No Sir....No Sir...I Am Not Lying!

[Lady Heather]

I'll just repeat this as I herd it.
My boss answered the phone...
Boss: Thank you for calling XXX how may I help you?
I'm sorry sir you have the wrong store.
No sir we do not carry appliances
No sir no Microwaves
Our store has the same name as....(SC interups)
No Ovens either, sir....sir.....
(A long pause, I can tell the SC speaking but not what he's saying)
NO! Sir! We Do Not Carry Apliances!
(SC is speaking, Boss's Face goes Bright Red)
Sir! I am NOT LYING! WE DO NOT SELL APLIANCES! OUR STORE HAS THE SAME NAME AS THE ONE YOU WANT! WE DO NOT CARRY APPLIANCES!
(SC says something)
NO I DO NOT HAVE THE NUMBER FOR THEM! Try the phone book!
(Boss hangs up)
After my boss hung up we could not stop laughing.
The SC had demanded to speak to her boss because: "you are lying! You just don't want to help me!"
I feel sorry for whoever had to deal with him next. If he ever got the right number.

[Tito]

LOL.... where I work, I have to fill in on the switchboard for the operator's breaks & days off, and I always get people who dialed the wrong number. Most of the time, they accept it, & hang up, but I also get people like that guy. For example, I had this one lady a couple years back:

Me: Good afternoon, *company name*.
Lady: Is this *company name*?
Me: I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.
Lady: But this is the number I was given!
Me: I'm sorry, but you have the wrong number.
Lady: But this is the number I was given!
Me: Maam, it's the wrong number.
Lady: Okay... *hangs up*

2 minutes later:

Me: Good afternoon, *company name*.
Lady: *sigh* is this the same person I was just speaking to?
Me: Yes, it is.
Lady: I am looking for *company name*.
Me: *slightly aggravated at this point* Maam, I'm sorry, this is the wrong number.
Lady: But this is the number I was given!
Me: *head desk* I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you. This is the wrong number.
Lady: Okay. *hangs up*

Thankfully, she did not call back. I think that I would have screamed if she did. I'm kind of surprised she did not ask me if I had a phone book. I've had people do that as well when they dial our number by mistake.

[CancelMyService]

When I worked for the county, we'd get two kinds of calls:

1. People who thought "Property Assessment" was the place you go to when you're released from jail and you want your stuff back.

2. People who wanted another department and just called the first one listed, which in at least one phone book was "Assessment".

We had the numbers for most other departments so it wasn't usually a huge deal, but some people would just be absolutely irate that the number they were told to call was incorrect.

[crazylegs]

My old office had a seperate line, very useful at times, unfortunately the local hospital printed around ten tousand flyers with its (my office) number on instead of the hospital department. Cue much hilarity with people wanting to change/cancel/make appointments for their hospital ailments. I had several stock answers
No.
Sorry you have the wrong number
No you cant cancel an apointment
No I dont have the right number, its a printing error
No I cant find out for you, try directory enquiries
No sir, this isn't the hospital, no sir, it isn't, no really it isn't, no you can't change your appointment, no sir it isn't.

Deep Joy

[fma_fanatic]

We have about 200 extensions in our office, and at the moment, 140 of them are in use. So it never fails that someone will misdial and get one of the extensions not in use.

So in a typical day I will get:

Me: Good morning, thank you for calling *company name* this is FMA_Fanatic, how may I help you.

SC: is this *insert name of company or person they want*

Me: No I'm sorry, you have the wrong number

SC: are you sure? *rattles off number, including unused extension*

Me: That is the right number you dialed; however, it is the number to an extension in our office that isn't in use at the moment.

Most of the time they accept that and thank me. I do get the ones who want to argue the point with me and tell me that they KNOW they dialed the right number and that they want to speak to who they were intending to call RIGHT NOW! All I can do is tell them that they have the wrong number and hope that they will finally get the point.

