I need some aspirin and a heating pad.

[Princess-Snake]

The heating pad's for my leg, and the aspirin is for the headache the customers gave me today.

These Boots Were Made for Walking
A Paris Hilton wannabe storms up to me and screams because her "our defective carts" scuffed one of her designer boots. I look down, her boots look fine. Not a scuff to be seen. She keeps pointing to an invisible scuffmark and demands free groceries. The police finally removed her after she tried to jump on me but failed and crashed to the floor when I stepped out of the way.

My boots were made for kicking
For those people with no class
If you piss me off
This boot's going up your ass

Livin' La Vida Loca
Once again, my ex comes by with another attempt to get back together with me after I have repeatedly told him it's not going to happen. He comes and tells me that while I was in the hospital, he's been dreaming of loving me in Vegas and wouldn't I like that dream to come true? I like to gamble after all, dance, have some fun, and how he'll teach me to tango all through the noche (his words) and how he has a pasion (accent over the "o") for his senorita. (accent over the "n") This man has hurt me so many times, I would be insane to go back. I told him that if he didn't leave me alone right this second, I was going to scratch his ojos out of his cabeza and replace them with those two pebbles he calls testiculos. (accent over the "i") He immediately ran out.

Little Bitty
I had to reshelve the pickles and they were at a high shelf. My leg hurts real bad, so I asked if a co-worker of mine could do it. Manager agreed. Some jerk from one of my classes overhears this and goes, "Awww. Poor little bitty girl. Would you like a bottle and blankie to help you go night night?" I turn to him and go, "Awww. Would you like me to punch you in the eye and make you go night night?" He knows me too well and left. When I say something, I mean it.

[dalejrfan71]

Tell your ex that if he keeps bothering you, you will replace his nuts with deviled eggs.

[Slow-Jo]

i too am the same. it takes new people only once to figure out that my idle threats are not so idle.

[ladyklack]

I told him that if he didn't leave me alone right this second, I was going to scratch his ojos out of his cabeza and replace them with those two pebbles he calls testiculos. (accent over the "i") He immediately ran out.

all I have to say is,

[Boozy]

I like to gamble after all, dance, have some fun, and how he'll teach me to tango all through the noche (his words) and how he has a pasion (accent over the "o") for his senorita. (accent over the "n")

I can't believe you managed to say no to such a sweet talking casanova.

Seriously though, good for you sister!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I had to reshelve the pickles and they were at a high shelf. My leg hurts real bad, so I asked if a co-worker of mine could do it. Manager agreed. Some jerk from one of my classes overhears this and goes, "Awww. Poor little bitty girl. Would you like a bottle and blankie to help you go night night?" I turn to him and go, "Awww. Would you like me to punch you in the eye and make you go night night?" He knows me too well and left. When I say something, I mean it.

You're evil. I love it.