Conspiracy Theory

[Phone Jockey]

This wasn't one of mine, but I was reviewing an account and these notes were apparently left by a technician who stopped by a customer's house:

Notes on account: Was checking cable when customer went in detail about how he thinks someone is messing with him. He says people are driving around his house and planes are flying over it. I asked if he had called the police to see who had been driving by & he said he doesn’t trust them. He thinks they’re “in on it.” I asked if he recognized the vehicles & he says they’re people that live around there, but he thinks they’re watching him. After meeting Mr. Jones, the only way I can describe what may be going on with him is that he is living the character in Jim Carrey’s movie, The Truman Show. His life is one big conspiracy.

[Becks]

Well, I have people driving in front of MY house (one of the benefits of living, oh, I don't know, in a part of the world that has cars) and planes flying over my house (flight patterns from Teterboro and sometimes Newark airports) and I'm not some conspiracy nut.

Or am I?

[Phone Jockey]

I'm not some conspiracy nut.
Or am I?

Well obviously you are! I mean, there are planes flying by & cars around & you're not worried! Oh damn, now I'm worried for you! Big brother is watching! ROFL

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Man. I had an awful, alcoholic roomate I suspect had some mental problems and her MOM was totally paranoid and did some time in a mental hospital, along with her dad. The mom had my roomate totally believing spy planes were flying over our place.

This chick had a tough row to hoe, that's for sure.

[squall]

My father-in-law takes everything he hears on the news too literally, he is a very fearful person. He chewed out my wife for having a myspace account with her picture on it. Indeed, for many years he avoided getting the internet in the belief that child molesters and predators would try to contact him or his grown kids on it. He is a card carrying member of the NRA and carries his gun everywhere. He insists on walking his grown children out the door while armed, and when I knock on the door, he opens it with his hand on his gun. He does a visual check of the back seat before entering a vehicle, looking for possible intruders. He checked the closets of his kids' apartments when he came over for a visit, searching for intruders. He is very suspicious of minorities and is a very vocal supporter of a border wall with spotlights and armed guards, nevermind that his ancestors were once immigrants in a big new country 75 years ago. To top it all off, he thinks I'm bonkers for preferring to use a bat and my fists as home protection. Too bad I'm married to his daughter.

[nattie]

My grandmother always thought that the neighbors were shooting laser beams in at her...it was a stroke that caused that.

[Mixed Bag]

There were planes flying over my house growing up--in fact I got to see my backyard from above on one such, as we were only 7 miles from landing. Too bad I wasn't paranoid enough to have binocs in case the family or neighbours were vigourously exploiting the fresh air.

Aerial views often remind me of the Bob Newhart episode when Bob and Emily refused to go to bed due to an argument and Howard the pilot came over after getting home so very late, explaining he saw their light on when flying over.

[Phone Jockey]

Just keep in mind that there is a nearby airport in our city. Planes are gonna fly by. LOL

[Banrion]

Wow! He would really love my house in July. We are near a military training base, and in July we have all kinds of military helicopters and occasionally jets flying real low right over the house. We love to have BBQ's and watch em!

[MystyGlyttyr]

I'll tell you what makes you paranoid...waking up at 7 in the morning to an A-10 fighter jet doing doughnuts 100 feet above your headspace.

I'm not lying, either. We have a tree in our side yard that's about fifty feet tall, and this little fighter jet came screaming up, barely clearing the tree, turned a corner over it, and headed back to the air force base it came from. My mom and I both ran outside thinking we were being bombed.

[Tito]

I think that guy is just a tad paranoid.

[Twotall]

Well, I know for a FACT that they are monitoring my neighborhood!

Just a couple of days ago, I was out in the back yard when I heard a loud noise, looked up, and saw a military AEW (Airborne Early Warning) plane flying overhead, low enough that I could easily make out details like the radar disc and the engines underneath!

Now, there's no possible explanation why a radar plane would fly so low over a residential area, so naturally it must have been there to take pictures of me sunbathing.

That's probably also why they built that military airport so close to where I live, fifty years before I was born... They were preparing for my coming.

[Phone Jockey]

Twotall, they're obviously coming for you. I mean, it's so obvious.

[CanadaGirl]

Paranoia Paranoia everybody's comin to get me,
Just say you never met me,
Im running underground with the moles,
digging holes,