Breaking the Lawls of sanity.

[Narnia~]

Idiot proof phone numbers:

Me: If you don’t have your member number I can pull it up by your telephone number.
SC: oh….ummmm, its xxx-555-2333
Why is it that everyone that forgets their member number has an easily remembered phone number? Is it because they are too stupid to remember so many numbers? Does the repetition create a soothing effect on their over taxed brain? Like feeling you’re an adult because you have a “Big people size” phone number but really it’s just a bunch of 5’s or something?


The Date Dolts:

Me: Any Particular Dates you’d like me to start searching for Availability?

SC: No, Not Really.

Me: … Ok I’ll just start from today onward. Ok?

SC: … k.

Me: Ok So I found something starting on 1/01/08 in-

SC: I CAN’T GO THEN! Try on 1/15/08.

Me: … Ok…
So was your brain taking a moment to heat up? Or is it completely devoid of rational thought juice? Is it because you’re a lobotomized chimp making an effort to be human?
I think I know the answer…

Rules shouldn’t apply to me:
Where I work there’s 3 Levels of stupi…err VIP ownership.
Regular VIP, Gold VIP, and Platinum VIP.

Me: I’m sorry sir; I do not have any availability at that resort at this time. Would you like to know the next time I have a full week?

SC: What do you mean there’s no availability?

Me: At this time we have booked all the rooms at this particular resort.

SC: But I’m an OWNER. I have priority.

Me: Yes sir you do, 13 months in advance you can book your “home resort”. After that it’s open season at 10 months out.

SC: What?! My Sales person said that I could be driving to the resort and just call “you people” up to get my room!
(And you believed a –sales person-?)

Me: Well I do apologize sir but-

SC: Can’t you do something?

Me: I’m sorry I don’t really see-

SC: Can’t you take someone out of a room?

Me: … … … uhh?

SC: You can can’t you?! I-

Me: You want me to kick someone out from their room so you can have it?

SC: Because I’m platinum…I have priority
AnqeiicDemise had one of these as well…Come to think of it I believe all of us have. -_-
All of our timeshare owners get a very specific owners manual…Guess how many read it?
Why would you pay thousands of dollars to own a timeshare and not read the book?
These entitlement whores are the absolute worst.

They’re after me lucky charms…:

Me: Where can I send you on vacation today?

SC: Alexandria.

Me: Alright. What date can I send you to Alexandria?

SC: Washington D.C.…

Me: Yes Ma’am I understand that I want to know what date range I can start looking into.

SC: What? ... Why do you need a date?

*shifty eyes*
Because I’m stealing them ALL@1!!Eleven! 111!


I hope you can hear this…I’m doing it as hard as I can:
I had this miserable blithering idiot of a woman today…
We had to cancel a reservation for her. No problem…
Then we were going to rebook her points into another resort for different dates.
What’s that you say? Not a problem for ME!
So I start looking for availability in her 3 choices.
Myrtle Beach is full for June. Gave her other options there… Too expensive for her current points
So we try further down South Carolina at Edisto.
I did find a room. For the date she wanted. And the price was right…
This would prompt many of us to jump on said reservation.
Instead she made “Ummmm” and “Uhhhh” noises in the phone for 25+ minutes…
I could literally feel my brain dying.
It was such an awful feeling.
Every time I tried to nudge her to a decision it’d start her all over with her horrid cacophony of stupidity.
Bleh.
: (


And yet again my brain dies…
I’m trying to find availability before this lady’s points expire at the end of the year.

Me: So there wasn’t any availability in Hawaii for your (paltry) amount of points. Was there another area I could look for you?

SC: (Frustrated…but it’s her own fault) I don’t KNOW. Where is there availability?

Me: I’m sorry I don’t have a general search option. But if you help me narrow down the scope of our search to a few areas I can pull them up one by one. (I will kill you with cheer *glare*)

SC: How am I supposed to know where your resorts are?! (Whines/demands)

Me: Well if you have your members Directory-

SC:IDON’THAVETHAT! @!@!!

Me: … Ok…Well do you have internet access?

SC: Yes. (Fuss)

So I direct her to our shiny website…point her to the interactive map that lets you select your destination and then it will pull up the location…

Me: If you’re looking for a warm/beach area on a budget Mexico is a great option.

SC: Where is that?

Me: I’m sorry?

SC: Where is MEXICO!??!?!

I had to hit the mute button at this point…I tried to navigate her to where Mexico is.

Me: It’s the country below Texas. It’s o-

SC: Where? I don’t see it!!!

Me: it’s below the United States. The color on the map is orange…

SC: That says Canada!

Me: … Not above the USA below it.

… … Yea, I don’t think I need a punch line.

It Persists!!

SC: I want to go to Mexico, Mazatlan!

Me: Alright when can I send you there?

SC: It’s in Mexico.

Me: …What DATE?

[slavetotheman]

Why is it that everyone that forgets their member number has an easily remembered phone number?

