Why I'm apparently racist (damn my being a woman!)

[purplemoose84]

So I think I should be given a freak'n medal for not punching out a customer. He kept asking about hardwood flooring (I'm assuming that most ppl know that 2x4's are not considered hardwood flooring .. apparently I was wrong). First he was a little pissy b/c I had other customers I was working with and wouldn't just drop everything to attend to him... That I'm a female who corrected him. He kept pointing to the pictures in the how to book that showed 2x4s to build a sub floor (essentially a wooden floor raised a little above the cement foundation) saying he wanted something like that. hard only comes 3/4 inch thick and most and is dyed ontop. you can refinish it (sand it basicly) and put a differnt stain on it. Well me trying to explain this while using my skills from pysc class (active listening... when you say x, what I understand it to be is Y to me is this correct?). He points to pict that has the title above it of "How to build a wooden subfloor" I kid you not that was title. I turned to Mr.Bill and asked if he knew anything about building a sub floor. the Customer went off. I was told I know nothing, Home Depot shouldn't allow ppl like me to work there, that if I don't want to come to work that day, don't take out on someone asking for help, not to give him that attitude, how dare I misinterpret what he said to another worker, that I do not do any real work here (Ha! I more work than anyone else in my department!), that Home Depot doesn't give ppl training or if they did I was either stupid or didnt pay attention, and (my favorite) I'm racist. I should not discriminant against him just b/c he's of Indian heritage, he's an American citizen and has the same rights as I do ect.

Needless to say not only did I get a manager I got the store manager who worked flooring before taking on the path to management. I was so mad I was shaking. Sorry I'm still pissed at that guy
essentially he's pissed b/c I corrected him. I hid in the office near the front end where all of our how to books are sold and heard the SM talking to him. When the evil customer pointed out that I had corrected him and how aweful that was of me, my SM actually said sir we train all of our associates but especially specialty sales associates and that I did everything by the book. Evil customer (EC)was not pleased b/c I could him arguing with SM that I shouldn't have corrected him. When promoted why I shouldn't have corrected him, evil customer would not come out and say it but made clear that I shouldn't have corrected him b/c I am a woman. If you want to come to America good for you. But it's not fair to hold double standards. I never once insulted him, never once was rude. Hell the black customer Mr. Bill had been working with when the EC pulled the "race" card. EC even chased off two other customers b/c his nastiness to me! But two thoughts were stuck in head as I hid out in the front end office: one: if he really was an American citizen he should know better than to get pissy. He was upset basically b/c i told him he was wrong. in his culture as a woman my telling him he was wrong would have been seen as being extremely rude. But if he's American by birth he should understand by now (assuming he was raised here) that women have the same rights as men and that we can work retail and we can correct customers. However, judging by his accent he was an immigrant, which means to be a US a citizen he had to be here 7 years... after 7 fucking years in this country he cannot claim cultural ignorance sorry! You don't like me trying to help you (b/c I'm a woman) b/c you have no god damned clue what you are talking about. If a flooring associate explain to you, the reader, what wood flooring was, that the thickest it comes is 3/4 inch thick I'm assuming most of you would revise your beliefs on hardwood flooring. ... This all happen 2 days ago but I'm still pissed grrrrr!

[Pezzle]

The amount of Indian customers I got at CCity as a computer technician was staggering, since I live in New Jersey. Now, this isn't a bad thing since I don't usually discriminate. Yet, 3 times out of 4 they'd ask me repeatedly for the technician even when I said I was the technician. They'd then ask me to talk to HIM and not me... even though I was the only one in the store. They either walked or rolled their eyes and tried to haggle with me.

It was AMAZING.

[Raieth]

yeah when I worked at crappy tire I was in hardware. The funny thing was I new more about power tools then all my other coworkers (except the manager of hardware).

So when I helped an indian customer and they ask a man for advice I usually got one to come over. Just so that "man" would say that they new nothing about it and that the person they really needed to talk to about it was me.

The looks on their faces were priceless. Somewhere between amazment and disgust.

[Fawn]

Wow... just wow...
This topic makes me angry because of the ignorance and stupidity surrounding it!
Next time he comes in, get the chainsaw out!

[protege]

I bet it took quite a bit not to *beat* him with a 2x4....

[Emrld]

It is not ignorant or stupid . . . it is a cultural difference.
This is a person that was raised in a different place. Where he is from the women have a place and the men have a place.
True, he should be at a point by now where he is comfortable enough to specifically ask for a male employee.
True as a female I find it offensive that a part of our population looks down on me just because of my gender. However, I have to remember they were raised differently . . .by being respectful I am at least helping that male to be able to come closer to learning the American way.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yeah, he was raised in a different place. A DIFFERENT place. Not this place. Things are different here. If he's too stupid to figure that out, he needs to learn with a quickness, or his time here is going to be difficult to say the least.

[tangrid]

It is not ignorant or stupid . . . it is a cultural difference.
This is a person that was raised in a different place. Where he is from the women have a place and the men have a place.
True, he should be at a point by now where he is comfortable enough to specifically ask for a male employee.
True as a female I find it offensive that a part of our population looks down on me just because of my gender. However, I have to remember they were raised differently . . .by being respectful I am at least helping that male to be able to come closer to learning the American way.

