Wait.....he's doing what now? (sexually explicit)

[Hon'ya-chan]

LP calls me to the office, and he points out one of the screens and tells me what do I see.

Now I see a kid, with two of the Girlie calendars. He has cornered himself into the Romance section. And he's doing something with one of his hands where....wait....is that his penis? Wait, he's.....oh you've got to be kidding me!!!

LP and I rush to the floor and confront the kid. He's in his teens, and he's wearing a shirt and sweatpants. The sweatpants are loose enough where he can pretty much "Rub" his penis to simulate masturbation without exposing himself. He's holding one of the calendars in one hand, while "rubbing" his penis thru the sweatpants with the other.

LP is not amused, and neither am I. I get one of the other workers to call Mall Security, and LP and I have him promptly escorted off the mall property. I quickly slip both calendars into a bag and throw them out in the trash.

The amazing thing is romance is one of our most heavily trafficked areas and nobody bothered to notice until LP moved the camera to see the kid doing the nasty.

[Bloodsoul]

Geeze, kid, wait until you get home.. it's more fun getting caught by the parents.

I just find girlie calendars boring, be it SI or fantasy or what have you; girl in bikini, girl in bikini, girl in bikini, yawn. Except for this 50s/60s Rockwell-esque pinups one, that was cool.

[Fawn]

Couldn't he smuggle it into the bathroom? geesh.. *shudder*

Maybe he wanted to get caught by some of the romance novel girls. lol.

[bean]

I don't know about you, but in my teens my imagination was plenty active without having to resort to public .. touching of self.

[Bright_Star]

You gotta be one horny horn dog to diddle with yourself in public...lol.

[Becks]

Maybe he's discovering he's also into public display?

[Gawdzillers]

No, he was obviously charging his Faraday flashlight.
He just didn't want all the people in the store to hear that "clack-clack-clack" noise, so he muffled it with his pants.
Easy misunderstanding.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I prefer the technical term, "doing the secret handshake".

Also, don't those calendars normally come wrapped in plastic that has to be removed?

I'd also advise keeping an eye out for this kid when the SI Swimsuit edition comes out.

Man, there sure have been some interesting stories here the past couple of days.

[blas]

There's a kiosk at the local mall with nothing BUT calendars......political, humorous, etc etc...and a special section devoted to fake breasted bikini clad girls...I shudder to think what those poor employees have to deal with.

Reminds me of a story at the gas station.

It was close to closing time, I was starting to tuck the lottery tickets away and get a headstart on some paperwork, and this notorious dirtball SC enters. Picture middle aged guy still stuck in the Don Johnson Miami Vice era. He walks over to the air fresheners and car decor section (we had a very pathetic selection, obviously).

"Don't ya'll got any of those tittie girl mini calendars for cars?" he asks.

"Say what?" I ask.

"You know...those little calendars you stick on your dash with those girls with the bikinis and big titties?"

"Um, no sir, we don't...."

"Well DAMN!" he says. "I'm 40 years old and married. I really need something good to look at, you know what I mean?"

I couldn't think of an answer to that.

[aurelemsrealm]

You know, I don't think I was that hard up even as a teenager. I'm certainly over all of that now that I'm an adult and married. I realize that some never get over the horndog stage of life, but I just never saw the point in brooding about sex or lack of it.

[AnaKhouri]

Once at the bookstore a guy asked me where the 'stroke mags' were. I kind of stared at him until he walked away.

We find Maxim and that sort of thing in the bathroom sometimes, but I've never caught someone masturbating on the floor.

[MiloMorai]

Put your right hand out......Give a firm handshake........

All together now people.

Stroke me stroke me

Billy Squier- Stroke. A song about...well what the punk was doing.

[Hon'ya-chan]

Also, don't those calendars normally come wrapped in plastic that has to be removed?

Not the ones he got.

[JustADude]

Not the ones he got.

Maybe they should be laminated, though?

[cinema guy]

"Don't ya'll got any of those tittie girl mini calendars for cars?" he asks.

...

"I really need something good to look at, you know what I mean?"

I'd hope he was looking at the road!