Punishment or Penalties?

[AmericanZero8503]

Does anyone have a way that they punish sucky, or rude, customers?

For instance, most of the customers at my store have NO patience. I have a countdown office that is enclosed and I have one way glass so I can see when customers walk up.

Well the customers can't see me. So as soon as they are up there they start asking the cashiers if I'm up here...or the worst they knock on the desk. Which is loud and annoying.

Usually I'm wrapping something up when I'm in the back. Some paperwork, bookkeeping, emails...etc. I hate being interrupted. So here is the penalty system.

Each knock on the desk- 1 minute wait
Ask a cashier- 2 minute wait
Don't put cash in my extended hand- I fling quarters at you so they fall off the desk
You make a mistake and blame it on me- You have a harder time trying to return something

I'm interested if anyone else does this. My boss thinks it hilarious because patience is something that doesn't exist at this store, so she can relate.

[Kittish]

One thing that really annoys me past all bounds is people who spell EVERYTHING, even simple things like street, south, drive, city.... I've never quite had the nerve to do it, but I'm always tempted to do this:

Me: What's the zip code there please?
SC: 12345
Me: How do you spell that please?
SC: .....What?

[Flood]

Whenever someone is being unreasonably impatient with me, I slow down. If they're losing patience for legitimate reasons, I apologize profusely.

This goes beyond work with me. When I'm driving, I usually drive the speed limit or five miles over. There's a whole breed of assholes that like to tailgate with their brights on as a way of telling me to speed up. It has an opposite effect on me. Whenever put in that situation, my speedometer drops. Like a rock. One time, the guy behind me couldn't get the hint to the point where I was barely drifting by as fast as my idling engine would coast me. I swear I could hear the guy's blood vessels popping over his mindless screaming.

[pyxee]

Hmm, generally I have a few tricks up my sleeve.

Mostly I just do everything very slowly, count money back real slow then say oops think I did that wrong let me do it again, or if it is a big bill I make them wait while I pull tens from the safe.
If they are a regular SC who hates change ( like 1$ coins) I will hunt out the most beat up ones and give them to him.
One very mean thing I did a few times with some of our really annoying pot heads ( if you have sold single cigars you know what I am talking about) they always want the freshest ones, so I will deliberately give them the stalest one I see. I used to have the ones that would stand there inspecting the stupid thing for forever, to make sure it would work, so when one of these guys would come in all in a hurry, I actually snapped a few in half as I pulled it from the box.

[RichS]

When I'm driving, I usually drive the speed limit or five miles over. There's a whole breed of assholes that like to tailgate with their brights on as a way of telling me to speed up. It has an opposite effect on me. Whenever put in that situation, my speedometer drops. Like a rock.

I thought that I was the only one who did that!

I don't like tailgaters - I've driven in cars that have been hit in the back twice, I don't want another. I go 5 over, if someone tailgates me, it's speed limit and below until they get the hint.

[Sonoma]

Years ago, in my fast food days, I would usually work the drive-thru during rushes. From time to time, I'd have to ask someone to hold a moment, before giving me their order. Usually if someone was being difficult at the window(adding to or changing their existing order was the biggest culprit). It happened a lot that after telling someone I'd be with them in just a moment, they'd just begin ordering. We could see the menu area from the drive-thru, so I knew at a glance that their window was down, and they should have heard me telling them it would be just a moment. If they ignored my request, and just started ordering, I "didn't hear them" . I was focusing on the person at the window, which is the reason I asked them to wait initially. I felt a certain happiness in their reactions when I thanked them for their patience, and asked for their order.

Kinda mean, I know. But, after working there for enough years, it got to be a pet peeve of mine. All I asked for was just a few seconds.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I have punished countless SC by simply giving them exactly, precisely, what they say they want. I have punished them by charging them exactly what the price list says I should. I have also punished them by becoming as stupid as they think I am and forcing them to rely on their own shitty communication skills to place an order. I've screwed up their whole day by taking them at their word.

SC frequently hoist themselves on their own petartds. Examples:

Instead of talking to me to find out their needs, they insist they need something they don't really need that costs a lot and takes forever. If they are a jerk I let them do it. I usually marked on the job jacket to NOT negotiate cost when the SC was crying and complaining at the register.

It says clearly on the board that pasteups are 25 dollars each (they used to be very expensive in the old days). If you ask for thirty of them, I'm going to assume you don't realize that and as a courtesy, give you a polite heads up that they are very expensive and you could save quite a bit doing the work out in self serve. If you are a bitch about it, I won't press the issue nor will I price it out for unasked. And I will mark on the job jacket not to negotiate price when you are crying and complaining at the register.

