Shut your damn kid up.

[marty]

It's not the babies crying that pisses me off so much, it's the damn parents who do nothing to try to stop it. The kid looked not even a year old yet, so I don't think ignoring it was going to be the solution. It made me mad because she was saying, "Say mamma say mamma!" and not holding the child, comforting it, changing its diaper, putting a pacifer in its mouth, etc. She was waving her hands in its face trying to get it to talk. It's not the toddlers I'm talking about, it's the children who do not understand the spoken language yet. I've seen so many people out in public actively ignoring their nearly newborn children who seem to need something. And the more that kid gets pissed off, the louder it screams, and the more the vein in my temple starts twitching....

My brother once tried to pitch a fit (rolling on the floor screaming) in a grocery store when he was three and my mom tore his ass up, right there by the door. He never did it again.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Or scream just for the sheer hell of it. Now, I expect an infant to cry, that's the only way they communicate. But a 3-5 year old child who just banshee-screeches at Volume Eleven, just to hear the sound of their own voice, that's not right.

Especially when they're close enough to you to shriek right into your ear...!

Agreed. I can tolerate a crying baby; however, if it's a schoolage child going "AHHH! AHHH! AHHH!" for no damn reason, I just want to go up to said child and shout, "Shut the hell up!" Then smack their parents for good measure. Had I done that around my parents, I would have gotten a clip round the ear and no treat.

[Catwoman2965]

Or scream just for the sheer hell of it. Now, I expect an infant to cry, that's the only way they communicate. But a 3-5 year old child who just banshee-screeches at Volume Eleven, just to hear the sound of their own voice, that's not right.

Especially when they're close enough to you to shriek right into your ear...!

Oh yeah, DEFINITELY a difference between a crying infant, and a toddler having a shit fit and screaming at the top of their lungs, simply for attention. Reminds me of the time my friend and I were in a craft store, and we heard, constantly, as we couldn't get away from it, a woman saying "now, so and so, stop that" as the kid was shrieking at the top of his lungs! Don't you know they got behind us in line to pay, and the kid was about 4; still screaming, with Grandma. At one point, he stopped for a second, looked around, saw no one was paying attention to him, and started up again. What a brat! if your kid is having a major hissy fit, then its time to go....i don't care, get what you need, and get out...don't linger, and shop, as the kid will only get worse.

crying babies, well, they can't help it, and generally if you do something, change the diaper, give them a bottle, they'll calm down.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

My brother once tried to pitch a fit (rolling on the floor screaming) in a grocery store when he was three and my mom tore his ass up, right there by the door. He never did it again.

Yeah, try that now and the same people who think it's sooo awful that some parent somewhere is "not shutting their damn kid up" will be on their cells to Social Services because it's sooo awful that some parent is trying to discipline their kid in public.

[digilight]

Babies cry.

It's not like they have an unlimited vocabulary to tell people what's wrong with them.

Yeah it's annoying, but is it really worth the hostility?

Ree, I don't think its just the babies crying that bothers people (well maybe true dicks but those would be the SCs that we all see). What bothers me is the parents who aren't proactive in dealing with their children. I will take the kids out of a store or restaraunt if they are acting up. They know I will and that I won't fool around on that subject (hell I've done it before).

Its the parents who just sit their acting all la-di-da about it. Sure babies and children will cry and pitch a royal bitch fit sometimes. Mine do it, your granddaughter does it, and pretty much any of us with kids,nieces,nephews,etc experience it. The biggest difference is what we do during the situation. Do we allow our children to scream at a point that would drown out a bombing raid siren, or do we deal with it.

We (the wife and I) are lucky. Normally I will stay home while she does the shopping (I hate stores anyways). But at restaraunts one of us will imediatly handle the problem. Now I realize that this isn't a possibility and as easily said as done with all people. You may be on your own out and about with one or two small children. And yeah there may be times when you just can't remove the child like I've said I do. But these also aren't the times when you are just shopping for a movie rental, or going out to the Outback for a steak. These would be the times when you are out buying food because there isn't anything at home to eat, or you are picking up medicine for yourself or the kids.

I'm the biggest opponent against screaming children and jerry springer parents letting their kids run around like wild banshee's at restaraunts. I deal with it immediatly so I'm not a hypocrite. If I let my children do what pisses me off then I would be no better then the unwashed masses that drive me insane.

Also Ree, good luck with the grandbaby, As you well know it gets easier as you go (she will sleep thru the night soon hopefully and so will you guys).

