir.
SC: There MUST be people above you.
Sup: There are, but those people do not take calls, if you wish to file a complaint you may send it in writing to the address on the back of page 1 of your bill and...
SC: You know what? Screw y'all. I don't need this. Stupid company. *click*
Waahmbulance Ride
I got TWO sup calls out of this issue in the same day this week, people telling me they are not using the minutes our system says they are.
(note: this particular SC was one of those "miss thang" black ladies)
SC: there's NO way I used that many minutes! You need to credit me back for those!
Me: Well I have the call records here in my system, I do see all the calls listed, entirely to numbers in your area.
SC: I couldn't have used that many minutes, it's IMPOSSIBLE.
Me: You can look at your bill online or when you get it through the mail, if you find errors on there you can tell us...
SC: I just told you the error, I didn't use those minutes!
Me: I meant if you find particular calls on there that you feel are billed incorrectly or numbers you do not recognize we can address this things. I can't simply credit your account because you don't believe you've used the minutes.
SC: Then I need to speak to a supervisor, I want my credit!
(and you believe whining like a 5 year old is going to help you get it?)
Me: Ok ma'am, just one moment.
---------
Sup: I understand but according to our system you did use those minutes, if there are certain calls you see on the bill that may be incorrect you can--
SC: Oh come on, you're just telling me what the other guy said!
Sup: Well that's because what he told you was correct.
(could it be that I'm...*gasp*..competent at my job! Yay for me

SC: Look, I did *NOT* use those minutes.
Sup: I am not saying for certain that you did. All I said was our system indicates otherwise and if you feel there are errors you can review your bill and contact us about any descrepancies.
SC: Does this mean you're not going to credit me?
Sup: No ma'am, there's no adjustment due on this account at this time.
SC: Damn, I don't believe you people. *click*
Man, you must want to kick your parents ass every day!
(I'm only using C for the customer on this one, since she was actually quite nice)
Me: And the name on the account?
C: (female voice) Anthony Brown
Me: And who am I speaking with today? (This is procedure. Whenever I have a woman call in on an account with a man's name on it or vice versa, I verify that this person is actually allowed to access the account)
C: Anthony Brown
Me: ...... (I get a "yeah, right" look on my face, there's a couple of seconds of silence on the line)
C: Look my parents wanted a boy and kept the name ok?
Me: Oh...ok. Sorry about that.
C: It's ok, happens alllll the time.
Allow me to state so clearly what all of you are no doubt thinking at this point:
Who in the blue raging hell names a girl ANTHONY??
Morons. That's who.
Thank god that week is over.
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