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Here it is, my 12 days of Christmas, extended over to cover the last two months. It’s been wild ride so hang on, and hopefully drink as much spiked eggnog as I did while writing this song.
12 days of working
Yep, you read that right. Manager took vacation time, and I had to work 12 days in a row, get one day off, and then work for more days including today, Christmas Eve. The first time in three years Christmas has not snuck up on me – and I can’t get any shopping at all done. By the time I got off work last night, it’s amazing to see the carnage at the mall. So the family got gift cards, albeit small, because I want to do something nice and practical for them.
11 spoiled children
In addition to the kid who caused the car accident, I saw many well behaved children and many spoiled brats that had no idea how to act in the store. I had to kick a few people out this last month because their child was being destructive, such as throwing pillows, ripping tags off furniture for fun, etc. While this is normal, there tended to be an abundance of them the last two months.
10 lack of plannings
I love the human specimens that come in and need something at the very last minute and didn’t that it was CHRISTMAS. None of our stores had stock left until after the first of the year. I don’t know how many times I heard “But auntie Mable is coming from Florida to spend Christmas with us and we NEED a sofa bed to put her on!”
Look, it’s not my fault you waited until TWO DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS to try and find a sofabed. It really isn’t. And no, I couldn’t care less.
I was swamped with 4 groups in the store and a fifth one walked in. They pulled up in a lifted truck, and wanted a promotion that we had for $400. The problem is, they knew it was out of stock, they had tried to get one constantly, and they expected me to have one when they know we all get our furniture from the same warehouse.
SC: Can you sell me a floor model?
Me: No, I can’t, unfortunately.
SC: You never have this in stock, it’s always a month out, that’s what you always say.
Me: We sell out of them all the time. How long have you been trying to get it?
SC: Six months!
Me: Well, if you had placed the order six months ago, and it took a month, you would have had the sofa five months ago.
SC: Don’t get smart with me! It’s not my fault that you are so unprepared for the Christmas rush!
Me: It’s two days before Christmas, you’ve had plenty of time to get the sofa for the last six months, you pull up with a truck without even calling me ahead of time to see if I have what your looking for, and suddenly because you waited until the last possible second to try to get lucky, and I’m the one who’s unprepared? It’s not my fault that I can’t accommodate your lack of planning.
Every other customer in the store had their jaw drop when I said this, but I didn’t care – I was pissed off at that point because of the attacks they were making against me. The two looked at each other and went “Fine, whatever,” before walking out of the showroom, beet red. As they walked out I said “Merry Christmas!” in a cheery voice.
I closed every single person that was in that showroom
9 failed deliveries
See above – if you’re one of the lucky ones who got on a truck before Christmas, after begging and pleading that you have to have it before then and we find something that works, why in God’s name would you not be home for the delivery? You knew it was the last delivery of the year and now are pissed I can’t get you a new delivery until after the first of the year.
Every delivery on that last truck was like this.
8 “I’m important!”s
Well, not eight, but close to it. A lot of elderly folks do shopping this time of year, and several times we had self important prissy women or men in suits and Bluetooth headsets come in and not realize that someone else was there first.
After hearing too many of these people do the whole “aHEM” or just sigh, or flat out say “excuse me, I need some help!” in a rude, condescending tone, The best conversation, where a customer beat me to the punch, was this one. I was helping two elderly ladies (their husbands were WW2 veterans), who had GREAT senses of humor, when this bleach blonde bimbo walks in.
SC: “Excuse me, I need some help.”
Me: “Give me just a second to finish up with these two ladies and I’ll be right with you.”
SC: (15 seconds later) “Excuse me.”
Me: (irritated) “I’m almost finished, this will take just a moment.”
SC: Yeah, well, I’m a customer, and you’re job is to help me.
Me: These two women are also customers. And they were here first. I’m going to finish writing up their order first.”
SC: “So you’re refusing to help me?”
At this point, one woman muttered to the other “What a bitch,” under her breath, but loud enough for the blonde to hear her. That went over as well as can be expected.
SC: “You know, just because you’re older than me, doesn’t mean you can speak to me like that.
Cool lady: You know what? This gentleman here is trying to tell you something but you’re too fucking stupid to get the hint. We were here first. Now sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up, you would have been helped right now if you got your head out of your ass!”
