If it wasn't for my horse....

[reformedwaitress]

Or the story of a customer breaking RW's brain.

So yesterday was football Sunday. Eagles played the late game. Parrot Heads were in town. We got our BUTTS kicked. We were completely slammed all day; it was fun, but the other server downstairs and I were running like crazy for 12 hours (him) and 14 hours (me).

Really, they weren't that bad. The customers were pretty understanding that we were busy and they had to wait a bit for drinks and food. But about 9:30, one of my bartenders comes back and goes "Okay, I need to make someone else's head hurt as much as mine..."

She says that someone sent back their gator bites. Which are listed as "gator bites" on our menu. And very specifically says that it is bite sized bits of fried gator tail (tastes a lot like chicken, actually. Just a chewier). Why did he send them back?

Cause he thought they were going to be jalapeno poppers.



Yeah, as soon as she said that, my brain just kind of stopped and went "Huh-wha?" and then spent twenty minutes trying to figure it out. Why? Why would he think that? Really?

As my bartender says -- "Cause when I want jalapeno poppers I always order something else and assume they'll just come out."

(anyone who gets the title of this post gets mondo cookies)

[DarthRetard]

.....you wouldn't have spent that year in college?

God I love Lewis Black.

They asked him on the radio what his favorite insult was, and he said..."FuckStick" without even thinking.

[Chanlin]

If it wasn't for my horse....I wouldn't have spent that year in college (google for the win)

[digilight]

And if you think about it for too long then blood will spurt out your nose.

[reformedwaitress]

And if you think about it for too long then blood will spurt out your nose.

Which is specifically why I share with other people, so their brains can break too and I at least won't be alone.

Darth -- you win. Have some cookies.

[Crawley]

If it wasn't for my horse, I would have never spent that year in college.

It's earworms like that that causes aneurysms.

[Trayol]

I always thought it was, "If it wasn't for my horse...I would have gone to college."

Oh, well. It's still one of the funniest things ever. One day I hope to think of a way when this will make sense. Or see if my head would implode or explode from thinking about it too much.

[JustADude]

If it wasn't for my horse....I wouldn't have spent that year in college (google for the win)

You are still in training, grasshopper, if you had to actually resort to Google-Fu for the answer. A true master would know the answer before they even clicked past the title.

[Lady Heather]

My friends and I tried to figure that out, we came up with:
Horseback riding scolarship
Prize money for Horse Show paid for collage
Tragic loss of horse inspired me to go to collage and become a vet

[JustADude]

My friends and I tried to figure that out, we came up with:
Horseback riding scolarship
Prize money for Horse Show paid for collage
Tragic loss of horse inspired me to go to collage and become a vet

Same here. Don't forget "Daddy threatened to sell horse if she didn't finish her degree".

[reformedwaitress]

Same here. Don't forget "Daddy threatened to sell horse if she didn't finish her degree".

Except you all forget, it's not "...I wouldn't have gone to college" it's "...I wouldn't have spent that year in college." The rest of it I could get, but only one year?

Guh. Breaks my brain

[Broomjockey]

well, only one year is simple enough. The person flunked out so badly that they're not getting back in for any "donation."

[derangedperson]

It's one of those things that when you hear it, the right hand side of the brain looks at the left hand side of the brain and says, "It's dark in here...and we may die."

[JustADude]

Except you all forget, it's not "...I wouldn't have gone to college" it's "...I wouldn't have spent that year in college." The rest of it I could get, but only one year?

Guh. Breaks my brain

Actually, I did take that into account:

1: Girl starts school
2: Girl gets down to 1 year from graduation
3: Girl loses interest and wants to drop out
4: Daddy blackmails girl with welfare of horse
5: Girl spends that year in college

[napoleana]

I guess it's possible that the place he usually gets jalapeno poppers may call them "gator bites" but it's still pretty stupid. I've learned to always read the description of anything that says "Gator ___" "Frog ___" or "Snake ____" because only once has it actually been gator (exactly like chicken, only better XD), only ONCE has it been frog (didn't try that one), and NEVER has it been snake. I don't know why restaurants use "clever" names that have nothing to do with the ingredients, but that's exactly why you should always read the descriptions, especially for those things you DO order.