[BookstoreEscapee]

So what do you sell, anyway? Cuz I'm in the market for a microwave...

[mattm04]

The supermarket i work for has the auto-attendant. The options are: 1 - directly dial an extension, 2-9 departments, 0 CS desk. We get people who manage to not hear the Company Name in the opening, dial a department and then realize they called the wrong supermarket.

The ones that bother me the most are the idiots who call the main number, press 2-9 get connected with dep. X, realize they want someone from dept. Y when dept X answers and hang up, call main number and try again. If you are going to make me answer the phone, i don't mind hitting the "Transfer" button, i do mind wasting my time.

[Nephy]

At my last job, our phone number was one number off from the University of Colorado's main information line, and our name was very very similar (it was a church).

Okay, so people make mistakes. I'm okay with that. Heck, I've dialed the wrong number before.

But please, for the love of all that is holy, why can't you understand that I am perfectly capable of knowing which business I am currently employed at, and have a super-fabulous ability to know where I don't work.

Why must you insist on arguing with me?

Just for arguments sake, lets say that you are correct, and I am, in fact, working for the University, only blissfully unaware of it... are you still interested in me answering your question? I'm pretty sure my answer would be something along the line of "Waffles! *giggle*" Not anything remotely correct or useful.

And to the asshat that called a few months ago and argued with me on whether or not we were the "411 directory."
Yes, our phone number ends in 411.. but there are seven other numbers that you dialed before 411. Did you seriously not notice that? Did you have a spaz attack right before you decided you needed directory assistance? And no, I won't look up the number for you. Yes, yes, I am capable of looking up a number for you (look ma! I've got the internet!), I just don't want to.

[Andara Bledin]

My company's main phone line is either one off from a number that was on the back of some boxed food, or the boxes were mis-printed with our number on them. And I know that one of our rotary lines used to belong to a medical lab. Plus, there was someone who spoke Spanish that gave out our number instead of theirs on a rather regular basis.

The food box people were usually confused but polite. The med lab people were usually really stupid, but mostly polite. The ones who spoke only Spanish ran the gamut from just confused, to too stupid to not call the same freaking number 10 times in a row hoping to get some other answer.

Oh, and hangups deserve to be slapped with a noodle-wrapped tuna every time they do it.

^-.-^

[XCashier]

Me: I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.
Lady: But this is the number I was given!
Me: I'm sorry, but you have the wrong number.
Lady: But this is the number I was given!

"Well, then, you were given the wrong number!" Like, duh.

[Lady Heather]

So what do you sell, anyway? Cuz I'm in the market for a microwave...

My Boss did say if he called back I could awnser with: I'm sorry sir but the only apliences we sell are vibrators.
To bad he didn't call back.

[Polenicus]

I've got one, and I wasn't even at work.

Now, some time ago, when I lived in Vancouver, the very first phone number I got used to belong to a company on Vancouver Island. I can't remember the name, so let's just call them 'Superior Engineering'. From what I can glean, they custom-machined parts to a customer's specifications... you know, if you need a certain type of valve for an irrigation system or part for a ventilation system or whatever, I'm guessing.

Anyway, my first 8 months were RIFE with these calls. I made very sure to state on my answering machine message 'You've reached XXX-XXX-XXXX, the residence of Polenicus...'. Still I would get calls and messages.

Then I moved, and changed my number, and figured the calls would stop. Nope! You see, since my phone account was technically the same, the number just changed because I moved out of the area, the phone company put an automated message when my old number was dialed. You know, 'The number you have dialed has been changed. The new number is...' etc.

And so, about 3 months after moving into my new place, I got the Alberta Wonder. I call him that because he was calling from Alberta, hence why I didn't call him back right away (Long distance, and I was poor).

His first call, he managed to ignore my answering machine message (Though he picked up my name from it) and asked about a quote for engineering some kind of piece of equipment... I can't remember what it is now. I chuckled when I first heard the message, and left it, figuring he'd go somewhere else when no one got back to him.