Ho. Ly. Shit.
Bimbo blonde turns bright red, and walks out of the store without a word. The only thing I could say to the woman? “If I could give you this sofa for free, I would in a heartbeat. That. Was. Awesome!”
The woman just sighs, and goes “You know, if I knew the female rights movement would end up creating that, I wouldn’t have been in such a hurry to burn my bra.”
I had no clue what to say to that, except crack up uncontrollably.
7 broken tables
Don’t know what happened this last month – I think the crane must have dropped the cargo container that carried our latest shipment of tables and the operator thought nobody would notice. Every table we’ve delivered this last month has been broken. Which leads to…
6 angry bitchings
No new tables to replace the damaged ones until after the first of the year.
5 “That’s too muuuuuuuuuch!”
Nothing new here. People say delivery is too much, or the sofabed is too much, or something is too much, or “do you have it cheaper?” Hey, I’m not the one coming in three days before company comes out for two weeks. If you came in a month ago when the relatives bought the damned plane ticket then we might have been able to work something out. No, we don’t have any of the cheap promos until after the first of the year. See #10.
4 “That won’t work”s
A variation of 5. They don’t care what they get, or so they say. They wait until the last minute. They tell you how important it is to order, they even leave the car running so they can get in and out in the fastest amount of time. They rush in, blabbering about all this and that and if they would just shut the hell up for two seconds I can show them something that fits their needs and I do so I take them over to it and show it to them and herethisoneistheonlyonewehaveicangettoyoudoyouwant it?
“…no, the color won’t work.”
Tell you what. When Santa leaves a lump of coal in your stocking, make sure to shove it up that tight ass of yours. Wait about a week and you should have a diamond.
3 “Fuck you”s
Can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this wonderful phrase the last two months when our stock started getting depleted until the end of the year…
2 insurance claims
Given the other thread was locked, I don’t need to elaborate on this, do I?
And a manager who’s on vacatiooooooon.
I hate my boss sometimes. I was the go-to guy for the entire district those 12 days I worked. Which means I dealt with enogh SCs to make me vow to never, ever, take a promotion if it’s offered to me.
Merry Christmas, everybody!
12 days of working
Yep, you read that right. Manager took vacation time, and I had to work 12 days in a row, get one day off, and then work for more days including today, Christmas Eve. The first time in three years Christmas has not snuck up on me – and I can’t get any shopping at all done. By the time I got off work last night, it’s amazing to see the carnage at the mall. So the family got gift cards, albeit small, because I want to do something nice and practical for them.
11 spoiled children
In addition to the kid who caused the car accident, I saw many well behaved children and many spoiled brats that had no idea how to act in the store. I had to kick a few people out this last month because their child was being destructive, such as throwing pillows, ripping tags off furniture for fun, etc. While this is normal, there tended to be an abundance of them the last two months.
10 lack of plannings
I love the human specimens that come in and need something at the very last minute and didn’t that it was CHRISTMAS. None of our stores had stock left until after the first of the year. I don’t know how many times I heard “But auntie Mable is coming from Florida to spend Christmas with us and we NEED a sofa bed to put her on!”
Look, it’s not my fault you waited until TWO DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS to try and find a sofabed. It really isn’t. And no, I couldn’t care less.
I was swamped with 4 groups in the store and a fifth one walked in. They pulled up in a lifted truck, and wanted a promotion that we had for $400. The problem is, they knew it was out of stock, they had tried to get one constantly, and they expected me to have one when they know we all get our furniture from the same warehouse.
SC: Can you sell me a floor model?
Me: No, I can’t, unfortunately.
SC: You never have this in stock, it’s always a month out, that’s what you always say.
Me: We sell out of them all the time. How long have you been trying to get it?
SC: Six months!
Me: Well, if you had placed the order six months ago, and it took a month, you would have had the sofa five months ago.
SC: Don’t get smart with me! It’s not my fault that you are so unprepared for the Christmas rush!
Me: It’s two days before Christmas, you’ve had plenty of time to get the sofa for the last six months, you pull up with a truck without even calling me ahead of time to see if I have what your looking for, and suddenly because you waited until the last possible second to try to get lucky, and I’m the one who’s unprepared? It’s not my fault that I can’t accommodate your lack of planning.