If you don't know the proper way to ask for what you want, (and many people don't, there's no shame there, Kinko's ordering can be complicated and many don't understand what all we can do.) I will walk you through it without embarassing you or making you feel dumb or overwhelmed. If you are a wad about it, you'll suffer feeling all three and I'll let you fuck up the order so bad you'll end up with a live goat instead of a box of copies.

If you tell me "I'm never coming here again" I will respect you enough to believe you. Therefore, there's no reason to spend another second of my very limited time with you. Next customer!

[Saydrah]

What if I want a live goat instead of the copies? Goats are cute.

[NightAngel]

I thought that I was the only one who did that!

OH! Here's my favorite- right on red is legal in most places in the US. However, the law states you MUST come to a full stop and look for oncoming traffic before turning. Duh.

Okay, so when I make my stop to check traffic if you're a jackass and start honking/yelling at me to GO! before I have fully stopped even- you just earned yourself the chance to sit through the ENTIRE light. That's right I'll roll up my window, crank up the music and you can honk, call me names and scream your fool head off and I'm not gonna move. Why? 'Cause you're an asshat.

Hey, it's legal NOT mandatory.

[Saydrah]

My personal favorite driving move is when you're in the left turn lane as the light is about to turn red, and as the oncoming traffic stops, in that INSTANT between that light turning red and the other traffic getting a green light, everyone behind you expects you to dash through the intersection and hope that nobody is having just a bad enough day to T-bone you anyway knowing that since you are making a left turn the police will rule it is your fault for failure to yield the right of way.

I refuse to take risks making a left turn- I can't afford an accident, either physically or financially. So if someone honks at me because I won't go left as the light is changing and choose to wait for an arrow instead, I lean out the window, smile, wave, and shout, "Hi there! Long time no see!"

They continue to curse and make rude gestures- I continue to act like I'm hard of hearing and think my long lost best friend is in the car behind me.

[pyxee]

My personal favorite driving move is when you're in the left turn lane as the light is about to turn red, and as the oncoming traffic stops, in that INSTANT between that light turning red and the other traffic getting a green light, everyone behind you expects you to dash through the intersection and hope that nobody is having just a bad enough day to T-bone you anyway knowing that since you are making a left turn the police will rule it is your fault for failure to yield the right of way.

I refuse to take risks making a left turn- I can't afford an accident, either physically or financially. So if someone honks at me because I won't go left as the light is changing and choose to wait for an arrow instead, I lean out the window, smile, wave, and shout, "Hi there! Long time no see!"

They continue to curse and make rude gestures- I continue to act like I'm hard of hearing and think my long lost best friend is in the car behind me.

Dear heavens I know that feeling, unfortunately my hubby is one of the ones that pulls out dead center of the lane, I just know he is going to hit one of these days, but he will never listen to me. He wont let me drive either because I am such a wimpy driver, because I wait for lights, instead of gunning it.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yeah, when assholes do this to me, my car suddenly stalls. Stick shifts do that sometimes, oh, well. And then I can't seem to find the gear. Gear knob sticks sometimes when there is proximity to rude dumbshits. I dunno why that happens.

Sometimes it happens a couple times. Go figure.

[Seenoevil]

I just have to say... I love you guys

[daleduke17]

OH! Here's my favorite- right on red is legal in most places in the US. However, the law states you MUST come to a full stop and look for oncoming traffic before turning. Duh.

Okay, so when I make my stop to check traffic if you're a jackass and start honking/yelling at me to GO! before I have fully stopped even- you just earned yourself the chance to sit through the ENTIRE light. That's right I'll roll up my window, crank up the music and you can honk, call me names and scream your fool head off and I'm not gonna move. Why? 'Cause you're an asshat.

Hey, it's legal NOT mandatory.

Done it several times. I've also done the slow down with the jerk flashing their headlights at you on the interstate.

One time I was headed to college and was on I55 on the southeast side of Springfield. This part of the interstate is two lanes NB, two lanes SB. I was in the left hand SB lane passing a semi. Idiot behind me thought I wasn't going fast enough. Well, it took me just a little long to pass that semi as the semi driver laughed his ass off at the lady. I took the south split to Toronto Road, idiot took the north split into town just cussing me. :-p

[ArenaBoy]

On topic: I would make a customer publicly humiliated if other customers complained. My favorite moment was a guy who refused to drive ahead because he was lacking a pass. A customer behind him asked what was taking so long. "Don't blame me, blame the guy in front of you." Oh man the comments that flew out and the picture worthy moment of catching that idiot on camera.

For driving: Tailgaters I slow down big time and if it's a nice day out I open the window and depending on the idiot's age I blast a certain type of music that I know will irritate them. If it's a person who looks to be my age, I'll annoy them with Serge Gainsbourg. If it's a driver who's old enough (30s, 40s, 50s) to know better I'll blast metal or techno.

As for the light, one honk and I'm staying there whether you like it or not.