Oldie but goodie!

[Imogene]

I don't know why this story popped into my head, but it did.
Excuse me while the stagehands set the scene...
Chesterfield store, one random night, with both the Old SM and Nice AM working with me.
Right at 9:00, the phone rings.
M: *grabs it since AM and SM are standing in the doorway talking* " *store*, this is Juwl, how may I help you?"
P: "Do you know the phone number to Ms. Field's cookies?"
M: *blink, blink* "Uh, no."
P: "Can you transfer me to their store."
M: "Once again, that would be a no."
P: "Well, how late are they open?"
M: "I can only assume they are open until 9:30, just like the rest of the mall, however, I know they close a little before to start giving away extra cookies."
P: "Why don't you know their phone number?"
M: "Well, cause we're not even on the same level as Ms. Field's in the mall, much less the same wing. Hold on a moment." *pull phone away from mouth* "Hey, SM, what's the number for mall directory?"
S: "867-5309."
M: *to phone* "Call 867-5309, they can get you the number for Ms. Field's."
P: *to someone in the room* "Try 867-5309."
M: "Anything else?"
P: *click*
So I relate the story to the managers, who got a good laugh out of it as well.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"Why don't you know their phone number?"

"Um..for the same reason YOU don't?"

[toolbert]

How are you supposed to transfer them to the new number? What did they expect you to do put them on hold, call mrs fields and then act like their secretary? Why don't they just ask you to phone in the order for them? Gah, the nerve of some people...

[Dark Psion]

I was in the office making coppies and overheard this one.

Hello, this is True Value, how can we help you?

No, this is True Value,....A hardware store.

No, we are a hardware store,....yes, I am sure.

No, I do not know their phone number,....That is our number,.....yes, I am sure.

No, I cannot transfer you to them,......because that is not how phones work. You will have to call them yourself,.....yes, I am sure.

No, That is our number, if you hang up and call it again you will just call back here,.....yes, I am sure. (notice a theme here?)

Here is the number you want, ###-####,.....yes, I am sure, just call that number.

[wagegoth]

Currently, I'm working Saturdays for the law firm. One of the main duties is answering the main phone line.

Typical call:

WG: [Our firm, location]

SC: *usually with a very heavy accent* Can I talk to [someone who is not an employee].

WG: I'm sorry, I don't have that person on my phone list. This is [Our firm]. Is this the company you were trying to reach?

SC: *if I'm lucky* Oh, sorry, wrong number. *click*

SC: *if I'm not lucky* What company? What company?

WG: [Our firm]

SC: Where are you?

WG: [Street and City]

SC: Oh, where? Oh, not [one of a dozen local cities]

WG: No. Were you trying to reach [our firm]?

SC: [someone who is not an employee] is not there?

WG: I have done a search firm-wide on our directory and no one by that name is listed.

SC: Did you search under [same first name but new last name]?

WG: I searched by the first name only. No one with that first name is listed. I'm sorry, I'm afraid you have the wrong number.

SC: Oh, okay. Oh, okay. No one by that name?

WG: No one by that name. I'm sorry, good-bye.

There are multiple variations on this every Saturday. And they always seem to call when I'm busy, of course.

[XCashier]

Why is it that SCs expect that just because you work in a mall store, you must know every detail of every store in said mall?!

When I worked at the Novelty Store at the Run-Down Mall, some idiot called me to ask what time a certain movie was playing at the Mall Theater. When I told her I didn't know, she replied with "Why don't you go out and look?! Good idea, huh?!" I bit back what I wanted to say and told her I wasn't allowed to leave my store, she gave me more attitude and hung up.

What I wanted to say was, "Why don't you look up the theater in the phone book and call them? Even better idea, huh?!"

[karma_gypsy]

No, we are a hardware store,....yes, I am sure.

No, I do not know their phone number,....That is our number,.....yes, I am sure.

No, I cannot transfer you to them,......because that is not how phones work. You will have to call them yourself,.....yes, I am sure.

I've gotten a couple of those "are you sure?" questions over the phone myself. It's so hard not to be sarcastic with those people.

[Imogene]

"Why don't you know their phone number?"

"Um..for the same reason YOU don't?"

Actually, now that I think about it, she DID ask me how she could get Mrs. Field's phone number. And my first thought was "How'd you get ours? Phone Book!"

[HawaiianShirts]

Why is it that SCs expect that just because you work in a mall store, you must know every detail of every store in said mall?!

