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  • #1

    locksmith diaries

    I'm new here and work at a locksmiths. Here's a few sc's for starters.......

    Know what you drive.....

    me: Thanks for calling <insert co name>. How can I help you?
    sc: I lost the key to my car. How much to make a new one?
    me: What kind of car?
    sc: Actually it's a truck. I just wanna know how much it'll cost me.
    me: What kind of truck?
    sc: Red! How much will it cost?
    me: What year, make and model is it?
    sc: It's older. I just wanna know how much you're gonna want.
    me: I need to know what kind of truck before I can quote you a price.
    sc: I just wanna know approximately how much you're gonna rape me for.
    me *sigh* Between $90 and $350
    sc: $350 !!! That's too much *click*


    You did what with your key???

    This lady calls me at 2 am to come make keys to her car. I get there and start on the process. Since 2 am is waaay past regular hours she has agreed to pay a small fortune for this service. While making small talk I make the mistake of asking her what have happened to her keys. The following exchange ensues....
    me: so what did hapen to your keys?
    sc: I dropped them in the toilet and since I wasn't going to fish them out I flushed them down.

    *So let me get this straight. the keys dropped in the toilet. She stood there for a minimum of 5 min contemplating what to do. then decided to waste a few hundred bucks, shrugged and flushed. *shakes head* Ever heard of rubber gloves and bleach, both being sold by the 24 hr store accross the street.

    Enjoy!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    In her own toilet?

    Gods, that sounds like a perfect lead in joke for a TV show.
    "I call murder on that!"

    Comment

    • #3
      *shudders* Ok, in all honesty, I kinda have to agree with that lady who flushed her keys! lol! Though I would've called the boyfriend or someone else to fish them out for me. The thought of sticking my hand into a toilet (ever if I was wearing a full-body rubber suit) just makes me gag! Ew! I totally wouldn't have wasted that money though, I'm cheap.

      Comment

      • #4
        A coat hanger will allow you to lift, drip, and drop the key ring into the sink for a thourogh cleaning, all without getting anywhere near the, um, undesirable substances.

        I've know some remarkably clumsy people over the year. I just retrieve, they clean their own keys.
        The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
        "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
        Hoc spatio locantur.

        Comment

        • #5
          Quoth Custard Chick View Post
          *shudders* Ok, in all honesty, I kinda have to agree with that lady who flushed her keys! lol! Though I would've called the boyfriend or someone else to fish them out for me. The thought of sticking my hand into a toilet (ever if I was wearing a full-body rubber suit) just makes me gag! Ew! I totally wouldn't have wasted that money though, I'm cheap.

          Called your boyfriend? Yikes! My girlfriend likes to pull the "I'm a girl, so do the yucky stuff for me!" act everyone once in a while too.

          Personally I just would have unbent a wire-hanger and fished 'em out. Don't even have to put your hand in the toilet and still save yourself a few hundred bucks. Frankly, unless you're well-off enough that a few hundred bucks is chump change to you, I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to retrieve 'em yourself.
          Be a winner today: Pick a fight with a 4 year old.

          Comment

          • #6
            Ah, I'm the oldest of four. My mom has a weak stomach and is arachnaphobic, and she works so I had the chore of the dishes/kitchen. Once you've cleaned up all the crap/vomit of three younger children, caught-and-released all the spiders and related creepy-crawlies, and fished soggy cheerios and unrecognizable food matter from a dish drain for five or ten years, "gross" is a very narrow term. The only time I ever ask a guy for help is if I want him to help me lift something or if I need him to explain how to hook my electronics together, thereafter I can do it myself. Viva la true equality!
            "If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking." - George Patton

            "If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." - Albert Einstein

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            • #7
              On the table in front of my wagon, Gypsy Camp, Pennsic War:
              (out on the middle of nowhere, swamp, about 11 pm, dark, far from phones and transportation)

              Tzigane: Oh, God, I lost my trunk key.
              Me: Oh, great. And your trunk is locked with all your crap in it, right?
              Tzigane: Yup. Can you pick locks?
              Me: Not very well. Let's get Csaba. Csaba!

              Enter Csaba, who gets to work on it as Tzigane holds a flashlight.
              30 minutes of feverish, frustrating work pass. No luck.

              Kaitlin: Where's Csaba? I need someone to climb a tree.
              (Csaba is as versatile as he is beautiful )
              Me: Picking the lock on Tzagane's trunk.
              Kaitlin: Oh, I have that same trunk. Try my key.

              "Click."

              Csaba: I hate you.

              Comment

              • #8
                Quoth It shouldn't View Post
                I'm new here and work at a locksmiths. Here's a few sc's for starters.......

