You do not need to take a bath in it...

[Retail Associate]

I absolutely refuse to wear cologne, especially at work. When I was younger I worked in a small office. The woman at the desk behind me came to work everyday smelling as if she had bathed in Jean Nate (sp). It was stomach-turning. I hated that cologne and I hated her. To this day when I get a whif of Jean Nate I want to puke.

That woman was brutally murdered in her home a few years ago. I figure the killer was probably her neighbor who couldn't stand the smell any longer.



(Sorry, but she was a stinky, old bitch.)

[JuniorMintz]

Oooh. That's harsh. Even if she did stink.

[Broomjockey]

That woman was brutally murdered in her home a few years ago. I figure the killer was probably her neighbor who couldn't stand the smell any longer.

Remember boys and girls, murder should never be joked about. Only manslaughter, because it contains the word laughter right in it!

Okay, how about: Remember boys and girls, murder should never be joked about. It is a very serious topic, and should only be used when all other methods for conflict resolution have been exhausted.

Um, maybe: Remember boys and girls, murder should never be joked about. Unless it was someone who really deserved it, like a child molestor, or someone who talks in the theatre.

I'm done. Sorry if I offended anyone. Sort of.

[JuniorMintz]

Oh, foo on you. And probably foo on me, too. I'm just weird because today we found out that one of our longtime patients was found murdered in his friend's apartment.

He was a drunk and deeply troubled, but always behaved kindly when he was in our office.

Apparently he was found beaten and stabbed to death, and for whatever reason with his dick cut off and stuffed in his mouth.

He was often homeless, and when the homeless die around here the papers don't make nearly the fuss as they would with a normal person. Still, I'm sad for him.

Now that I've driven the thread sufficiently OT, let me steer it back on track and add that I'm allergic to most perfumes and find it incredibly rude when people bathe in the stuff. At least it gives me an excuse to run away and *not* have to wait on them.

And PS...

Remember boys and girls, murder should never be joked about. Only manslaughter, because it contains the word laughter right in it!

That is really, really funny and I'd like to quote you in my sig sometime if you don't mind!
__________________

[Broomjockey]

And PS...



That is really, really funny and I'd like to quote you in my sig sometime if you don't mind!
__________________

I'd love it! I take it as a compliment something I said is sig worthy!

[NightAngel]

Yes!!! patchouli oil. That stuff smells like decomposed skunk ass if the skunk lived on hard boiled eggs and chilli.

And why is it that the people who use it know nothing of moderation?

YES! I DESPISE Patchouli and I'm allergic to it! Stinky, nasty crap. I think they bathe in it, soak their clothes in it, dump it in their shoes- GAK!

People come in with their 50 yard Patchouli radius and my eyes water, I gag, choke, heave, can't breathe and have to tolerate the hideous odor on top of all this!

Down with Patchouli!

[ladyklack]

Soooooooooooooooo...how did your boss react? I'm dying of curiosity.

He wasn't upset or anything, he kinda understood why we ran, and later we put a big label on the lysol can that said 'anti stinky-man spray' and had a good ol laugh about it. (Note: after this visit we agreed that we would take turns helping him while everyone else went on "break")

[Dreamstalker]

To this day when I get a whif of Jean Nate I want to puke.

My grandmother bathes in that stuff ("after bath splash"). Eeewwww.

I'll put on a tiny bit of essential oil sometimes, but I cannot stand commercial perfumes/sprays/etc. For some reason, even the so-called all natural colognes have something that makes me fairly itchy.

[Jester]

Remember boys and girls, murder should never be joked about.

Weird. Because every comedian I know loves joking about murder. They say it just kills the audience.

Hey, John Wayne Gacy joked about murder a lot. He was such a clown.

Jeffrey Dahmer didn't like joking about murder, on the other hand. He said that kind of humor was too biting for him.

Dennis Raeder joked about murder. Then again, he was bound to.

Albert de Salvo tried joking about murder once, but failed. Basically, he choked.

John Mohammed and Lee Malvo occasionally joked about murder, but never sober...they had to have a few shots first.

And let's not forget about Jack the Ripper. He was such a cutup.

It's official. I'm going to hell.

(Sadly, I couldn't think of any joke for Keith Hunter Jesperson. Pity. That would have been perfect. He was the Happy Face Killer. And bonus points to anyone who got the jokes about all the killers mentioned.)

[Broomjockey]

I got most of them, which allowed me to get the few I didn't. The jokes are all tied to the killer's preferred method, correct?

Do I win a cookie?

But I like the cookie!

[Jester]

Something like that. If anyone has any questions about those fine upstanding citizens I mentioned, just ask. I read probably way too much about those whackos.

[NightAngel]

I read probably way too much about those whackos.

One of my sick hobbies is reading about serial killers.
I once spent about a month attempting to crack one of the Zodiac letters.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

[Seanette]

(Sadly, I couldn't think of any joke for Keith Hunter Jesperson. Pity. That would have been perfect. He was the Happy Face Killer. And bonus points to anyone who got the jokes about all the killers mentioned.)

It might say some frightening things about me as a person, but I got them all immediately.
Let me put it this way: I get the update e-mail on about a weekly basis from www.crimelibrary.com , and have enough books on similar topics that I'd be a very likely suspect if something were to happen to someone around me.

[NightAngel]

Last night someone came through who was darned stinky. The BO kind of stinky though. I never figured out who it was but- ICK! Anyway, I took the Febreeze and walked the entire length of the counter giving little sprays here and there.

Co- worker turns around and jokingly says, "What ya doin'?"
Me: "Everybody a favor."
Him (joking): "Are you saying I stink?"
Me: "No. I'm not saying you stink."
Him: "Oh, but you're saying somebody stinks!"
Me: "Yep."

You could see the people at the counter all sort of looking about like, "Uh-oh... Is it me?"

[DGoddessChardonnay]

One of my sick hobbies is reading about serial killers.
I once spent about a month attempting to crack one of the Zodiac letters.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

You too? I seem to have become a bit of a "death hag" myself. If it's not the CourtTv's crime library site, I do enjoy find a death's site.

Now we return to your regularly scheduled topic at hand: smelly customers.

Speaking of which, while I do enjoy good perfumes (my fave is Carolina Herrerra) there is such a thing as moderation.

Three sprays for me, I'm good to go for the day. Any more might set off a sneezing reaction if I'm around anyone who is sensitive, such as my stepmom. She's always been highly senstive to strong smells (not to mention allergies to certain metals used in jewelry.)

But I'd rather smell myself than our resident homeless guy, Stinky, who never buys soap but always walks around w/a Starbuck's coffee cup in his hand while he's shopping every morning when we open.