Actually, regardless of the fact that it's a cultural difference, ignorant is exactly what he is. He chooses to ignore the fact that women may actually know what they're talking about. Yes, I was raised in the U.S., and yes, I was always taught to be respectful to women, which I'm sure he wasn't. But just because you're raised a certain way doesn't mean you should stay that way indefinitely. Good examples: racist parents, abusive parents, dishonest parents, and of course sexist parents. Sure it puts the kid at a disadvantage, and people have a harder time changing after they become 'adults' but c'mon, if you can't improve yourself, you may as well pack up and go home (not leave the country, I mean just stay in your damn house and leave the rest of us alone) [/rant]

[Jewels]

I dunno...it kinda sounds like you pulled the Gender Card here. You can't really assume that the reason why he didn't want to work with you was because you are a girl...maybe he didn't appreciate the pysch talk? Maybe he thought that you were talking down to him? Maybe he was having a bad retail day? You can't just assume that a male from a different heritage is being sexist.

[Emrld]

I am not in dissagreement that people who move to this country should adapt to an American way of life.
But lets be realistic, it isn't going to happen overnight. This is the Melting Pot for a reason . . . many cultures blending together to create what we have today.
I am not condoning the behavior . . . I am saying lets be the bigger person and show a little understanding in that this was a man who was raised that what he did was ok. If people get in his face and berate him for it, pride will become a factor and change will be delayed.

[Posture Moll]

<i>I am not in dissagreement that people who move to this country should adapt to an American way of life.
But lets be realistic, it isn't going to happen overnight.

Nor in seven years, apparently.

If people get in his face and berate him for it, pride will become a factor and change will be delayed.

I don't know...a little public humiliation would probably work wonders. Why would he bother to change his behaviour if jelly-spined people keep kow-towing to him?

[Brightglaive]

This whole type of thing BURNS me up!!

When the female techs on my team get this kind of thing I will offer to help them deal with the a$$hat that's calling. The way I handle it is this: I will ask the customer what the issue is. If they ask the same or similar question that they asked my Female tech I tell them, " Well Sir/Ma'am, " (yes I have had women second guess my female techs)" What agent X told you was precisely correct. She is a fully-trained and competent tech. Was there some reason you didn't believe what she said?" Usually this is about the time they start to back down. You see I'm the bull with the bigger horns. Mess with the bull and you get those horns.

What's funny is if they start to argue the information I can usually bury them with supporting documentation. If they still don't believe I will tell them that they will receive an e-mail regarding this that serves as their documentary proof that what they've been told is correct. If they choose not to believe me then, (usually by asking for my manager or the next level tech) I'll tell them, "I AM the tech manager. If you don't like the answer and don't believe the documentation I have sent you then I'm sorry. It is this way and that doesn't change regardless of what you do or do not like."

I bet it took quite a bit not to *beat* him with a 2x4....

At some point I like to LART (loser attitude readjustment tool) the SC. At this point the 2x4 actually becomes the clue-by-four. If you beat him maybe he'll get a clue, or have a clue next time.

[JustADude]

I dunno...it kinda sounds like you pulled the Gender Card here. You can't really assume that the reason why he didn't want to work with you was because you are a girl...maybe he didn't appreciate the pysch talk? Maybe he thought that you were talking down to him? Maybe he was having a bad retail day? You can't just assume that a male from a different heritage is being sexist.

(active listening... when you say x, what I understand it to be is Y to me is this correct?)

Jewels, Active Listening is simply the art of paying attention to what they say, interpreting what you hear, and making sure you have the intended interpretation. The lack of this skill on the parts of SCs and SEs is one of the major things we bitch about on these boards. In fact, I'm sure most of the people on this board, especially the Serving Staff and Commissioned Sales, use Active Listening constantly, they just don't realize there's anything special about doing it.

Anyone who feels uncomfortable in the face of it is uncomfortable with the sound of what's coming out of their own mouths. I.E. If they feel they're being talked down to, or being made to sound stupid, it's because they ARE being stupid.

When promoted {Prompted?} why I shouldn't have corrected him, evil customer would not come out and say it but made clear that I shouldn't have corrected him b/c I am a woman.

Barring any other facts, we can only accept her word that the customer did, in fact, make gender-specific remarks in this matter, thus rendering your assertion that PurpleMoose was assuming quite null and void. We can't discount the fact that he might have just snapped because he was having a bad day, but really, is being an inconsiderate asshole that takes his frustrations out on innocent sales associates any better?


EDIT: Apologies if it sounds like I'm attacking you, since this does come across a little harsh. That isn't my intention. I just felt I had to bring up certain points you might have overlooked when reading the OP.

[Emrld]

It is not known for proof positive how long this man has been in this country. He claimed to be a citizen and in the post it was pointed out that would mean living here for 7 years. Not that he had stated how long he had been in this country.

[Broomjockey]

It is not known for proof positive how long this man has been in this country. He claimed to be a citizen and in the post it was pointed out that would mean living here for 7 years. Not that he had stated how long he had been in this country.

So, slow learning ignorant asshat, or liar. He's not coming out very well either way you look at it.