And just to set the record straight, I understand difficult children. My son is ADHD and can be a handful at times, my nephews are twins who will be 2 next month and we all know how kids can feed off of each other, imagine this at 2 years old. There mother is a saint in my book.

[marty]

Yeah, try that now and the same people who think it's sooo awful that some parent somewhere is "not shutting their damn kid up" will be on their cells to Social Services because it's sooo awful that some parent is trying to discipline their kid in public.

Yeah, spanking your child if they're being little brats is not child abuse. My mom spanked us when we were acting like assholes, she doesn't consider it abuse, and she's the judge in her county that handles all the real child abuse cases. Believe me, spanking your kid doesn't even register compared to real cases of abuse that she's told us about. That's another reason I find it so damn hard to tolerate spoiled children.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yeah, spanking your child if they're being little brats is not child abuse. My mom spanked us when we were acting like assholes, she doesn't consider it abuse, and she's the judge in her county that handles all the real child abuse cases. Believe me, spanking your kid doesn't even register compared to real cases of abuse that she's told us about. That's another reason I find it so damn hard to tolerate spoiled children.

Of course it's not. Reasonable people know the difference. However, try it in public sometime and see what happens. To many unreasonable people out there who just like to make trouble.

The problem here is that the busybodies and people who lack any sense of proportion and over react when they see a kid get swatted on their well padded little bum are the ones who make parents afraid to discipline their kids, at least in public. So many assholes with phones make it nigh impossible for parents to do what's right by their kids. Then they complain when a kid seems out of control in a store somewhere.

[GuinnessGirl]

Hey all,
I am new to the site and giggled when I saw the topic.

I am a new mom and when my girl starts screaming in the restaurant, store, etc either I or DH take her outside so others don't have to deal with it. Granted she is only 6 months old (and cute as a bug) I know people don't want to hear her screaming.

My BIL thinks it's "cute" when his 2 girls (ages 4 and 2) scream like banshees in a restaurant. He is now trying to teach my girl to scream which I put my foot down on immediately!

I can understand that babies cry, I NEVER get mad when I hear a baby crying, it breaks my heart in a million pieces, but, if it is a 6 year old screaming non stop. Big issue with that!

Anyhow-sorry to rant.

I absolutely LOVE this sight. I will post a few of my SC stories later.

[thegiraffe]

Sorry but this is mean. As a mother i have had my baby cry for no reason!. You can not just pick the child up or shove a bottle in the mouth. There is problem called " Colic crying " maybe dealing with a loud cry is terrible for your ears. But try to think how the parent is going through?. Its not fun when your child is sad and there is Nothing no one can do!. I been there. Taking to a child as she did and not get upset was good parenting.
When i read the Title i "giggled" thinking it was a older child. But as i see a young Infant, It was very heart aching for me!...i am sure the Author meant well and is mad. But think next time when a young baby cries. There are reasons. You really want her Changing the diaper in line , right in front of you?
I think not.

I think the OP was more upset with how the mother didn't handle it. Instead of trying to get a 6-8 month old to say 'mommy' (which likely will NOT happen - the first word typically doesn't appear until about 12 months), she appeared to be agitating it further by waving her hands in its face. There's ignoring the problem because it just won't be solved, and then there's making the problem worse. She was making the problem worse.

[marty]

Yep. The kid crying I could handle, the mother pretty much harassing it I couldn't.

[Alpha Strike]

Babies cry.

It's not like they have an unlimited vocabulary to tell people what's wrong with them.

Yeah it's annoying, but is it really worth the hostility?

When I go out, especially to movies or restaraunts, I feel that expecting a certain amount of quiet is not unreasonable.

So while I don't think tiny infants or little children are necessarily yelling and screaming just to irritate me, if I'm stuck by them while they do this I DO get irritated (by the high volume of noise) and pissed off (at the parent not doing anything).

[Lace Neil Singer]

Exactly that. If I was sitting in McDonalds and there were children making a racket around me, I'd expect that. However, in a nice restaurant, I do not expect it and shouldn't have to have put up with a selfish mother and her out of control brats. Honestly, if you can afford to eat at a posh restaurant, you can afford a sitter.

I will always ask a waiter to get the manager over in a restaurant; or go talk to an usher in the cinema. Cuz I know that these bad parents will act as tho you're the Baby Eating Bishop Of Bath And Wells if you dare to criticize their little darlings.

