Old McDonald had a farm, E I E I O

[Princess-Snake]

And on that farm he had a racoon

Co-worker went to take some trash out to the dumpster. She opens the dumpster and sees a racoon taking a snooze on one of the bags. As the sun hits the racoon, he wakes up, growls, and practically shoots himself out of the dumpster and up a tree. Co-worker now has a racoon phobia.

And on that farm he had a chicken

I'm ringing up a woman with a toddler. The kid looks out the glass doors, points, and goes, "Look Mommy! Shicken!" Mom looks up and sees this "shicken" and asks me, "Do you know there's a chicken running around in your parking lot?" I look up, and see a chicken walking around and scratching at the black top. The manager notices the chicken as well. While he's trying to figure out what to do, a guy shouts out, "Damn it, Sophie! I told you to close the door!" His wife shouts back, "I did! It ain't my fault the damn door's busted. I told you a flimsy piece of rope ain't gonna keep the door closed!" They both run out arguing, grab the chicken, head to their car (by the way, the passenger side door was wide open) and drive off.

And on that farm he had a bear

Remember my Ten Little Asshats post and how some guy came in here asking for bear meat and camo pants? He came back and he's still looking for his bear meat. And his pants. Brace yourself, Gravekeeper.

[auntiem]

And on that farm he had a racoon

Co-worker went to take some trash out to the dumpster. She opens the dumpster and sees a racoon taking a snooze on one of the bags. As the sun hits the racoon, he wakes up, growls, and practically shoots himself out of the dumpster and up a tree. Co-worker now has a racoon phobia.

Racoon phobias are a very healthy thing my friend. I have endless rants about them on the gardening forum I participate on.

[Alpha Strike]

Ugh. I used to live in an apartment building, with the usual dumpster in back. For some reason a family of racoons decided to make their home in said dumpster, and even worse my girlfriend fancies herself a big "fan of animals."

Normally that's not a problem - in this case however, it meant that she wanted to frequently "visit" the racoons in the dumpster or the nearby grounds and would even try and "help" them out of the dumpster if they looked trapped.

I was convinced I would come out some day to find her encased in pissed-off racoons.

[Custard Chick]

And on that farm he had a racoon

Co-worker went to take some trash out to the dumpster. She opens the dumpster and sees a racoon taking a snooze on one of the bags. As the sun hits the racoon, he wakes up, growls, and practically shoots himself out of the dumpster and up a tree. Co-worker now has a racoon phobia.

Ahh and I share that fear. At the custard stand it was standard to kick the dumpster or hit them with a broom because more often than not a raccoon would be chillin' in there. Last summer I was taking out the trash and did my customary karate kick to the dumpster, then open it and immediately a raccoon started climbing out, his little furry head poking out over the edge. I freak, drop the lid, and knock the damn thing unconscious causing him to fall back into the dumpster. I wouldn't take the trash out anymore after that. lol!

[BlaqueKatt]

and remember why it's good to fear raccoons-

"Raccoons act as a reservoir for rabies in the United States. In fact, the majority of rabies cases in the U.S. are in wildlife, with raccoon cases predominating. In the U.S., 90% of all rabies cases occur in wildlife. During 2000, raccoon rabies made up 41% of wildlife cases diagnosed"

[Boozy]

I will never forget the day my dad had to shoot a rabid raccoon on the farm.

It was the single most scary moment of my childhood, probably of my life. I still get shudders remembering the sight of this vicious, mutant thing. It was huge, too.

It probably didn't help that it was the only time in my life I can remember my dad being visibly afraid. He saw the raccoon first, realized it was approaching my sister and I, and tore across the barnyard at a speed he'll never reach again in his life. He grabbed us by our shirts and literally tossed us into the cab of his truck.

It was also the only time I ever saw the mythical "Gun In the Locked Cabinet In the Shop".

[conflictedwbrg]

i was sitting outside a gas station and my daughter in the back seat yells at me to look cuz a raccoon was climbing out of the dumpster, onto and around the fence and off into the woods. She kept yelling his name (Rj, the raccoon from Over the Hedge