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Do you remember the day when claiming "false advertising" would get you that wildly expensive item that you have your heart set on for free? I sure don't! Do you remember the day when customers were trusted as cherished family members by big-box businesses? I sure don't, and I'm sure that this customer didn't either. Regardless, she attempted to make her case in the most eloquent way she knows how.
The Characters:
The Setting:
I don't work in a big-box chain greenhouse or homeware store. I am a part of an independent big-box greenhouse/homeware/pet store that makes more money than Wal Mart on a good day, and pays it's employees accordingly. The pet store,. though a measly three aisles, houses the best employees (of course, with me being there!) and is a world unto itself. I rarely venture out into the "big" store unless there is a real problem or the bird (who resides at the front of the pet store) decides to attack a customer.
The Story:
IS: over the loudspeaker Kate to the info desk please, Kate to the info desk.
ME: rushes over to see DW and SDW holding a specialty Betta Bowl that I had created. It contains a Betta, peace lily and some funky decorations. The price tag, which I had put on that morning, was gone. I noticed this instantly. Hi there! What can I help you with?
DW: How much is this?
ME: Oh! Well, it looks like the price tag has been torn off. Just let me do a few calculations to double check. I grab a calculator and go through the cost of everything with her: bowl + lily + decorations + fish = $32.99
SDW: ducks UNDER her mother and checks the bottom of the bowl, as if not believing me and checking for a label which, for some reason, would be on the UNDERSIDE of something filled with water. There's a sticker here that says $11.99. pops her gum and raises her eyebrows at me.
ME: Really?! Well that's strange because I made this a few hours ago and didn't put a sticker on it! checks. There is, indeed, a sticker. Unfortunately, it's not one of our pricetags. It's from the hardware store across the street. Unfortunately I can't give this to you for $11.99 as that isn't one of our stickers.
SDW: Oh, alright. Well, if we were to take this home what sort of care would it include?
ME: Let me take you into the pet store and I'll walk you through the water changing process and get you set up with everything that you need!
So we do that, and she discovers that she needs a fishnet, some water conditioner and some fish food. All together, this would cost about $6.
SDW: Oh please, Mom? It would look so good in my bedroom! Oh, but can you put a pink lily in it?
ME: Unfortunately the peace lilies only come in white. I could, however, put a pink antherium in there! But, those flowers are about $15 more expensive.
DW: Alright, we'll take it!
ME: Sounds good, just let me get it all put together... can you do some more shopping and come back in about half an hour?
DW and SDW go on their merry way, leaving me gasping for some non-nicotinish air. I put the bowl together and do a GREAT job on it. They come to pick it up and leave for the tills. Then...
IS: Kate to till 4 please, Kate to till 4.
I walk up to the till to find this woman red in the face, and her daughter in tears. Uh oh....
DW: The vase is broken.
ME: Oh dear! I'm so sorry about that! at this point I'm SURE that she broke it and wants a discount!! I can either give you a $5 discount or I could put it into a new vase for you! We agree on a new vase, and I spent another 15 minutes putting the damn thing together for her.
S: is one VERY stressed out fish, after being transferred from one home to another over and over and over! I finally finish and the woman walks through the till. I take her through the till MYSELF to avoid any more confusion and SC-ness/
DW: WHY is this bill over FIFTY DOLLARS?!!!
ME: Well, I would gladly walk you through it. Shows her the breakdown of the betta bowl, accessories and the new plant.
DW: No, that's not right. You said that you were going to give it to me for $11.99 with a 5% discount!
ME: No, actually, we had discussed a discount OR a new vase, and I had told you that the pricetag wasn't there earlier today. It's actually not from our store, it's from the hardware store across the street.
SDW: That's BULLSH-T!!! WHY WOULD WE PUT A F-CKING HARDWARESTORE LABEL ON THE STUPID F-CKING FISH BOWL?!
ME: I'm not accusing you at all! It could have been somebody's idea of a joke!
DW: Well this is just F-CKING retarded. It's false advertising. I refuse to pay that much for a stupid fish.