Noooo, for Alberta Wonder is persistent! He called back a couple of days later asking for me to get back to him on this, as it was an urgent issue. He was calling while I was at work, so there was no chance to intercept his call. Again he went right past the whole 'RESIDENCE of Polenicus', yet managed to glean my name. Again I shrugged.

The calls didn't stop.

For two weeks he called, pretty much every other day, getting more and more irate that I wasn't getting back to him, that I should have someone manning the phones, that this was no way to run a business, all the while enduring that 'This is the RESIDENCE of...' answering machine message. He urgently needed this part after all!

After the final message, where he was borderline yelling and demanding I call him back, I finally decided enough was enough. I ate the long distance charges and called him.

AB - Alberta Wonder
Me - Our Hero

AB - Hello, *Some name I don't remember, some position I don't care about, some company that should really research its contractors better*

Me - Hi, this is Polenicus. You've been calling me for the past two weeks and leaving messages on my answering machine.

AB - Polenicus! You're a very difficult man to get a hold of! Don't you have a secretary or something to answer your phones?

Me - Yeah, well that might be because this is a private residence. I'm not Superior Engineering. I never was. I used to have their number, but changed it because of all the calls (Not strictly true, but I was pissed and twisting the knife). This number is not and never has belonged to Superior Engineering.

AB - Oh...

Me - Didn't the line about this being the RESIDENCE of Polenicus, and no mention of a custom parts manufacturing firm tip you off after the third or fourth call?

AB - Well... do you have their new number?

To be honest, he was appropriately sheepish about that, and I asked him if he ever DID track them down if he could phone me and give me the number for Superior Engineering, so I could add it to my answering machine message for the next guy who called and wouldn't take 'Private Residence' for an answer.

[UppityWoman]

But it's on my caller ID!

I work in a grocery store and, as a courtesy, we often let customers use one of our CS phones since we no longer have pay phones. So our store number ends up on caller ID's all over the place.

I just love answering the phone, "xxx store, may I help you?"

Caller: "Someone just called me from there."

Me: "Well, do you know who it might be?" or alternately, "Do you know anyone who works here"

Caller: "No, but someone just called me from there!"

Me: "Sir, this is a grocery store, I have no idea who it might have been."

Caller: "Who's there?"

Me: "About 300 people, this is a GROCERY STORE!"


Caller: reply usually something I can't print.

AAAAARRRGGGHHHH! If they wanted to leave you a freakin message they would have!

[protege]

Ugh. It's even *worse* when another *employee* of your company calls to do that...

Little background for you. Several years ago, one of the offices I worked in actually housed 2 separate companies. Both had their own separate phone systems, that were *not* connected.

About 2 years after I started, both companies merged. However, they kept the separate phones--at the time, it was "too expensive" to rip things out and start over. Most people were pretty nice about having to hang up, and dial the other extensions, since we had no way to transfer them.

...but not this guy.

This guy (who was an asshole, BTW), happened to be the company president He was literally *screaming* at me to transfer him, and kept insisting I was lying because I could *not* transfer him...going on and on about how I was an "idiot," "lazy," "didn't know what I was talking about," etc. Yeah, *I'm* the idiot here

Needless to say, I didn't stay long. After getting "1099-ed" and shafted in general, I got tired of it and quit. Fuck them.



*1099 is the IRS form dealing with tax withholdings--those idiots had decided not to withhold our taxes...meaning we all got hit with massive income taxes that year.

[Andara Bledin]

*1099 is the IRS form dealing with tax withholdings--those idiots had decided not to withhold our taxes...meaning we all got hit with massive income taxes that year.

Basically, the 1099 means that the employee has to do their own withholding. Unless you are specifically a contractor, nobody should go with such a situation unless they have no other choice at all.

I've yet to meet someone who understood the concept of doing personal withholding and my 1099 jobs never netted enough for me to actually end up owing anything, so I didn't have to bother with it.

^-.-^