Or when you work in a call center that you know the number for every company that uses a call center for their customer service or order lines?

In my short six months doing inbound infomercial sales and credit card apps in a call center, I lost track of how many times A DAY I had a wrong number ask if I knew the number for some random company and if I could transfer them. I had one guy almost give me his credit card number (after name, phone number, address, product selection, and shipping method selection) before realizing he wasn't talking to the nurse's station in his local hospital. Had some lady demand to speak to a manager because I told her I did not have the number for her favorite Chinese restaurant.

I think it was mostly confusion on their part, though.

One funny call was a nice older lady. Her granddaughter had just taught her how to text message on her new cell phone. Then she tried to call one of those 1-800-ORDER-IT numbers (with letters where the numbers go). She got confused. She thought dialing that was like text messaging where you hit the number key once for the first letter, twice for the second, three for the third, and so on, so that 1-800-ORDER-IT would have come out like 1-800-666-777-3-33-777-444-8. She asked if I happened to know the right number, so I looked at my keypad and figured it out for her, but she was a friendly exception.

And then there are the people who are suspicious of numbers like 1-800-ORDER-STUFF because they have too many numbers, but that's a story for a different thread.

[Seanette]

And then there are the people who are suspicious of numbers like 1-800-ORDER-STUFF because they have too many numbers, but that's a story for a different thread.

Maybe I'm not too swift today , but how would you dial something like that?

[Gurndigarn]

And then there are the people who are suspicious of numbers like 1-800-ORDER-STUFF because they have too many numbers, but that's a story for a different thread.

Maybe I'm not too swift today , but how would you dial something like that?

You cut it off once you have the requisite number of digits. In this case, 1-800-ORDER-ST.

[Retail's Bitch]

I got that a few months back...

SC: Stupid caller.
Me: RB

SC: Hey.. are you guys on highway such and such?
Me: Yes...
SC: Do you know the phone number of the children's consignment store up the road from you?
Me: No...
SC: Oh... You don't happen to know the name of it do you? Or what the name of the road it's on?
Me: No...
SC: Oh. Well you couldn't look it up for me could you?
Me: Um I suppose I could, but I don't know what it's called or what road it's on.
SC: Oh... Well thanks for your help! (sarcastically.)

*click*

[Pagan]

You call our number, you get a recording that says, "Thank you for calling Hasting's on the SW corner of Wyoming and Montgomery....other stuff, press 1 to talk to an employee."

We answer the phone, "Thank you for calling Hasting's on the corner of Wyoming and Montgomery, this is Pagan, how may I direct your call?"

Invariably, after their question has been answered, they will ask where we're located. After hearing it twice already. Third time's the charm?

[ladyklack]

I love stupid phone calls, I used to get them all the time at my old job because we had two stores in the same town, and 411 sometimes messed up which store was which. My favorite phone call of all time was:

Me: Thank you for calling .......
SC: Yeah, are you the store in the mall?
Me: No, we're on the other side of town from them, would you like their phone number?
SC: No, just transfer me. (Notice the lack of a please)
Me: Ummm, they're on the other side of town, But I can give you their phone number.
SC: But you are the same company right?
Me: Yes, but....
SC: (cuts me off) then there is no reason why you cannot transfer me.
Me: Ma'am, (for the third time) they are across town from us, our phones are not connected.
SC: Clearly you don't want to help me! (did I not offer you the phone number????)
Then she hangs up on me.

[protege]

Me: Ma'am, (for the third time) they are across town from us, our phones are not connected.
SC: Clearly you don't want to help me! (did I not offer you the phone number????)

At one of the companies I used to work for, we had this happen quite a bit. At one time, there were two different firms in our building. Two different companies on two different floors with two different phone systems. At the time, things were left like that, simply because it was too expensive to switch everything. Eventually, the older system finally died, so both of them were torn out and replaced. But, before that happened, nearly every day some idiot would complain that we couldn't transfer their call.

What *really* pissed us off, is that the *president* (a real bastard, BTW) of our firm called one day and asked for someone downstairs. I tried to tell him that I couldn't transfer him, and he'd have to call back on the other line. I hadn't even told him the number before he flipped out on me

He *demanded* I transfer the call, and screamed at me again when I told him that I couldn't. Keep in mind that this fool had been to the office, and had been informed about what was going on. Rather than listen to him complain, I simply hung up. At the time, I didn't get paid enough for that. Good thing he got canned after that