A few idiots from today and one nice customer.
They aren't Open
SC: I want to check on a porting request.
Me: Ok Whats the number?
SC: *Gives number*
Me: *checks, we do not have a response from the original provider yet* Ok give me one moment to call <company> to see if we can get a response on the request from them.
SC: Ok.
So I place the customer on hold call the other company. Proceed to be put on hold after giving them the information pertaining to the request. I check in with the customer every 5 minutes. The rep from the other company eventually comes back to the line...
Rep: Our porting department is closed on weekends, you'll need to call back on Monday.

I pass this info on to the customer.
SC: But your reps told me it would be 24 hours.
Me: Under normal cirumstances that would be true, but <company>'s porting department is not open today and will not be open tomorrow according to their CSR so we will have to call them on Monday to get a response from them.
SC: *repeats previous statement*
Me: * repeats previous statement*
SC: *repeats previous two statements*
Me: *losing my patience* Ok Mam, I don't know what you want me to do here. As I have said, <company>'s Porting department is closed for the weekend. Due to this I can not finish the Port process because I need them to release the number to us. Until that happens I can't do anything.
SC: Well what if I call them?
Me: You will most likely be told the same thing that I was, that you will need to call on Monday for a response to the Porting request.
SC: Well I'm going to call them and get them to do something about it..... *click*
Me: Knock yourself out...moron (ah yes the beauty of being hung up on)
Wave your wand and fix it
Sucky Dealer (SD): Yeah I have a customer whos phone isnt making or recieving calls.
Me: Ok, is it getting an error message at all?
SD: I don't know.
Me: Ok, can you place a call on the phone and let me know if there is an error message please.
SD: No, I don't have the phone, I do have the number and esn though.
Me: Ok, I need either the customer to call with the phone on hand, or they need to bring it to you and then you need to call us back.
SD: Can't you just see if there is anything in the system that needs fixed.
Me: That would be like searching for a needle in a haystack without knowing if their is an error message or not.
SD: Can't you just check it and see if anything needs fixed?
Me: If you don't have the phone and or do not know what the error message are I can't help. It would be adviseable to have the phone on hand when you call in case I need you to change any settings on the phone.
SD: But...
Me: *Politely but firmly repeats the previous statement*
SD: Alright.. thanks for nothing *click*
An Unexpected One
*Loud blaring music in background heavy bass*
Me: *Gives Intro Spiel hoping to be heard*
*Music gets turned off*
Polite Awesome Customer: Yeah, sorry bout that music, I need to add minutes on my phone.
Me: Oh no problem, thanks for turning it down.
....standard call type stuff ensues we even BS about the Ohio State and Michigan Game....
Me: *at end of call* Alright man, have a good day.
PAC: You too.
This made all the tension from the other stupid callers of the day melt away.
They aren't Open
SC: I want to check on a porting request.
Me: Ok Whats the number?
SC: *Gives number*
Me: *checks, we do not have a response from the original provider yet* Ok give me one moment to call <company> to see if we can get a response on the request from them.
SC: Ok.
So I place the customer on hold call the other company. Proceed to be put on hold after giving them the information pertaining to the request. I check in with the customer every 5 minutes. The rep from the other company eventually comes back to the line...
Rep: Our porting department is closed on weekends, you'll need to call back on Monday.

I pass this info on to the customer.
SC: But your reps told me it would be 24 hours.

Me: Under normal cirumstances that would be true, but <company>'s porting department is not open today and will not be open tomorrow according to their CSR so we will have to call them on Monday to get a response from them.
SC: *repeats previous statement*
Me: * repeats previous statement*
SC: *repeats previous two statements*
Me: *losing my patience* Ok Mam, I don't know what you want me to do here. As I have said, <company>'s Porting department is closed for the weekend. Due to this I can not finish the Port process because I need them to release the number to us. Until that happens I can't do anything.
SC: Well what if I call them?
Me: You will most likely be told the same thing that I was, that you will need to call on Monday for a response to the Porting request.
SC: Well I'm going to call them and get them to do something about it..... *click*
Me: Knock yourself out...moron (ah yes the beauty of being hung up on)
Wave your wand and fix it
Sucky Dealer (SD): Yeah I have a customer whos phone isnt making or recieving calls.
Me: Ok, is it getting an error message at all?
SD: I don't know.
Me: Ok, can you place a call on the phone and let me know if there is an error message please.
SD: No, I don't have the phone, I do have the number and esn though.
Me: Ok, I need either the customer to call with the phone on hand, or they need to bring it to you and then you need to call us back.
SD: Can't you just see if there is anything in the system that needs fixed.
Me: That would be like searching for a needle in a haystack without knowing if their is an error message or not.
SD: Can't you just check it and see if anything needs fixed?
Me: If you don't have the phone and or do not know what the error message are I can't help. It would be adviseable to have the phone on hand when you call in case I need you to change any settings on the phone.
SD: But...
Me: *Politely but firmly repeats the previous statement*
SD: Alright.. thanks for nothing *click*
An Unexpected One
*Loud blaring music in background heavy bass*
Me: *Gives Intro Spiel hoping to be heard*
*Music gets turned off*

Polite Awesome Customer: Yeah, sorry bout that music, I need to add minutes on my phone.
Me: Oh no problem, thanks for turning it down.
....standard call type stuff ensues we even BS about the Ohio State and Michigan Game....
Me: *at end of call* Alright man, have a good day.
PAC: You too.
This made all the tension from the other stupid callers of the day melt away.