The phenomenon of Incremental Fabrication Escalation

[draco664]

Many of you will recognize the phenomenon.

1. Customer wants something.
2. Customer is informed that said something is not possible/available.

At this point, unsucky customers accept the word of the service person, and go about their lives without the immediate benefit of said something. Of course, even if the ratio of unsucky to sucky is ninety-nine to one, you always remember that one bastard.

3. Customer ignores the preposition that what he wants is unavailable. Typically, when invoking the incremental exaggeration, a story must be told. In nearly all cases, the story is boring, pointless and does nothing to change the situation. However, during the course of said story, a number of facts are presented.

eg, I'm 10 miles from home, and I need to get the last $20 from the bank to buy fuel to get home, and the ATM just swallowed my card. (Generally, this kind of call occurs five minutes after the only possible person who could have helped them has left for a weekend away and is uncontactable.)

4. Since in the time it took to tell the story, nothing actually changed in reality, the customer is again informed that his original want/need is still not possible/available.

5. Customer insists that he needs it. It is at this point that the story morphs, taking the first steps in becoming an entity of its own.

eg, I'm 20 miles from home, and I need to get $20 out to buy fuel to get me and my son home, and it's cold.

6. Repeat step 4. Usually, the customer is also informed that he has the sympathy of the customer service agent, but there is really nothing that can be done.
7. Customer (if he hasn't already) gets angry, and begins making demands. At this point, the story generally really takes off.

eg, I'm 100 miles from home, and I need to get money out of my account, which currently has a balance of $1000, and my two kids in the car are cold and hungry.

8. Repeat step 6. References to reality are often used at this point.
9. Customer refuses to accept reality. Story now verges on the kind that National Geographic often make documentaries about.

eg, I'm 1000 miles from home, I need some of the $100,000 I have in the bank, and my three kids are in the car and desperately need to get somewhere warm.

10, 11, 12... Rinse, lather, repeat until sucky customer gives up and claims that he will never use your service again. (Bonus points if he threatens legal action.) Generally, the person is still a customer a week later, since actually organizing to move banks/suppliers/billers is too much work.

---

I'm sure many of you have had exposure to the phenomenon. Personally, I've never understood it. The person if flat out lying in an effort to twist reality around their problem, yet refuses to believe a consistent set of facts - that they can't be helped.

From a purely logical point of view, one must assume that the customer believes that there is some mystical point, or some magical set of criteria, which (if their situation passes) then suddenly means that they can be helped.

However, since logic is not a particularly widespread commodity among the hoards of sucky customers out there, that particular hypothesis must be discarded.

Do any of you have theories on the origins of said phenomenon? Or even amusing examples for us to peruse and laugh at?

Draco

[Bluenomi]

While I am at a loss to explain it (beyond the usual customer suckiness) I can certainly attest to its occurrence.

For example someone rings to book some equipment at the last minute.

They start of needing a data projector for a meeting in 2 hours. Upon hearing we don't have one it becomes a data projector for a meeting with a minister in an hour.

When they hear we still don't have one it turns into a important meeting with several ministers in half an hour.

If that doesn't work you get the earth shatteringly important meeting with every minister in the country and the Prime minister starting right now!

They get really cranky when I point out the PM is out of town at the time

[Victoria J]

Sadly they probably do it because it works. Not necessary the lying - but the refusing to take no for an answer and making a fuss.

I spent some time unemployed after college - I took a voluntary job and trained and got some experience and I've been working ever since, but I was claiming unemployment benefits for a while. I was sitting at the Job Centre one day when this woman started to throw a tantrum, she wasn't entirely wrong as they'd messed up and left her without money but the staff were saying that they would pay her the next day and couldn't do a cheque for the same day. She must have spent half an hour yelling and making a fuss and spinning sob stories. I'm thinking she's a badly behaved idiot until a manager walks out and hands her a cheque. Then I'm thinking she's actually fairly smart, and they are the ones who were in the wrong for lying to her. I'm sure the woman would do it again - and I'm not sure I wouldn't have done in her position after seeing it work.

It is one of the things I hate most at work - when I tell someone I can't do something because it is our policy (which I have little say in), the customer makes a huge fuss and the manager who's been telling me to say no agrees we'll do whatever they want. It makes me look like I'm just being mean, completely undermines me in front of the customer who gets all smug at having gone over your head, plus the manager will not normally do the work themselves !

The only remaining mystery is why they lie so obviously - you heard the first story and the later ones so they must know you know they're lying. I'd guess it's so that when they get a supervisor they can say "X is mean because I told them I had 3 children ..."