Every other customer in the store had their jaw drop when I said this, but I didn’t care – I was pissed off at that point because of the attacks they were making against me. The two looked at each other and went “Fine, whatever,” before walking out of the showroom, beet red. As they walked out I said “Merry Christmas!” in a cheery voice.
I closed every single person that was in that showroom
9 failed deliveries
See above – if you’re one of the lucky ones who got on a truck before Christmas, after begging and pleading that you have to have it before then and we find something that works, why in God’s name would you not be home for the delivery? You knew it was the last delivery of the year and now are pissed I can’t get you a new delivery until after the first of the year.
Every delivery on that last truck was like this.
8 “I’m important!”s
Well, not eight, but close to it. A lot of elderly folks do shopping this time of year, and several times we had self important prissy women or men in suits and Bluetooth headsets come in and not realize that someone else was there first.
After hearing too many of these people do the whole “aHEM” or just sigh, or flat out say “excuse me, I need some help!” in a rude, condescending tone, The best conversation, where a customer beat me to the punch, was this one. I was helping two elderly ladies (their husbands were WW2 veterans), who had GREAT senses of humor, when this bleach blonde bimbo walks in.
SC: “Excuse me, I need some help.”
Me: “Give me just a second to finish up with these two ladies and I’ll be right with you.”
SC: (15 seconds later) “Excuse me.”
Me: (irritated) “I’m almost finished, this will take just a moment.”
SC: Yeah, well, I’m a customer, and you’re job is to help me.
Me: These two women are also customers. And they were here first. I’m going to finish writing up their order first.”
SC: “So you’re refusing to help me?”
At this point, one woman muttered to the other “What a bitch,” under her breath, but loud enough for the blonde to hear her. That went over as well as can be expected.
SC: “You know, just because you’re older than me, doesn’t mean you can speak to me like that.
Cool lady: You know what? This gentleman here is trying to tell you something but you’re too fucking stupid to get the hint. We were here first. Now sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up, you would have been helped right now if you got your head out of your ass!”
Ho. Ly. Shit.
Bimbo blonde turns bright red, and walks out of the store without a word. The only thing I could say to the woman? “If I could give you this sofa for free, I would in a heartbeat. That. Was. Awesome!”
The woman just sighs, and goes “You know, if I knew the female rights movement would end up creating that, I wouldn’t have been in such a hurry to burn my bra.”
I had no clue what to say to that, except crack up uncontrollably.
7 broken tables
Don’t know what happened this last month – I think the crane must have dropped the cargo container that carried our latest shipment of tables and the operator thought nobody would notice. Every table we’ve delivered this last month has been broken. Which leads to…
6 angry bitchings
No new tables to replace the damaged ones until after the first of the year.
5 “That’s too muuuuuuuuuch!”
Nothing new here. People say delivery is too much, or the sofabed is too much, or something is too much, or “do you have it cheaper?” Hey, I’m not the one coming in three days before company comes out for two weeks. If you came in a month ago when the relatives bought the damned plane ticket then we might have been able to work something out. No, we don’t have any of the cheap promos until after the first of the year. See #10.
4 “That won’t work”s
A variation of 5. They don’t care what they get, or so they say. They wait until the last minute. They tell you how important it is to order, they even leave the car running so they can get in and out in the fastest amount of time. They rush in, blabbering about all this and that and if they would just shut the hell up for two seconds I can show them something that fits their needs and I do so I take them over to it and show it to them and herethisoneistheonlyonewehaveicangettoyoudoyouwant it?
“…no, the color won’t work.”
Tell you what. When Santa leaves a lump of coal in your stocking, make sure to shove it up that tight ass of yours. Wait about a week and you should have a diamond.
3 “Fuck you”s
Can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this wonderful phrase the last two months when our stock started getting depleted until the end of the year…
2 insurance claims
Given the other thread was locked, I don’t need to elaborate on this, do I?
And a manager who’s on vacatiooooooon.
I hate my boss sometimes. I was the go-to guy for the entire district those 12 days I worked. Which means I dealt with enogh SCs to make me vow to never, ever, take a promotion if it’s offered to me.
Merry Christmas, everybody!
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