S: bubble. cute cute CUTE fishie! I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME WITH THESE PEOPLE!
Me: Well ma'am, as we discussed, this is the final price of the fish bowl.
DW: These fish are only $4 at otherpetstore!!
ME: Well, at otherpetstore the fish come sedated and dulled. Their life expectancy is only half as long as the ones from our store AND they don't come in bowls with plants like this one.
DW: Yeah, well this is false advertising you f-cking moron! What, are you slow or something? Get me your manager!
ME: Well, you're talking to her!
DW: There's NO F-CKING WAY IN H-LL that you're a MANAGER. Managers are meant to make sure I GET THE BEST PRICE!!! THIS IS F-CKING FALSE ADVERTISING!! THE LABEL SAYS $11.99!!!
ME: Look ma'am, there's nothing that I can do about it. We have a zero tolerance policy at the store and at this point, you're breaching it. I'm going to have to ask you to leave. We don't have a policy like that, but I was sick of dealing with her.
DW: THIS IS BULLSH-T! I DEMAND A REFUND! she is tearing her receipt to shreds at this point. As it so happens, she needs this receipt to get a refund.
ME: smartass Well, that's impossible as you just shredded your receipt. I need a proof of purchase in order to give you a refund. It says so on that sign, and I wouldn't want to set an example of false advertising.
DW: F-CK YOU YOU F-CKING B-TCH! [i]THROWS the fish bowl onto the floor in front of another customer's stroller. The twins in the stroller get splashed with water and the mother looks horrified.
S: flops around on the floor gasping for air. Poor fish.
DW: grabs her daughter by the arm and walks out.
Ah, that was quite a day. I have three secrets for you:
1. I am not a manager. My manager, however, was not in the store and I just wanted to keep the situation contained.
2. I picked up the fish with my bare hands and managed to save him, then had to clean the broken glass out of the stroller.
3. The woman was back a week later to buy dog food from me and slashed open a good 7 bags of our most expensive product. The lesson learned?
Being a smartass doesn't pay, and sometimes people suck.
The Characters:
- ME: the peppy pet-store princess.
- DW: the demon woman who smells like drunk nicotine.
- SDW: the spawn of the demon woman, 13 years old wearing something only Britney Spears could see the appeal of.
- S: the Betta Fish in question, let's call him Simon.
- IS: the wildly superfantastic info staff member who answers questions about plants and acts as a customer service representative!
The Setting:
I don't work in a big-box chain greenhouse or homeware store. I am a part of an independent big-box greenhouse/homeware/pet store that makes more money than Wal Mart on a good day, and pays it's employees accordingly. The pet store,. though a measly three aisles, houses the best employees (of course, with me being there!) and is a world unto itself. I rarely venture out into the "big" store unless there is a real problem or the bird (who resides at the front of the pet store) decides to attack a customer.
The Story:
IS: over the loudspeaker Kate to the info desk please, Kate to the info desk.
ME: rushes over to see DW and SDW holding a specialty Betta Bowl that I had created. It contains a Betta, peace lily and some funky decorations. The price tag, which I had put on that morning, was gone. I noticed this instantly. Hi there! What can I help you with?
DW: How much is this?
ME: Oh! Well, it looks like the price tag has been torn off. Just let me do a few calculations to double check. I grab a calculator and go through the cost of everything with her: bowl + lily + decorations + fish = $32.99
SDW: ducks UNDER her mother and checks the bottom of the bowl, as if not believing me and checking for a label which, for some reason, would be on the UNDERSIDE of something filled with water. There's a sticker here that says $11.99. pops her gum and raises her eyebrows at me.
ME: Really?! Well that's strange because I made this a few hours ago and didn't put a sticker on it! checks. There is, indeed, a sticker. Unfortunately, it's not one of our pricetags. It's from the hardware store across the street. Unfortunately I can't give this to you for $11.99 as that isn't one of our stickers.
SDW: Oh, alright. Well, if we were to take this home what sort of care would it include?
ME: Let me take you into the pet store and I'll walk you through the water changing process and get you set up with everything that you need!