[Acolyte]

Once my family were at the local grocery store with my (awesome) Grandma, and we heard a kid start yelling. Probably about 5 or so, and yelling 'Yaa! Yaa! Yaa!'-the kind of yell where you know he was yelling just to hear his own voice. And his parents were doing squat-all, besides saying 'Inside voice!' So, my Grandma leans over and says to my Dad 'You know, if you'd ever have done that, you'd have gotten your ass whupped.'

[gunsage]

The sad part is that a lot of parents assume that by ignoring their children, they'll shut up. Sorry, FAIL. The truth is that kids'll do just about whatever the hell they want. Ah, but who's that in that shining armor (aka laundry day outfit)? Why, it's DAD MAN! And his everloving sidekick, MOM WOMAN! Truth be told, it's up to the parents to discipline the kids, not the kids to understand they're being a nuisance.

Example: You're out in a restaurant and your kid's acting up. Do you...

A) Beat the hell out of 'im. Right there.
B) Yell yell yell yell YELL.
C) Do absolutely shit nothing.
D) Progressive discipline with mindfulness of being in public and ACTUALLY FOLLOW THROUGH.
E) Put on a song and dance about progressive discipline, but don't follow through, and give everyone the "Please, shoot me now" look.

Obviously the answer, in this day and age (crucial statement), is D. Hey, don't get me wrong...A and B sound like attractive options. The problem is you're in public. In public, people like to get in your shit. The best thing to do is make a valiant attempt, thinking ahead, of how to successfully progressively discipline the child. Here's my standard tactics...

1) Evil eye. You have NO idea how effective this is.
2) Verbal warning, standard tone.
3) Verbal warning, TROUBLE tone, possible arm grab.
4) Depends on the incident. Chances are, physical contact. More often than not, isolation.

And now to put this into motion. Let's say my baby girl keeps trying to take her placemat and throw it on the floor. 90% of the time, her first attempt is unsuccessful. Being that she's less than 2, obviously I want to handle this delicately as I understand her memory isn't all that great yet and clearly would get nothing from me going zero to pissed fresh out of the gate.

Assuming she's successful, I pick up the mat and give her a verbal warning. If not, I take the mat back and tell her "No, leave it alone." Note that this is not a warning. I have told her both "no" and "leave it alone." These are two recognizable commands to her, as I often don't deter from the verbiage in hopes that at the very least she'll understand the command, not necessarily the right/wrong aspect.

80% of the time, that's that. I'm not saying she WON'T do it again, but IF she does it again, it's not right away, but rather 5 - 15 minutes in the future. That's acceptable. Why? It's not a harmful, hurtful, or in any way dangerous action; it's simply not good table manners and it creates a mess. However, let's assume she either starts "feign crying" (pouting with deliberately loud crying so as to whine because she's not getting her way) or does it again anyway.

In this case, right to the next method...the voice. It's not yelling, it's not growling...it's the voice. Anyway, typically I'll say the following...

"You need to stop."
"That's enough."
"If you don't calm down, you're not getting it back."
"You know not to throw that."

You get the idea. So what next? Well, the good news is often there's NOT a next. These steps alone acknowledge the action that is occurring and show that it's not okay. But just for the sake of...whatever...let's assume she doesn't stop. I'm also elaborating on this because she hasn't QUITE hit the terrible twos yet, so here's a bit of strategy...

I take away the mat, she doesn't get it back. If she continues to be a brat, I take her to the car and talk to her. HOPEFULLY, I don't end up having to spank her. Especially in public, that's exactly what you DON'T want to have happen. Like I said, it's so SO rare that I have to do anything beyond speech with the exception of taking something away. In any case, thus far it hasn't been "hard," but yes, there has been a bit of "practice" as well.

[Alpha Strike]

Exactly that. If I was sitting in McDonalds and there were children making a racket around me, I'd expect that. However, in a nice restaurant, I do not expect it and shouldn't have to have put up with a selfish mother and her out of control brats. Honestly, if you can afford to eat at a posh restaurant, you can afford a sitter.

It almost really doesn't matter to me. Unless I'm in Chucky Cheese or some place that is really geared only for kids, I assume that when I go in to a restaraunt I have some expectation of quiet.

Obviously this isn't always going to happen, and being a realist I understand that I'll run across more kids (and more noise) in McDonalds then the local $50 a plate high-end establishment.

But when we're talking about a public place I try and behave reasonably well and I expect at least some minimum attempts by others as well.