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Can I trade in my penis?

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  • #1

    Can I trade in my penis?

    I actually had a lot of great customers today, considering the time of the year. A lot of them gave me back a little hope in humanity that I lost when Inappropriate Comment Duo came into the store. I still feel a little violated. Here's why.

    The ASM went into the back s two men were walking in. They browsed around, came up to the counter. Keep in mind they were somewhere in their forties, trying to look smooth, making these comments to a girl in her mid-twenties.

    Ew1: Disgusting
    Ew2: Vile
    Me: poor gameslave, all by herself.

    Me: Is this it for you today?
    Ew1: Yeah, I guess. Hey man, why don't we get that Guitar Hero game?
    Ew2: (looks at me) Can I trade in my penis for it?
    Me: ...I'm sorry, we don't...we don't take those in.
    Ew1: Nevermind man, let's save that money to buy some hookers.
    Me:
    Ew2: (to me) Want to go get a drink later?
    Me: No. Have a great day!

    I went to the back before they even walked out and got ASM, told him to please man the counter as I needed to have a cigarette and try to find some bleach to pour in my ear. Thanks, you idiots. You're real smooth. I'm sure you get a whole lot of women that way.
    Would you like a Stummies?
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Now, I'll be the first to tell you that guitar hero is amazing. ****ing awesome, even.

    But my penis is more important to me than that. Srsly.
    Current Faith in Humanity Meter:
    {|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||}

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    • #3
      Quoth marty View Post
      Ew2: (looks at me) Can I trade in my penis for it?
      Me: ...I'm sorry, we don't...we don't take those in.
      I'm sorry, I really feel for you, but that bit made me
      Any day you're looking down at the dirt instead of up at the dirt is a good day.

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      • #4
        Sweeeeeet

        I'm going to try that line out next time I'm near some foxy ladies.
        Age and wisdom don't necessarily go together. Some people just become stupid with more authority.

        "Who put the goat in there? The yellow goat I ate."

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        • #5
          "I'm sorry, there's not enough there to meet the requirements of this trade."
          This area is left blank for a reason.

          Comment

          • #6
            Ew2: (looks at me) Can I trade in my penis for it?

            "Sure! Let me find the boxcutter..."
            Mike: I'm gonna tell my boss I'm Puma Man, maybe he'll let me off early.

            - "Puma Man", MST3K.

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            • #7
              you know, at first i thought this would be a spin off of gravekeeper's thred, but it turned out to be so much better.
              If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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              • #8
                Ew2: (looks at me) Can I trade in my penis for it?
                "Sure! One moment please!"

                (go on PA)
                *KKKHHKKKKHTTT* "Lorena, you're wanted in the Electronics department. Bring the tin snips with you!"

                "What's that? You can't find the tin snips? Just grab a knife off the shelf then. Thank you!"

                *KKKHKKKTHTKKT*
                Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                • #9
                  I'm pretty sure when they left, they went next door to Beef O'Brady's (a family sports bar/pub, and no, I don't know how you could successfully marry "family" and "pub" either) and tried to pick up some soccer moms.

                  I'm convinced now that they came in and bought something just to harrass me. Sadly, it made the incident with the drunk guys trying to convince us to let them go through the back (through the employees only area) so they could, "climb the hill behind it," seem pretty mediocre.
                  Would you like a Stummies?

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth marty View Post
                    Ew2: (looks at me) Can I trade in my penis for it?
                    ME: I'm sorry. If you're going to offer a trade, it's got to be something of value to me (hint: I'm not into guys). Now, if you'll trade your soul, maybe we can work something out.

                    Also, don't people technically rent hookers?
                    "You are loved" - Plaidman.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth karma_gypsy View Post
                      "I'm sorry, there's not enough there to meet the requirements of this trade."
                      Quoth Posture Moll
                      "Sure! Let me find the boxcutter..."
                      Sounds more like you'll need the laser knife and tunneling electron microscope instead!
                      "Well, ergo cogitum daltitum e pluribus shut your piehole." -Mike Rowe

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                      • #12
                        Quoth marty View Post
                        Ew2: (looks at me) Can I trade in my penis for it?
                        "Normally I'd say yes, as you're not likely to be using it again. However, since the, uh, 'software' in question never lived up to the hype surrounding it, and is not in demand, I'm afraid I can't accept that trade."

                        Really though you should've just given him the one-eyebrow-raised, completely-unamused cold death stare until he and his fellow assmunch got the hint and walked out.
                        "I'm not a crazed gunman, dad, I'm an assassin... Well, the difference being one is a job and the other's mental sickness!" -The Sniper

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Kara_CS View Post
                          Also, don't people technically rent hookers?
                          Only until they catch something. Then, you have the pleasure of having bought something from a hooker.
                          "I call murder on that!"

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                          • #14
                            Ah, if only Lorena Bobbit worked there.
                            I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn't care who knew it. -- Raymond Chandler

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                            • #15
                              Quoth MMATM View Post
                              "Normally I'd say yes, as you're not likely to be using it again. However, since the, uh, 'software' in question never lived up to the hype surrounding it, and is not in demand, I'm afraid I can't accept that trade."
                              Now, why can't we come up with such brilliant -- and appropriate -- zingers when they're needed?!
                              I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                              My LiveJournal
                              A page we can all agree with!

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