So we do that, and she discovers that she needs a fishnet, some water conditioner and some fish food. All together, this would cost about $6.
SDW: Oh please, Mom? It would look so good in my bedroom! Oh, but can you put a pink lily in it?
ME: Unfortunately the peace lilies only come in white. I could, however, put a pink antherium in there! But, those flowers are about $15 more expensive.
DW: Alright, we'll take it!
ME: Sounds good, just let me get it all put together... can you do some more shopping and come back in about half an hour?
DW and SDW go on their merry way, leaving me gasping for some non-nicotinish air. I put the bowl together and do a GREAT job on it. They come to pick it up and leave for the tills. Then...
IS: Kate to till 4 please, Kate to till 4.
I walk up to the till to find this woman red in the face, and her daughter in tears. Uh oh....
DW: The vase is broken.
ME: Oh dear! I'm so sorry about that! at this point I'm SURE that she broke it and wants a discount!! I can either give you a $5 discount or I could put it into a new vase for you! We agree on a new vase, and I spent another 15 minutes putting the damn thing together for her.
S: is one VERY stressed out fish, after being transferred from one home to another over and over and over! I finally finish and the woman walks through the till. I take her through the till MYSELF to avoid any more confusion and SC-ness/
DW: WHY is this bill over FIFTY DOLLARS?!!!
ME: Well, I would gladly walk you through it. Shows her the breakdown of the betta bowl, accessories and the new plant.
DW: No, that's not right. You said that you were going to give it to me for $11.99 with a 5% discount!
ME: No, actually, we had discussed a discount OR a new vase, and I had told you that the pricetag wasn't there earlier today. It's actually not from our store, it's from the hardware store across the street.
SDW: That's BULLSH-T!!! WHY WOULD WE PUT A F-CKING HARDWARESTORE LABEL ON THE STUPID F-CKING FISH BOWL?!
ME: I'm not accusing you at all! It could have been somebody's idea of a joke!
DW: Well this is just F-CKING retarded. It's false advertising. I refuse to pay that much for a stupid fish.
S: bubble. cute cute CUTE fishie! I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME WITH THESE PEOPLE!
Me: Well ma'am, as we discussed, this is the final price of the fish bowl.
DW: These fish are only $4 at otherpetstore!!
ME: Well, at otherpetstore the fish come sedated and dulled. Their life expectancy is only half as long as the ones from our store AND they don't come in bowls with plants like this one.
DW: Yeah, well this is false advertising you f-cking moron! What, are you slow or something? Get me your manager!
ME: Well, you're talking to her!
DW: There's NO F-CKING WAY IN H-LL that you're a MANAGER. Managers are meant to make sure I GET THE BEST PRICE!!! THIS IS F-CKING FALSE ADVERTISING!! THE LABEL SAYS $11.99!!!
ME: Look ma'am, there's nothing that I can do about it. We have a zero tolerance policy at the store and at this point, you're breaching it. I'm going to have to ask you to leave. We don't have a policy like that, but I was sick of dealing with her.
DW: THIS IS BULLSH-T! I DEMAND A REFUND! she is tearing her receipt to shreds at this point. As it so happens, she needs this receipt to get a refund.
ME: smartass Well, that's impossible as you just shredded your receipt. I need a proof of purchase in order to give you a refund. It says so on that sign, and I wouldn't want to set an example of false advertising.
DW: F-CK YOU YOU F-CKING B-TCH! [i]THROWS the fish bowl onto the floor in front of another customer's stroller. The twins in the stroller get splashed with water and the mother looks horrified.
S: flops around on the floor gasping for air. Poor fish.
DW: grabs her daughter by the arm and walks out.
Ah, that was quite a day. I have three secrets for you:
1. I am not a manager. My manager, however, was not in the store and I just wanted to keep the situation contained.
2. I picked up the fish with my bare hands and managed to save him, then had to clean the broken glass out of the stroller.
3. The woman was back a week later to buy dog food from me and slashed open a good 7 bags of our most expensive product. The lesson learned?
Being a smartass doesn't pay, and sometimes people suck.
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