Dumbest question you have ever been asked

[Rubystars]

I work for the police dept...

" Umm, I was arrested last night. They gave me back everything except for my weed! When can I get that back?"

I guess you can't tell him to go buy some more.

[workerbee222]

I was marking and pinning a hem on a dress. The customer asked, "People who do your sort of work must be kind of ...(she pauses, looking for appropriate wording) 'slow,' mustn't they?"

[Shabo]

(although it is admittedly still unreliable if you press the wrong keys).

That reminds me of this quote...

"On two occasions I have been asked,—"Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?""

Poor Charles Babbage... stoopid peoples everywhere.

[Ill_Used_Heroine]

Another brilliant question I've been asked:

(SC at the jewelry counter trying to purchase some expensive bling) "I don't have to have the credit card with me to use it for this order do I? You can just hand enter the account number, right?"



.

I had a CS do that to me, when I was Head Cashier at a toy store. He was like, "Here ... I wrote my cc number down on this piece of paper (torn edges on 3 sides, no less), can't you just use THAT?"

Uh ... ya ... a piece of paper that looks like it was torn out of the bottom of who knows where, with some numbers scrawled on it. Uh huh, sure. Mind you, this was back in the day when you had to imprint the actual card on a 3-copy receipt.

[Custard Chick]

Worked in a custard shop for 6 years. We have a drive-thru window. It's just one window. You drive up, order, and we hand everything out of that window. In the back, there's a large board with all of our sundaes and such painted on it.

More than once I've had people drive up and say, "I think you're speaker is broken..." I crack up every time I imagine people shouting at our back board. Hehehe!

Also in drive-thru, a few times people would drive forward BEFORE their custard was handed out and just park right in front of the drive-thru. Their explanation? "Oh, I didn't want to block drive-thru!"

And probably one of my favs, a coworker of mine, on several occasions, has had to explain to a few of our customers that yes, custard does MELT, especially during the summer!

[bscabl]

90% off, you move the decimal point.. if it was 9.99, its 0.99

Well, if it was 90% off an easy number like $10.00 then that's inexcusable. However, if it's an odd number I can definitely see where they would have a problem doing it in their head - hell, I would myself. Hence the reason I'm a history major, not a math major!

[Broomjockey]

90% off, you move the decimal point.. if it was 9.99, its 0.99

Rounding error. $9.99 at 90% off is $1.00

[Gwen_Goth]

i work in a cafe /resturant...

SC: two lattes..
Me: sure, would you like a Large or a Small? (we only have large or small)
SC: Meduim please
Me: ....

SC: Do you sell coffees?

no; the huge silver, hot and slightly steaming coffee machine is just here for decoration...

[bscabl]

Rounding error. $9.99 at 90% off is $1.00

true, but i tend to round down on purpose.. people cry about it less. :P

[Broomjockey]

true, but i tend to round down on purpose.. people cry about it less. :P

Until they get to the register and find out it's "A WHOLE PENNY MORE!?!?! WTFBBQ?!!"

[edible_hat]

Has anybody had any alternative comedians (i.e. they're not funny) ask for extra medium?

[Bluenomi]

I was marking and pinning a hem on a dress. The customer asked, "People who do your sort of work must be kind of ...(she pauses, looking for appropriate wording) 'slow,' mustn't they?"

Did you 'accidently' poke them in the leg with one of those nice sharp pins?

[lastofthesummerwine]

Wot, Me Work?

Well, I gotta vote for "Do you work here?" as being the mark of the beast when it comes to conferring the title of ultimate fucktard.

1. I've had the question asked of me when decked in full corporate clown regalia, while handling shopping bags (complete with logo), answering the phone using the lip diddling lunatic phrase of the day and cleaning messes left by the perpetual squatters (both the W.C. variety AND the sort made by those who will actually buy something the day that triple-your-money-back refunds go into effect). I've answered such stupidity in myriad ways, ranging from a can't-hide-my-contempt "uhh, yeahhhhh" to an absolutely sarcastic, "No, but my therapist thought a little role-playing would be helpful while while getting me out of the sanitarium a little more often." Doesn't faze the flittercakes one whit...

2. People have asked me, "Do you work here?" when I've had the silly suit on (before or after work)-- company name in full view of anyone facing me-- while in another store. Well, sure-- Wal-Mart ran short of regulation duds and issued me this Movie Gallery rag, and I've a movie for you, buck-o. Ever watched "Dick"?

3. And there's the sort who stop me-- while I'm wearing civvies, tooling around and shopping a store-- and ask. I have questioned friends and relatives what there is about my demeanor that seems to invite this phenomenon. Is there a particular walk, expression or wardrobe style that incites the rodent sludge to trod through the labyrinth until they locate me and erroneously expect me to be the bearer of the cheese? In this situation, I'll wager there will come a day when I hope I find myself powerless to resist saying, "Yes, but I work on commission
only-- which means this is the day YOU kiss MY ass."

[AKWalMartCartGuy]

standing in Wal-Mart's parking lot, wearing an orange vest, and for some reason I was wearing my Wal-Mart nametag that day, pushing Wal-Mart's shopping carts, some dumb bitch asked me "do you know where Wal-Mart is?"

[mattm04]

During a power failure a customer walks in pauses, reads out loud the sign, that says "Due to a power failure all perishable food departments are closed. All other departments are open. Sorry for any inconvenience." Walks int the store and asks me 1) Is your meat and seafood dept open 2)Do you now that a lot of you lights are off.

I had to explain to her that the only reason some lights and and a few registers were on was because that is all the generator can handle(that they SC sees), FOUR TIMES before she realized the sign was right. The gen. also powers alarms, phones, the main walk-in cooler and freezer, some scattered outlets and a couple of the office PC's.