                Know what you drive.....

                me: Thanks for calling <insert co name>. How can I help you?
                sc: I lost the key to my car. How much to make a new one?
                me: What kind of car?
                sc: Actually it's a truck. I just wanna know how much it'll cost me.
                me: What kind of truck?
                sc: Red! How much will it cost?
                me: What year, make and model is it?
                sc: It's older. I just wanna know how much you're gonna want.
                me: I need to know what kind of truck before I can quote you a price.
                sc: I just wanna know approximately how much you're gonna rape me for.
                me *sigh* Between $90 and $350
                sc: $350 !!! That's too much *click*

                you may like to know you aren't alone in that... hotels are the same, to give you a price quote we need to know
                1. how many adults and children in the room
                2. your smoking preference
                3. assuming there is an option between rooms with one and two beds based on how many are staying which you would prefer
                4. whether you want a standard or upgraded room
                5. why you are traveling to the area, we need this to know whether we need to give you a corporate rate, a government rate, a rack rate, or a package rate.
                6. what discounts you have such as AAA or AARP
                7. most important of all we must know when you are traveling, because our rates can and do change every single day of the year.

                failure to answer all 7 of those questions (I don't care what order you tell them to me as long as I get all 7 of them) will result in an inaccurate quote.
                If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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                • #9
                  Hehe "what kind of truck?" " Red..."

                  I would LOVE to say something like:

                  "Oh, red you say? Let's see here....ah, okay. Wow! You'll be glad you bought a red truck. A replacement key for a red truck will be $90. Good thing you don't have a blue truck. That'd be $350."
                  "What size can I get you, ma'am?"
                  "Red."
                  "Okay...I'll check the red for you, but what size do you need?"
                  "RED!"
                  "..."

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth IHateStupidCustomers View Post
                    Hehe "what kind of truck?" " Red..."

                    I would LOVE to say something like:

                    "Oh, red you say? Let's see here....ah, okay. Wow! You'll be glad you bought a red truck. A replacement key for a red truck will be $90. Good thing you don't have a blue truck. That'd be $350."
                    Nah, I'd turn it around: "Red? oooh, that's too bad, that'll be $350. If it had been blue . . . "

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth morgana View Post
                      Nah, I'd turn it around: "Red? oooh, that's too bad, that'll be $350. If it had been blue . . . "
                      Yes, yes...that is much better!

                      SC's make me brain no work anymore....
                      "What size can I get you, ma'am?"
                      "Red."
                      "Okay...I'll check the red for you, but what size do you need?"
                      "RED!"
                      "..."

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Quoth Sylvia727 View Post
                        Ah, I'm the oldest of four. My mom has a weak stomach and is arachnaphobic, and she works so I had the chore of the dishes/kitchen. Once you've cleaned up all the crap/vomit of three younger children, caught-and-released all the spiders and related creepy-crawlies, and fished soggy cheerios and unrecognizable food matter from a dish drain for five or ten years, "gross" is a very narrow term. The only time I ever ask a guy for help is if I want him to help me lift something or if I need him to explain how to hook my electronics together, thereafter I can do it myself. Viva la true equality!
                        Try not only cleaning up after bedriddern folks, terminally ill and Alzheimer's patients (more like Mom calls at midnight for me to come help her clean up a major mess) but also pets and what grosses some people out doesn't faze me in the least. I"m used to the crap, pee, vomit, furballs, you name it - I've cleaned it up.

                        And this from a woman who had her watch fall into the toilet not too long ago. Did I gross out?

                        Nah. Just rolled up my sleeve, fished it out, washed it off good w/soap and water (and my hands and arms too) and, after drying my watch off (it's water resistant to 300m) just put it back on and went on with life.

                        It's. No. Big. Deal.
                        Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          My friend got too drunk at a club, ran to the ladies' room and vomited in the well-used toilet. And dropped her keys in. Of course, she didn't tell me this until she had well filled the toilet with the contents of her gut.

                          Who is the permanent designated driver? Me. Whose car was I to be driving that night? Hers. Guess who had to reach in the toilet and fish around in the vomit (and I swear I felt a turd) because we couldn't get anyone to help us, and we didn't know where their cleaning stuff was so we could just grab something. (By we, I mean me, cause she was pretty much passed out on the floor).

                          Yeah. And I'm still alive and have no infectious diseases.

                          Dating a janitor in the past has made me brave.

                          But oooooooh did I disinfect myself when I got home. I even chopped my nails down to the quick.

                          When you've had grown men piss, shit, and vomit on you all at the same time, things just don't have the grossness they used to.

                          I still won't go on Fear Factor and eat a bug though.
                          ...how do used tampons attract thieves? ---Sleepwalker

                          Chickens are Asexual!

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Just a little FYI: The water in your toilet bowl is fresh water. Unless you didn't flush from the previous visit. Just reach in, grab it, then wash your hands.

                            Thankfully, Em has never put things in the toilet (except herself! I posted that pic a LONG time ago) so I never had to fish anything out.

                            The wire hanger is an good idea too.
                            Age and wisdom don't necessarily go together. Some people just become stupid with more authority.

                            "Who put the goat in there? The yellow goat I ate."

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              She could have worn some gloves or if all else fails then that's why they make soap. That's bizzare-most people don't bat an eye when it comes to doing #1 or #2 but when you gotta touch your own waste then it becomes a HUGE problem. I figure if you can wipe your ass then surely you can reach in the toilet & get your damn keys out of there.
                              When you reach in there just push the turds out of the way & grab those keys...LOL.

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