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  • The Oxycontin Bug!

    This story is legendary at my place of work!

    I work at a mail-order pharmacy that deals with Worker's Compensation related injuries. We dispense a higher volume than most pharmacies of narcotic pain relievers. Of course, patients run a risk of developing a dependency on these medications and then they will lie like a DOG in order to get more!

    One patient sent us back an empty bottle of Oxycontin along with a note saying that a bug had gotten inside her bottle and EATEN ALL of her Oxycontin! (Pain free bug!) The note further stated that she had been able to TRAP the bug inside the bottle! ...Of course there was no bug in the bottle. There was, however one tine little ball of fuzz. We all laughed and this ball of fuzz has become famous around the office as the "Oxycontin Bug!" We take the bottle and the note out to show new hires, just what lengths people will go to to get more narcotics!

  • #2
    thats pretty funny,

    we also had a legendary story at my old job where we did observed drug testing on federal probationers, they had a hall of fame of "devices" used to try to get around our strict testing procedures.

    one guy in particular actually used a life like "dildo" which he drilled a whole through inserted a tube which was attached to the baggy of urnine and then some how (i really dont remember how) squeezed the urine through the hole.

    the guy who was testing him said that he might have fooled him except for a few details, 1 penises are usually flacid when in urinating state, this one was erect. and the biggest one was that the person who was takeing the test was black, the penis in question was infact white.

    yes they will try just about anything to get drugs, and get around the tests to detect them.
    "Let's connect to some ones cyberbrain who is meditating, so we can download enlightenment" one of the Tachikomas (Ghost in the Shell 2nd gig)

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    • #3
      When I had my wisdom teeth out in January, I was introduced to the wonder that is Hydrocodone.

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      • #4
        Auto, we had to delete your post. You really should know better.
        Take that discussion to www.fratching .com.
        Too tired of living and too tired to end it. What a conundrum.

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        • #5
          I want an Oxycontin bug! I never take painkillers unless I'm literally screaming in agony- I don't like the side effects and lightheadedness- so when I was in the hospital for appendicitis and the hospital people were afraid of being sued for failing to provide adequate pain relief, they forced me to take Percoset. I was sick and dizzy all day from it. Had I had an Oxycontin bug, I could have surreptitiously slipped the tabs down my shirt to it- unless it didn't like Percoset, I guess.
          My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

          Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

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          • #6
            I was on Percocet when I had my wisdom teeth out. Talk about being on Cloud 9. That stuff is powerful. In fact, that was the time we switched pharmacies. The pharmacy we usually used actually refused to let my wife fill the prescription, saying I had to come in for it. Never mind the fact I'm at home, still woozy from the twilight sleep and unable to drive, and in a LOT of pain. Fortunately another local pharmacy did fill it for her.
            A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F.....

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            • #7
              When I had my wisdom teeth out I took the painkillers twice. Both times I nearly threw up. After that I stuck to Tylenol and ice cream. Luckily my pain wasn't too bad.
              I don't go in for ancient wisdom
              I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
              It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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              • #8
                Quoth queenbb View Post
                thats pretty funny,
                one guy in particular actually used a life like "dildo" which he drilled a whole through inserted a tube which was attached to the baggy of urnine and then some how (i really dont remember how) squeezed the urine through the hole.

                the guy who was testing him said that he might have fooled him except for a few details, 1 penises are usually flacid when in urinating state, this one was erect. and the biggest one was that the person who was takeing the test was black, the penis in question was infact white.
                I just don't think idiot covers this.

                I never really been on pain killers so I don't have any stories. I think that is a good thing.
                Am I sad because I am looking forward to the day when the people I will be dealing with will no longer be able to talk back?

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                • #9
                  I actually just got off a script of Percocets, and let me tell you...towards the end there, I was starting to get paranoid of if I was actually in pain and needed them, or tricked myself into thinking I was in pain so I COULD take them.
                  Nice warm feeling, but I got rid of them. Lets just say painkiller addiction isn't a road I want to travel...especially when it apparently leads to "ridiculous lies" blvd.

                  Oh, and the way that stuff.....backs things up....helped in my decision as well!



                  Prob TMI...sorry!!

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                  • #10
                    its not an easy road let me tell you. i have had a few major surgeries, and one of them was botched so im in alot of pain all the time. i have been on pain killers for quite a few years. darvocet and robaxin (a muscle relaxant)

                    i dont like to be on the major ones because addiction runs in my family, and even though i know that i am dependent on them, i have been off of them for long periods of time with out any withdraw symptoms. i do get a lot of pain though so much so that i can barley walk at times.

                    right now im in the middle of a workmans comp claim where i was injured removing some tires off the floor. it was a reinjury of my previous condition. they kept me on the darvocet and robaxin, and when i had a relapse i was put on oxycotin. that was nice, the best nights sleep i had in a long time, and since then i have also been able to sleep alot better for some reason. i called the dr to ask to refill my prescription and he thought i ment the oxycotin, and refused to refill any of them at all. i had a long fight with the drs about it, they started writing in my chart the exact oppisite of what i had been telling them about my pain which at that time was alot, they actually tried to release my claim over it, i said i never said that my pain was better i said infact it was worse now that you have taken me off the meds, and this is the most amount of pain i have been in since i had the surgery in the first place. i got that all streightend out though.
                    "Let's connect to some ones cyberbrain who is meditating, so we can download enlightenment" one of the Tachikomas (Ghost in the Shell 2nd gig)

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                    • #11
                      When I sprained my ankle and couldn't make it to the pharmacy, Walgreens let my fiance pick it up for me. And our last names are different and everything. Weird.

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                      • #12
                        My pain specialist gave me tramadol hydrochloride. (sold as Tramel and Zydol, perhaps other simplified names.)

                        It's a synthetic opiate, and he told me there's been no history of people being addicted to it. It works well on my pain, and may be worth a try for those of you who need pain meds and are concerned about addiction.
                        Seshat's self-help guide:
                        1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                        2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                        3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                        4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                        "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                        • #13
                          actually tramadols warnings state that if you have had an opiate problem its likely that you will become addicted. i had to research this because one of my clients was takeing it because saying the same thing you are. i had to go to court with my findings she was put in jail for the issue.

                          i personally can not take tramadol, i took it before but it caused a seizure because it reacted with one of my other medications, since i had the seizure the drs wont put me on it.
                          "Let's connect to some ones cyberbrain who is meditating, so we can download enlightenment" one of the Tachikomas (Ghost in the Shell 2nd gig)

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                          • #14
                            Quoth IT Grunt View Post
                            I was on Percocet when I had my wisdom teeth out. Talk about being on Cloud 9.
                            Hehe that's good stuff. At one point during and after my hernia surgery in 2004, I was on several pain meds, at least 8 Let's just say it was a good thing I had 2 weeks off from work. Between that and the pain, there was no way in hell I was driving
                            Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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                            • #15
                              Years ago, before zolmitriptan (not a painkiller) was available, I had to take narcotics to treat my migraines.

                              My doctor was concerned by the amount I needed to take and the length of time I was on them. I eventually built up such a resistance to them that there was no dose short of hospital-administrated liquid morphine that was effective. I was very concerned about getting into an accident or needing surgery, because there would be few effective and safe painkillers for me to take.

                              Its been years since I've had to take any narcotics now. I don't know if my resistance has weakened or not.

                              If you have to ask, it's probably better posted at www.fratching.com

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