I am a prankster, part 2.

[edible_hat]

The car wash reported "in use", the CCTV pointed at it showed it empty. Investigation revealed a broken spring causing the car-detecting plate to be stuck permanently down (in the position it's in when there's a car parked on top of it). So the car wash was out of order for 2 days while the repairman waited for the replacement spring to arrive.

Which resulted in the following conversation at least twice an hour...

Me: "Sorry, the car wash is out of order."
SC: "You're kidding!" (or, for variety, "Seriously?")

Of course it works fine, we're just pretending it's broken because we think making you drive around in a dirty car is hilarious.

[IHateStupidCustomers]

My boyfriend (who more often that I'd like acts like an SC) does that all the time. Annoys the crap out of me.

Or when at a restaurant and the cashier/waiter asks what he wants to drink he'll try to be funny and say something like "crack" or, when ordering at a fast food place, "beer."

They don't think that's funny.

[aurelemsrealm]

I hate people who think they're being clever when they act stupid. At work, I tend to act indifferent toward the majority of customers because I'm concentrating on my job. I frequently find myself giving those kind of customers the raised eyebrow look before I finally shake my head and shrug it off in dismissal. They keep it up like I'm supposed to laugh along with them even if I'm not amused, or try to convince me how funny it must have been because they thought they were so clever.

For instance, when you ask a beer customer for ID because it's the law regardless of age and they make some remark about being older than dirt, I've frequently begun to respond with a comment like, "Yes, I'm sure you are old." It doesn't even mean I'm annoyed at them. It just means that I'm too busy to be amused. It's just that I hear such remarks so often that there is no hope of it being a funny ever again.

Then, there was the kid who was clowning around the other day on a pair of those stupid shoes with the built in roller skate. He kept running around and skating. I was busy with customers, so I never said anything. I just looked up at him thinking how I'd slap my kids upside the head for being stupid enough to try skating inside the store where accidents can easily happen. As he was coasting on the wheels at one point, he stumbled and fell flat on his butt. I just looked over at him, and could see he wasn't hurt. So, I shrugged and went back to work thinking to myself, "It's your own damned fault! Don't even try to bitch to me about falling because I will give you my opinion on skate shoes indoors." I could tell by his expression that he knew exactly what I was thinking. The funny part was that he quickly got his stuff, got in line, and sheepishly left after I rang him up. Simply put, I'm not in the mood for bullshit, so don't start it!

[Sylvia727]

My grocery store posted a sign in their window about two or three months ago, stating that no wheels should be deployed in the store, including skate boards and wheelie shoes. I shudder to think how much damage was done before they posted that.

[smileyeagle1021]

You know, I'm guilty of seeing an out of order sign and asking an employee if they know when something will be repaired... I can't stand the people though who will ask if it really is.
Though this topic does remind me of one of my borderline SC moments... I noticed that the power in my neighborhood was out while I was driving home and I pulled into the 7-11, I knew they couldn't sell anything but I stopped in to ask the employees if they knew how long the power had been out so I would know whether or not I needed to find somewhere with power still to buy ice for my fridge/freezer.

[aurelemsrealm]

I think asking an employee if they know when something will be repaired is a different matter than asking if something is really out of order when a sign is clearly posted stating that fact.

[Gabrielle Proctor]

We have a sign on our door that says our store isn't a skatepark, so don't roll around in it. One father was reading it before he walked in, looked at is son and said, "You see that, you can't roll in here." And the kid looked at him and asked in a whiny voice, "Awwww...Can I do it anyway?" And the father said, "No! Can't you read, boy?"

That made me rofl so hard.

[bainsidhe]

At a local shopping mall, security actually had a 14 year-old arrested for scating in the mall. From the article I read, security had warned him multiple times and he completely disregarded their warnings and was posing a hazard as he zipped around and between shoppers, children and booths.

The cops let him go pretty quick, they more wanted to make a point than anything. And of course, the media whined how horrible it was a mere child was arrested for something so insignificant. Meanwhile, most of my customers and coworkers who discussed this incident sided with the police and were sick to death of seeing twerps zipping around and into people with those annoying wheels.

So I ask ya, you ever see one of those kids zipping by and just feel like sticking your foot out?" I'd never do it, of course. But I get a warm feeling at the thought.

[smileyeagle1021]

So I ask ya, you ever see one of those kids zipping by and just feel like sticking your foot out?" I'd never do it, of course. But I get a warm feeling at the thought.

Oh, I get a warm feeling just at hearing the thought... yes i am an evil sob

[zzapp the witch]

The kids I had to put up with wearing those this summer were pretty mild save one. Kid was being a complete asshat about not skating in the animal barn. You could seriously cause some damage in there! Not only to yourself, but to people's animals.

"What're YOU gonna do to me? You can't do nuthin, that's what!"

So I hollered: "First person to trip this guy after he starts rollin so that he lands flat on his face gets a crisp $100 bill!"

"I can sue!"

"No you can't, we have a sign." With me pointing to it.

Meanwhile, all the 4-Hers in the barn and lined up on various aisles with grins. Shoulda heard the "Awwwwww"s when that kid left without rolling. I love those kids. I'm also glad my mom didn't see it (she's the barn superintendant).

Edit: Actually, thinking about it, I had more than one....think I told the story on the other though.

[Saydrah]

for scating in the mall.

Many unintended lawls at this turn of phrase.

[Shengirl]

Many unintended lawls at this turn of phrase.

I'm glad it wasn't just me. XD

[edible_hat]

The car wash is back in action, with no problems. However:

(Credit card is declined)
SC: You're kidding! Don't lie! Try it again!
(after it rejects the second time)
SC: You are joking. That's impossible!

Yeah, I got sick of pretending the car wash is broken and have moved on to pretending you went over your credit limit.

[aurelemsrealm]

I love when people start in whining about how it can't be because they have money in the bank, just made a deposit, or some other such comment in a desperate attempt to save face.

First of all, relax!!! I don't pass judgements. I don't care that much about a customer's finances to bother with speculation. My primary concern is that they pay for their stuff and go on their merry way without causing me a bunch of grief. Just find another way to pay for it, and call the bank later to ask why.

Second of all, don't ask me why the card was declined. It's none of my business. Therefore, I have no idea. It could be anything from a failure of the network to a failure of the bank. That's the only explanation that I'm going to offer you, take it or leave it. If a card doesn't work after a couple of tries, it's unlikely it will work, period. Don't take it out on me. I can assure you that I'm not messing with your card for my own amusement. All I can tell you is to call your bank once you've paid by another means and went on your merry way.

Third of all, don't hold up my line while you try to figure it out. If you can't pay by any other means, then please just move aside so that other customers in line can pay for their stuff and go.

[Geek King]

So I ask ya, you ever see one of those kids zipping by and just feel like sticking your foot out?" I'd never do it, of course. But I get a warm feeling at the thought.

I did it accidentally (no, really! Honest!) in a supermarket once. Does that count? The kid took out an entire display of that apple dipping stuff.

I can't help it if my toes exit the aisle 30 seconds before the rest of me.