If there is any chance they really think there is a "sympathy" point at which they'll get what they want you just need to cut them off when they start. I often have to tell people we can't help because it's not our open hours or appointments have all been booked and I find that if you the person tell you what their crisis of the moment is they'll be much more upset when you tell them you can't help. They'll believe that if they'd said something else you would help and that you don't believe their problem is important. If you just say no, and when they try and tell you why they need help you cut them off and just explain that it makes no difference people get less angry. At least in my experience.

Victoria J

[Jacen]

However, since logic is not a particularly widespread commodity among the hoards of sucky customers out there, that particular hypothesis must be discarded.

If Logic worked, there would be no need for customerssuck.com

[Imogene]

Fish stories!
"I once caught a trout that was this big..."
Next time the story is told:
"I fought the fish for ten minutes, and it was at least double what I used last time."
Next time:
"I fought the fish for an hour, it was at least a world record."
And, of course, finally:
"I fought the Jaws, and I won."

[Aggravated Associate]

It is one of the things I hate most at work - when I tell someone I can't do something because it is our policy (which I have little say in), the customer makes a huge fuss and the manager who's been telling me to say no agrees we'll do whatever they want. It makes me look like I'm just being mean, completely undermines me in front of the customer who gets all smug at having gone over your head, plus the manager will not normally do the work themselves !

This is so depressingly true. I've come to learn that no matter WHAT corporate policy is, if the customer kicks and screams and throws a big enough fit, we'll bend over (...backwards) and do whatever they want. More times than I can count, I've told a customer, "I'm sorry, ma'am/sir, but we can't do that. I can't do that. We don't do that here. Our policy states.... ma'am/sir... ma'am/sir... but..." they then demand a manager who comes over and immediately gives in to whatever they're asking for. And when I say whatever, I mean "whatever." I've seen some absolutely ridiculous demands met, including a college girl who once brought in a TRASH BAG full of FOUR sets of old sheets which were well used, dirty, and full of holes. Two of the colors had been DISCONTINUED over two years ago. I'll go ahead and let you all in on the ending: she got her refund.

[IHateStupidCustomers]

I really hate it when the customers pull the whiny "but I NEED it" crap.

Me: I'm sorry, sir, but that item is not available/discontinued/we don't carry it/whatever.
SC: But I NEED it!

What do they expect me to say?? "OH! Well, in that case, here you go!" Because I don't really want to sell stuff. I don't want to make money. But, if you NEED, I guess I could make an exception...

Or the crap like:

SC: "BUT so-and-so store has it!!"

GO THERE THEN!!! Just because another store at another mall has something, that doesn't mean I do. And it's not going to make it materialize out of nowhere because you mention that the other store has it.

[HawaiianShirts]

This is long. Forgive me. I don't mean to hijack the thread, but I didn't want to make a new thread on exactly the same subject draco664 started.

If you just say no, and when they try and tell you why they need help you cut them off and just explain that it makes no difference people get less angry. At least in my experience.

Sometimes interrupting does work. In fact, it's the only thing that can be done in some cases.

Here's my IFE story.

Once had a woman call about something she ordered. It was a computer-related product, so she called the computer department. Makes sense, but I can't help. If it's a special order, it goes to Customer Service. I transfer the calls there, and usually the customer gets the information and/or product they need. This woman decided to make things difficult.

She called once. She explained her situation. She had ordered X product that was supposed to come in on a particular date. It arrived on that date but showed up damaged. We informed her of that and placed a second order. She was grouchy about it but not extremely angry; she just wanted to know if X product was ready for pick-up. I said I didn't know. I said Customer Service would know. I said I would transfer her to them. She said, "Okay." I made the transfer.

About a minute later, she called again. She said the last guy she talked to was rude, unprofessional, and hung up on her. She angrily told me her story about X product again. I said I didn't know about X product but I knew someone who would know. I offered to transfer her to the correct person. She said, "Okay, thank you." I made the transfer.

About a minute later, she called a third time. She complained that everyone she has spoken to so far has been nothing but rude to her. She said she should be given some kind of compensation for having to deal with such "ignernt" associates. She gave me the run-down on X product again, extending the time she had to wait by about three weeks and claiming that she'd had to return the damaged X product and convince us to order her a new one without charging her shipping again (which we don't charge for any order placed that way). Once again, I told her I couldn't help but would transfer her to someone who could. She said, "Fine." I made the transfer.

About a minute later, she called one more time. I heard, "I just called! No one there is helping me! You..." I cut her off and said, "Ma'am, I STILL can't help you. You need to talk to Customer Service. If you'll hold on for just a moment, I'll transfer you to them. They'll be able to tell you if X product is ready for you." She tried telling me not to hang up on her like "the last guy" did. I interrupted again, "I have not once hung up on you. I transferred you. If you'll wait for the phone to ring at the Customer Service desk, someone will pick up and help you. Would you like me to transfer you?" Finally, she agreed and waited and got her precious whatever-it-was.

Bah.