Um... not trying to be snarky, but I don't quite follow why you'd expect someone to know their timeshare (vacation club?) membership number more readily than their phone number... Not really seeing where the suck enters here.

[Narnia~]

Um... not trying to be snarky, but I don't quite follow why you'd expect someone to know their timeshare (vacation club?) membership number more readily than their phone number... Not really seeing where the suck enters here.

We give them cards upon books upon brochures that provide them their member numbers; I find that the ones who forget where it is tend to have excessively easy phone numbers. Just something I’m noticing. *shrug*

[Custard Chick]

Me: If you’re looking for a warm/beach area on a budget Mexico is a great option.

SC: Where is that?

Me: I’m sorry?

SC: Where is MEXICO!??!?!

Why do I feel like this woman is someone who complains about illegals also?

[chainedbarista]

SC: Where is MEXICO!??!?!

I had to hit the mute button at this point…I tried to navigate her to where Mexico is.

Me: It’s the country below Texas. It’s o-

SC: Where? I don’t see it!!!

Me: it’s below the United States. The color on the map is orange…

SC: That says Canada!

yet we have people here wondering why other countries think we're idiots...

bet she has problems finding her way out of the house, too.

[Ttam]

bet she has problems finding her way out of the house, too.

"How do I get outside?"
"Just go out the front door."
"It's dark out here...."
"...... Get out of the basement."

[Calud]

yet we have people here wondering why other countries think we're idiots...

bet she has problems finding her way out of the house, too.

http://onegoodmove.org/1gm/1gmarchiv...lack_on_1.html

My 2 Cents.

[Narnia~]

Snark

Um... not trying to be snarky, but I don't quite follow why you'd expect someone to know their timeshare (vacation club?) membership number more readily than their phone number... Not really seeing where the suck enters here.

Not to sound snarky myself...but if you've got the brain to remember your kids birthdays, their kids birthdays, your phone number, everything that you blather on and on about...you have at least some space left over to remember a 9 digit number. : P
Especially when you're calling in every day to check for availability. Sure there's people that are having an off day or they're new. I'm just making an observation.
I just call 'em how I see'em

[dreams305]

I work for a company that sells insurance to timeshares. You paid for your vacation in points, why do you expect cash back? You get your points back if you cancel for a covered reason.

These are the same people who want us to tell them that we will definantly pay for their loss if there is a hurricane coming. We can't tell you if it will be covered over the phone, we can only tell you what there is coverage for. Don't call us and ask us if we think that you should go to your timeshare if there may be a hurricane in the way. If you don't think it's safe then don't go! Don't hinge your travel plans on the chance we may not pay your claim. We don't cover fear. We also don't cover if you didn't go and the hurricane disapates before it even gets to the US and you could have gone. That is your decision, stop asking stupid questions.

[Gurndigarn]

Not to sound snarky myself...but if you've got the brain to remember your kids birthdays, their kids birthdays

I... don't. I just remember the general time frame, then ask my wife or kids for the specifics. I also don't remember my anniversary, which isn't so bad since my wife is even more likely to forget it.

[AnqeiicDemise]

I... don't. I just remember the general time frame, then ask my wife or kids for the specifics. I also don't remember my anniversary, which isn't so bad since my wife is even more likely to forget it.

Generally, what Narnia and I are bitching about is the following group of people:

1) Lazy bastards that know their member number but are too good to give it to you because we're peons and they are the masters.
2) Retardos who give me the reply "that information is in the other room. Look it up for me.)
3) People who call EVERY DAY for the same damn shit and still can't bother to remember 8-9 more digits.
4) Jerks who *know* their member number for *our* company but insist on giving C2's number out of convenience and fail to realize c1 & c2's databases are completely different.


I, on the other hand, have a memory for numbers. I can rattle off birthdays, anniversaries, addresses, sizes, bank accounts and social securities at the blink of an eye. I have a crazy memory (i.e. I remember stuff from when I was a toddler that leaves my mom fish-mouthed going "OMG! But you were soo little!"). I have *no* excuse.

But Crisco, if you're calling your bank for questions on a statement, if you're one of those people who don't have my memory, *get off your fucking ass and pick up the damned statement*. The premise is the same, damnit... your'e not shitting money, we get it.. so get off your ass and do a little leg work. Grrr!!

Besides if Ms. J, a 98 year old woman, platinum status can remember to at the very least *read* her notes once in a while, so can an able-bodied 20 year old. -firm nod- /rant

[Ttam]

Seriously. I won't even call until I have my credit card/customer number/serial number/whatever number they need in front of me, or have made at least a reasonable effort to find it. It's just common sense for me....

[Narnia~]

Perhaps I'm just Bitter ...

Werd.
It's just annoying when I get the same people every time that call up and say "I don't have it" and leave it at that as though you're supposed to say "OH! Terribly sorry let me trip over myself in the mad dash to get that FOR you."
I think we shouldn't help them until they have it. Like if you don't have your account number for the right bank they can't help you. :P
Narnia~